To be in a tiny strop over difference in monetary value of gifts?

[findingmymarbles]

DSister has had a gift from our mother. I asked for cash from family, I have a specific thing I am saving up for.
My mother made a big thing of showing me the price tag of Dsis's gift, by-accident-on-purpose. It's £250.

I had £50 in a card. Obviously fifty whole pounds is a good present, really not to have a strop over.

But fuck me, my sister is an accountant , married to a doctor. I'm 6 months into starting my business. The thing I'm saving for would earn my business hundreds if not thousands. £250 would be one 8th of what I need.

My parents are fairly well off, it really would not kill them to spend the same on both of us.

Am I being unreasonable to feel short changed, let down and quite sad?

Ask for similar next year then flog it on ebay, you might make a good bit more than 50 quid.

Sounds like DM 'keeping up with the Joneses' - Dsis will need an expensive present as DSis is wealthy, you, on the other hand will be exceptionally grateful for 50 quid as you are much less well off, upshot both DDs happy.

Ask your DM
" Mum, did DS bag really cost £250??? If so do you not think you should spend the same on both of us?"

Then see what she says, at least she will know you are a bit pissed off about it

Are your parents interested in your business? Do they think it's a good idea?
If they glaze over when you talk about it, maybe they don't want to give you cash towards it either.
Sorry, it doesn't help you to feel better, but it might explain your mum's actions.

I bet she bought it in a sale & is trying to pretend she didn't.

Oh yes tk maxx - if course. I bought loads there this year.

I know my parents spent more on my gift than my siblings but my DM told me it's because I live in a different country so she doesn't see me as much. She's always buying little things for my dsis and helping with childcare etc. She can't do that for me so bought a more expensive gift. She did tell me not to tell them though.

I think amistillsexymight be on to it.

I think your mum doesn't approve of your business idea and doesn't want to 'enable' you by giving you something that will help you along.

Perhaps buying the expensive present for your sister makes her feel indulgent and happy.

I would be a bit hurt in your shoes.

Yanbu. Its so vulgar to talk money anyway, my mil told my dd how much my present was.

YNBU
If she got it reduced why not tell you? It must have been deliberate, she sounds a bit toxic tbh.

My mum has 7 gc, 6 got £10 each for Christmas (cash), 1 got ~ £200 worth of presents she spent months buying. Yes, the one gc is offspring of the golden child.

Dsis and I don't care anymore, she's ruined the relationship with all other 6 gc who are almost all old enough to see what is going on.

The reduced-price theory may well be true, but given that you don't know one way or the other, I think it's entirely human to feel a bit out of sorts at that kind of disparity. Now that you've had a lot of supportive comments, with which I entirely agree, I'd hide this thread as well before you get a load of negativity. And find a strategy that works to ditch the resentment. I find writing it down on a piece of paper and putting it in a jar "to be looked after by someone else" (metaphorically speaking) sometimes works. HTH.

My first though was exactly the same. I would suggest that your parents really do not think your business is a good idea, and are even trying to emphasise the point by this little stunt.

Identical thing happened to a girl I know. She was starting up her own cupcake business, as everyone seems to be doing now (seriously, why do we all know at least 5 people that make cupcakes? The fad is over people!! Anyway...I digress...) and she wanted a really expensive piece of equipment to enable her to make cakes a lot faster, from memory some Kitchenaid thing, about £800. She'd asked her parents to help her buy it, and they thought of every excuse under the sun not to help. They just didn't want her to waste her time on something she basically had no real talent (more than anyone else has) for and she would never make any money from. They have paid for holidays for her, and many other far more expensive things. It was definitely them making a stand to show they felt very strongly about her wasting her time on something they felt that would not work.

Having said that, still a crappy way to go about it, on Christmas Day.

What is it that you need for your business? Nosey

I'm guessing it was a tk max purchase as well.

Does your mum give you lots of other help throughout the year (childcare etc) and felt she had to sort of make it up to your sister?

Why don't you ask your mum, in a calm way, why the discrepancy? It would be interesting to find out. Has she always been a cow? My sympathies to you.

YANBU, I may spend a bit more on one person, or if it's a really special gift, but not 5x more, particularly between siblings.
Is it a one off or does she always do that?

YANBU. It's a shitty thing to do.

I think its lesson learned though, next time, ask for something high-value that you need.

I think it is unfair to have such a big discrepancy, however it maybe that she got it cheaper, so the gap between was much smaller. Though to show you that it was £200 different is not on either way.
It does annoy me when there is an obvious amount different price wise - especially if the people involved realise.