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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel humbled

5 replies

Andrewofgg · 26/12/2013 18:25

This comes from a legal blog which I regularly visit, and although the source is the Daily Hate Mail it appears to be accurate; I remember the original case.

Eight year-old cancer victim Neon Roberts has been given the all-clear by doctors a year after his mother fled to avoid radiotherapy.

Neon had been diagnosed with a brain tumour. His mother Sally ran away with her son when doctors said he needed on a second operation and radiation treatment, believing the procedure would be harmful and that the doctors had been “brainwashed” by pharmaceutical giants.

She took him to centre in Sussex where Neon underwent oxygen therapy but the pair were found by police after four days.

At the High Court, Mr Justice Bodey insisted that Neon undergo the conventional surgery and radiotherapy as a matter of urgency. When Sally Roberts asked for more expert opinion, he told her:

“We do not have the luxury of time”.

Neon and his twin sister Elektra were sent to live with their father.

A year later, Neon in now in remission following treatment at Great Ormond Street Hospital. His father, Ben Roberts, told the Mail:

“We are delighted to be able to share our family’s joy that all Neon’s scans, including one last week, have shown no sign of the cancer returning. The treatment so far has been successful and on Monday the doctors told us that while Neon will continue to need to be monitored, this radio- and chemotherapy phase is over. We couldn’t have wished for a better Christmas present.”

He continued:

“Last October we received news that every parent dreads, Neon had a brain tumour that would kill him if he did not have treatment. Neon’s mother and I faced agonising decisions. We each reacted differently. Neon then embarked on a long cycle of radio- and chemotherapy. Treatment and recovery has been Neon’s journey this year.”

Neon’s aunt Lucy added:

“We are delighted that the scan is clear. Everyone is so happy. We want people to know Neon’s happy and he’s doing really well. I saw him and he was bouncing around.”

Now: MN is an overwhelmingly female forum and I know that (on average and over time!) women are more compassionate, reasonable and understanding than men. I also know that MN is self-selected to be full of nice people whatever their gender.

But how many of us, of either gender, could be as understanding of and compassionate to an OH whose actions had so nearly cost a DC’s life?

I don’t think I could, and I take off my hat to this father.

OP posts:
PacificDingbat · 26/12/2013 18:27

I know nothing about this case, but I agree his response sounds v measured.

It is a great shame that people when faced with agonising decisions often fall easy prey to Snake Oil Vendors Hmm.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 26/12/2013 18:29

I wonder what the father's relationship with the mother is like.

Groovee · 26/12/2013 18:36

I remember this story and the programme which followed in which father was awarded custody. Great news that his scans were clear and long may they stay clear.

SomePeopleNeedHelp · 26/12/2013 18:37

I doubt he is being compassionate towards the mother, more like thinking his dc don't need to read about him slagging her off.

PacificDingbat · 26/12/2013 18:50

Yes, who knows what his motives are, but at least he had the good sense to keep it neutral.

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