For the last two decades family meals at the inlaws was either a sit down meal or a buffet where everyone adults and children would eat the same food at the same time.
A year ago it has changed to kids eat their food first and adults eat their food second. Their house, their rules etc and of course I would never question why they have changed their minds.
However this is making things very difficult for me. As 4 out of the families 8 kids are mine and the youngest just 16 months old. The easiest time for me to eat is while the children eat and what I now find is that, I sit with the children watching them eat and supervising as needed with the other mothers. Then I am the last to grab an adult plate to up with yoummy foodl having asked my oldest 8yo to watch youngest, so I can eat.
Usually the youngest two, toddler and litle child won't settle eith my oldest so I end up juggling parenting them on my lap, at my feet whilst trying to eat around them.
At the last meal, I was asked to move from dining room as my fil had finished eating and wanted to watch sports on the tv, fair enough I moved to kitchen. Where I was asked to move again, as mil was clearing up from the meal I was trying to eat . Finally I moved to standing up to a breakfast high table where I one handedly ate, whilst trying to butter a roll with a toddler on my hip and the other children running around.
I am finding it very difficult to enjoy family meals anymore. :(
Don't even ask about DH, every time he tries to help mil will pass him another beer and tell him to chat to df or db. She doesn't see why I need any help with our children.
I was thinking that at the next meal at theirs, I could ask if I can eat with the children. There is always food left over, they cater well. I can then supervise the children while they eat...win, win. But concerned if I ask it might be seen as ruddess and I don't want to cause a rift.
AIBU to ask to eat children's food with the children ?
ps. They have always had family children at meals in the past, even tiny ones. Really wish they would go back to the old system.
AIBU?
to ask if I can eat with the children at the next family meal ?
Babieseverywhere · 27/12/2013 08:26
we in the company of some fabulously assertive women who never yield to family pssure and have perfectly marvellous, helpful DPs who are never selfish or self absorbed.
It's a wonder there's any material for the relationships board.
Jolly good for all those people who simply wouldn't tolerate to, or whose DHs are so helpful and hands on that it couldn't be an issue.
Op. your ILs are being, at best, thoughtless. You might find it helpful to talk to your DH about it and agree a plan. If there's to be separate eating then perhaps you can evenly split the supervising with your DH and another family member. Personally, i find a bit of planning really helps.
Then you can enjoy some time at the grown up table and your DCs can enjoy some supervised playtime without being tucked away at Christmas for the elders to enjoy a child free meal.
I wonder why some ppl don't just ignore the kids altogether and go out to the pub tbh (thinking of own DM with "looks" towards "energetic' DS. 
) why can't they just help out?
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