DH and I are visiting his parents over Christmas in Scotland, a flight away for us. PIL have a big house and we are here for 10 days.
DH's sister and her husband and his brother and her his wife have 2 young DCs each. The DCs have spent most of the holidays so far palmed off on elderly PIL, who are a bit exhausted but too nice to say no.
DH and I have quite a wide circle of friends and interests, whereas even before children, SIL and BIL did not. Their whole life revolves around house and home, which is fine for them I guess but not really our cup of tea. Hence they have repeat Christmas Days in each relatives house leading up and after Christmas. The one at PIL was the 23rd. We were told we had to be present in the house from 11-7pm to watch the children doing a nativity pantomime and then singing and dancing. While I don't mind an hour or two, I found 8 hours a bit gruelling. DH and I would rather spend daylight hours in the holidays outdoors doing stuff, rather than indoors all day eating and sitting on a sofa.
BIL didn't even turn up until 5.30pm, although finished work at 2. By this time, we were all sitting in the living room, SIL was texting on her phone, DH was on his mobile internet, and I had, after sitting watching the children all day, just gone on my laptop to look at FB. BIL immediately piped up "Ms Celebratory should put her laptop away during family time". I could have cheerfully throttled him, but I settled for ignoring him, as did everyone else. He then left to go home, sans children and wife, 15 mins later, so had spent less than 2 hours with his own kids.
As usual, one child from each family was left with the PIL overnight while the parents went home, this seems to be the norm and at weekends the parents apparently like to be childfree if they can, so again the 4 children are left at their grandparents much of the time.
Anyway, it was just one day. We had to exchange presents on the 23rd as neither BIL and SIL could make it to PIL for Christmas Day, but this evening one set skyped and then arranged to visit all day tomorrow. But they don't want to go home afterwards as only BIL drives and he wants to drink, and they don't want to get a taxi for the 10 mins. So DH is going to have to sleep in the shed to make room for them!
Thoughts? DH and I don't have DCs yet. Is this normal?
AIBU?
And This One, Arsey BIL
CelebratoryChangeNamer · 25/12/2013 20:16
PIL like us to sleep separately in their house.
Why?
What do you get up to?
Why do they want married couples in separte rooms? 
As for the 'palming' well for starters you sound as if you are coming at it from a judgy place so i'm not sure if youre ifea of palming is actual palming. Secondly, there is no normal, its different with every family and what works for some doesnt work for others. As you said, you have no dcs so you dont know what being a parent is like, nor do you know what Pil feel about it. You make your own parenting decisions when the time comes and let others make theirs. I'm sure you'll do things that get judged by others. As i said- there is no normal.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I'm up the way and to the right on the map loads of hills and plenty of us to join you in the outdoors ooh and I have a spare room 
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