to prefer my PIL to my DM?

[poorincashrichinlove]

We have had a lovely christmas at home this year DH, 2 DCs & myself. Our families are spread out and this is the first year ee haven't hosted/been invited to either parents.

None of our families have large houses so DH & I wondered about renting a large house for a big family christmas, with both sides invited, for 2014. I sent out a text to everyone to for their thoughts. DH family replied that it's a good idea, even BIL who lives abroad & dpesn't come back to the UK often. My DM, on the other hand, chose to ask why I hadn't bought

You texted people on boxing day about plans for 2014 Christmas?!!
Let us get this one out of the way first please !

Maybe your mum thinks it is too soon to plan that far ahead, a lot can happen in a year (though I understand you will want to book early - some places have January sales - Haven holidays etc.).
Not sure what your mum replied with?

On this alone it is hard to judge if YABU or not.
However, I prefer my in laws to my Dad, but that is years worth of back story!

phone posted before I was ready...
woman beating DFIL a present, and would my DH be footing the bill? I sense it's her "off" sense of humour, but she's so mean sometimes. PIL are warm & loving with no snidey comments. Just feeling a bit sad that my own family are so invalidating.

With all the nightmare in law stories out there, does anyone else have the opposite scenario where it's their own dysfunctional DPs they struggle to understand and tolerate?

I absolutely love my in-laws, including my SIL (the MN perennial). they are A really kind and welcoming family.

They're not my parents though so I probably forgive them the little irksome things a lot more.

sorry, just to clarify, the (former) wife beater is SF rather than FIL

She's maybe thinking that this is going to bump the price of Christmas up no end all to spend time with her daughters in laws - how well does she know them? What about division of labour? Who gets to say about what food is to be eaten & when? I can see her POV.......

Nope, I absolutely adore my XPILs, they are truly wonderful people, and XMIL in particular is simply the kindest, most loving person I have ever met. I'm divorced from their son, but they still love me and treat me as their daughter. They are getting v frail now, and we are making plans for them to come and live with me. I can't bear the thought of either of them living in an old peoples' home.

My parents, on the other hand, are a steaming pile of shit, and being NC with the lot of them is wonderful.

Isaw it's wonderful that you're happy to have your XPIL come to live with you. I often think about cutting communication altogether with my own family cos they make me feel so shit