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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cash in dd's premium bonds

54 replies

vitalia · 26/12/2013 09:42

My fil buys our dc' s premium bonds every birthday and christmas.
My dd is 3.5 and is on the waiting list for nhs speech therapy. We have finished the listening group, and now there is a nine month waiting list for the next group. (She starts reception in September)
The nhs assessor made no bones about how rubbish the nhs system was now and how it's difficult to get good results when children are in groups with long waiting lists between each block of sessions.
We got on really well with the nhs assessor and asked her if she would teach our dd privately.
Money is as always tight, but we feel our dd would suffer at school if we don't start tackling her speech problems.
Would we be unreasonable to cash in some of her premium bonds to enable her to have private speech therapy?
We also save monthly for our dc' s, and of course would put the money back when we are able.

OP posts:
Original poster
vitalia · 26/12/2013 19:06

We have had a second opinion from a private salt therapist, we paid £125 for this. We did a few sessions with her over the last summer holidays when we had some spare cash, but my dd didn't take to her and she charged £70 a session.
I was already aware of how bad the NHS salt is in our area, the NHS therapist just confirmed it for me. My dd also interacted well with her during the session and it was me who approached her to ask if she did private work.
My dh realises the urgency of dd's problem and is also very concerned. He's a thinker so will probably tell me his opinion on using dd's bonds when he's mulled it over but like me he feels uneasy about it.
We are doing all the overtime we can to save money to begin the sessions but will be abit short, I don't want to stop and start the sessions as I want it to be continuous.
In the back of my mind though, I think, would dd thank us for giving her the extra support with her speech, possibly saving her from embarrassment, bullying and becoming introverted not to mention struggling with basic phonic work because of her problems. Honestly even with the moral implications of it being her money I really think she would.

OP posts:
mousmous · 26/12/2013 19:12

yanbu
I would cash them to raise enough for the therapy. it matters to your dc now. so do it.

Mmmbacon · 26/12/2013 19:56

Ywbvvvu not to cash these in. your dd would not thank you in 13 years time for money for get 16th if she has s&l issues following on from not having interventions now,
Book the sessions, only tell fil if you are confident he would agree, otherwise just tell him she us starting and you are funding it it if your savings,

I had to do this for dd, spent 800 on play therapy that she needed now, I was on mat leave, didn't think twice if using savings, they are technically her "collegefunds" but their was plenty of time to to back up the savings, not so much time to get dd the help she needed,

MidniteScribbler · 26/12/2013 20:01

Speak to your FIL, I can't imagine any grandparent thinking it was an unreasonable use of funds. I certainly wouldn't, and if I were the grandparent and had the money available I'd offer to just give it to you. It's not as if you're blowing the money on a game console or new shoes, it's vital therapy needed for her.

MeMySonAndI · 26/12/2013 20:04

I think you should cash them and not bother about upsetting your fil by telling him about it.

There are problems that can be sorted before they get to a certain age and after that become very resistant. If your DD's is one of those, I'll rather use the money now than having her lagging behind in school in a long term basis because she didn't receive the support she needed at a time she was more receptive to it.

HappyMummyOfOne · 26/12/2013 20:06

Given you didnt buy them, they are not yours and you cant replace the money for some years i think its the wrong thing to do. You need to ask your FIL but it seems very unfair to expect your dd to fund her our course of therapy. I'd give up all extras, take on extra hours etc before making DS pay for his own treatment.

Anomaly · 26/12/2013 20:19

I think you'd be crazy not to use the money. Its hers and she needs the therapy. I wouldn't discuss it with fil. I would just get on and do it.

MeMySonAndI · 26/12/2013 20:34

Never underestimate the power of early intervention, waiting for the help to come may mean that the opportunities to sort the problem get substantially reduced.

If he needs the therapy now, don't fret. More positive results may come from the money being spent now than 20 years down the line.

ChristmasDayIsAGoodDay · 26/12/2013 20:47

Agree with MeMySonAndI . The therapy is a form of investment, in your dd's future development.
FWIW, if I was your FIL I would give the idea my blessing, but would appreciate being informed.

ChristmasDayIsAGoodDay · 26/12/2013 20:48

jinglemybells I don't see your problem - isn't that the whole idea of forums like mumsnet?

steff13 · 27/12/2013 05:53

My daughter started speech therapy when she was 2.5. She had a series of ear infections that affected her hearing, which resulted in a significant speech delay. She was 3 in September, and the difference she experienced in just a couple of months of therapy (1x weekly) has been amazing.

Our insurance covered her therapy, but if it hadn't, we definitely would have cashed in savings or bonds or whatever to fund it. I would do it without hesitation.

Original poster
vitalia · 27/12/2013 06:16

Thank you all for your replies, my dh is going to speak to fil about it this week out of courtesy.
We will definitely be in a position to make her premium bonds the same as her siblings by the time she's 16 so we're going to use them now while she needs it.

OP posts:
DorisButtons · 27/12/2013 06:28

I would. This money is for her future and speech is an aspect of this. Fwiw, my son has private speech therapy - no thanks nhs!

Original poster
vitalia · 28/12/2013 17:19

Just an update- we asked fil if he'd mind us cashing in some of dd's premium bonds and he said of course not. We can use them for whatever we like.
He then phoned the next day to say he would pay for dd to have ten sessions. Which is an amazing outcome Smile
Thanks for all your replies

OP posts:
MyPrettyToes · 28/12/2013 17:32

Brilliant! Excellent. So very, very pleased for you and especially your daughter. What an awesome FIL you have.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/12/2013 17:46

lovely outcome

thank you for updating - too many on mn dont

Eastpoint · 28/12/2013 18:18

Great news, so glad you asked him & you have such good news.

Snoopingforsoup · 28/12/2013 18:45

Fantastic news OP

ChristmasDayIsAGoodDay · 28/12/2013 20:12

Excellent, thanks for updating too!

WilsonFrickett · 28/12/2013 22:23

Lovely! And thanks for updating Smile

ThreeWisePerpendicularVinces · 28/12/2013 22:25

Excellent, what a lovely FIL you have!

TreaterAnita · 28/12/2013 23:42

Was just about to post to say that I wouldn't hesitate when I read your update. What a great outcome and what a fantastic FIL you have.

AlbertoFrog · 29/12/2013 00:03

So pleased for you all and how lovely to hear a positive in-law story. What a wonderful man your FIL sounds.

I truly hope your DD comes on leaps and bounds. If ever there was something worth spending money on then surely it's this.

Good luck OP.

annielouisa · 29/12/2013 00:12

Good luck to ypur DD with the therapy and it is lovely to hear a positive story about in-laws.

wonderstuff · 29/12/2013 00:17

YANBU, but I would speak to your fil.