To be pissed off with DH for being cheery?

[Feckadeck]

I fear I am..but hear goes anyway. Living away from families on both sides. Had baby 2 months ago. My mum spend lot of time with us when she was born. MIL arrived yesterday (her first time meeting our daughter). DH hates Xmas. Been miserable about I since we got together 7 years a go. Gives me card but only because I force the issue. I accept and whenever really bother with it much. Always on been own due to living situation. We had early Xmas dinner with my mum before she had to go home and exchanged gifts etc. DH wasn't exactly miserable but didn't get into the spirit of it either....moaned about going to see lights etc. Roll on today and he's mr Christmas cooking dinner, cheery and even signing a Xmas carol earlier quietly to himself. I am so pissed off with him!!! I kinda know it is irrational as at least he is in spirit of Xmas which I want but why couldn't he have out effort in when my mum was here or even yesterday when we got an hour to ourselves and I tried to make Xmas eve special for our family of three?! He's ruining my day and making me feel miserable and miss my own family and Xmas with them even more. I am being unreasonable right?:(

Well, don't you sound like a ray of sunshine? I'm not surprised your DH is glad his DM has arrived - perhaps she's better company than you are.

What an utter utter bastard he sounds...

How dare he be happy!

Perhaps he is just happy to be spending time with his mum and that she is getting to meet his daughter?

Ltb

Let's get this straight, is this the first time in seven years your MIL has been with you for Christmas? And now he's mr jollypants about Christmas for the first time ever since you've been together?

Actually I am a ray of sunshine into. Been very cherry with everyone and letting mil have lot a of hugs with lo and being very positive about their first meeting. I sorted all gifts out for inlaws, etc and am being excited about lo opening her gifts from them. Granted I sound miserable in my post but that is because he is being so fake. He was doing tons to help with baby this morning too....washing and clothes sorting (have to do even Xmas morning as very sick baby so need to do daily) and all sorts of things he normally doesn't do. I know I should feel grateful but it's annoying me he's acting like this when he left my mum to do most of these chores whilst she was here.

Not it snot first time mil has been with us in 7 years....we live away from both sides and have spend 3 Xmas with mil but NONE with my family at all. Sorry if not clear in op.

Grrr it is not...ignore snot!

And yes it's first time he's been mr jolly pants about Xmas since we go to together. I am glad for my daughters sake but wish he'd not been so miserable in past or when I tired to do early Xmas with my mum or do something special Xmas eve day with just 3 of us. Cricky I know I am being daft but he's annoyed me so much. With fake ness of by all and I really miss my mum even though didn't miss as much in last 7 xmases.

He's ruining my day and making me feel miserable and miss my own family and Xmas with them even more

Keep repeating that mantra over and over again... after I while I can ensure you a crap xmas.

Fair enough.... That is true I suppose. But come on does no one think he is being even a tiny bit unreasonable being so cherry today when he could hardly muster a smile before? Fake.

But why do you think his happiness is fake? Maybe he's just happy his mums there for Xmas? maybe he doesn't usually like Xmas but she reminds him of his childhood xmases so he's feeling a bit more into it.

Nope he is being fake I can tell. Asked him about childhood Christmas and he claims not to remember them at all. Plus even if true doesn't that make him a bit of an arse in prior years as he knows I like Xmas but would hardly do anything nice with me or even with his daughter last night! But I can take a hint IABU. Will. Go get my head in better place and not ruin Xmas for myself!

Today is Christmas.

It's the real day.

I think sometimes Christmas is too commercial and many get a bit bah humbug with with the we are supposed to be 'full of Christmas cheer' for 2-3 weeks

I can understand why this is getting to you. You must feel like he only gets joy if his mum is there so that will leave you feeling crap on behalf of you and daughter

And he should have made an effort when your mum was there however maybe it's a bit like he woke up the morning and realised it is Christams

See, my dh defo makes more of an effort with the dcs when his dps are around. He says he can feel it happening, a sort of child's desire to impress. So I get that part.

Perhaps just go with the jolliness, try just to enjoy him in a good mood and don't read too much into it. Perhaps you feel hurt that he makes the effort for his mum but not you? Is all ok elsewhere in the relationship?

Missbetsy you have it spot on. That is exactly what I am thinking re the desire to impress, more effort for his mum and feeling hurt not for me an daughter. Elsewhere in relationship is okay...it's definitely not a ltb situation! Thanks for that....just left internet a while to try to enjoy and coming back to see your post is exactly what I needed. Might have little chat to him about it tonight ... Not row just a 'I felt bit hurt' thing.