Every day my son says mean things to me and my 10 year old son and it's pulling us all down. 11 year old is clearly fed up with being small with nuts and having a single mum set the rules so he sabotages whatever he can and so this xmas, when I dropped them off to their dad's I could not wait to drive away. Never in my life did I think I would so want to geddaway like that. I have been in bed ever since, recovering - deep exhaustion. Sure, he can't help it. So me and 10 year old are as nice as we can be. 11 year old hogs all the air time stonks off in a huff when he can't think of something rotten to say, imitates us, makes us late for everything. He says his dad is perfect and would like to live with him but step mother does not want that. I just feel like the mean bad parent even though I am doing all I can to make his life as nice as poss, just took him skiing before xmas even though it hurt my knees and wiped me out. Nothing is ever good enough. So now, I just send him to his room for an hour if he tries to wreck meal times e.g. The put-downs to his younger bro are the biggest worry because, here, there's a job vacancy for an alpha male and 11 yr old keeps trying to fill it and 10 yr old looks up to him. My youngest is being given a course in how to become a masochist from all directions. Help? Do I get a mannie? Something to dilute the ghastly triangular theme of hell here? Luckily, my youngest has taken up fitness fanaticism. Oldest's response has instantly been to grow a spare tyre - so that's been the only amusing aspect to it all.