to not want to go to work due to excessive wind.

[Bakedpies]

not the weather. mine!!!!

two days of sprouts, carbs and rich foods have left me stinking. im burping sulphur all over the place and passing wind like theres no tomorrow.

i work in a public facing job. ill have to hold it in and so ill explode

my stomach hurts and i just want to lie on the sofa till im deflated but you cant call in sick for wind.

what the hell do i do?

The only thing that works is having a poo in my experience!

Some windeze might do the job.

ive done that several times, its not made even a jot of difference.

Yucky - and you have an unfortunate username for this topic!

Any chance you could get to a health food shop for some activated charcoal tablets?

Thirty star jumps NOW.

Acidiphilus from a health food shop. It is a highly concentrated form of good tummy bacteria, which will help to rebalance your stomach flora.

Do some exercise

Soluable co-codamol helps the pain of trapped wind and is a miracle cure in the potato house!

Walk to work - the impact will get your bowels moving and you can trump it out with each step.

Call in sick with d&v, you dont want to spread it to the rest of the team.

You havent got d&v but thats what you could use as an excuse.

When are you due in?

Drink some hot water and do some exercise - go for a run if you can or do the star jumps sassy suggested.

Have you had any breakfast?

Windeze and lots of movement. I'd just fart at work though

Raisah - don't be ridiculous.

Just go to work - blame the customers or walk off to a quiet corner to fart. So not a big deal.

Strong black coffee (and in the olden days, a fag) would get most people going.

Isn't activated charcoal meant to help?

As an IBS sufferer I find it odd that someone would want to call in sick for a bit of wind.

Essentially as horrid as it sounds, the only thing that truly helps me when I'm in the grip of an episode is to fart it all out.

call them and say 'I had no self-control over what I ate and as a result am feeling very ill'. See how that goes down?

failing that, brisk walk, some medication and lots of water.

Hula hooping works to release the gas.

Does anyone remember a gripping thread about someone's post-Christmas constipation?

It went on for a week or so.

The constipation or the thread?

i was in work at 8:45. so no time to exercise and i couldnt walk to work as its too far.
shops not open so ive just taken to stealth farting and hoping noone notices though my stomach is really painful.

Both. It had it all: people were sharing experiences and advice and they were really rooting for the OP and the difficult birth of her giant turd.

It was like that Christmas/New Year period where everyone's nice to each other and then on 2 January they go back to arguing in checkout queues.

Maybe get some ginger tea if you can get to the supermarket? May not help with your immediate flatulant-fest but will settle the tum overnight.

I expect there are an awful lot of people in the same boat.

Maybe the government could announce a 1 day "fart amnesty" every year, then everyone could parp merrily without fear of retribution. Just dont strike a match, whatever you do.

Andrews liver salts. ASAP.

You can thank me later!