Help! Need to be in two places at one time!

[nothingbyhalves]

Xmas eve in my family follows this routine. Go to my parents for tea, then to church (only time we ever go and important to me) then home as father Xmas visits or estate around that time. Thus year after seeing santa we also have to pick up our meat for tomorrow!
My niece is working and can't make tea, so my sister has asked me to not go to church or not see Santa. I really reluctant to do either as they are all coming here tomorrow for dinner anyways. But my mum always gives grand kids pj's on Xmas eve which my niece will miss unless I change my plans. I'm being a cow aren't I?

I don't see why church is important to you when Christmas is the only time you go.

Could you go to a later service - maybe a Midnight Mass?

I almost lost dc. I promised if they were fine I'd go every Xmas eve. Stupid I know

Dc are only 3 so too late for midnight mass

Huh? Why does your sister not want you to go because your neice is working?

I don't get it

If your niece is old enough to work, she is presumably old enough to not be deeply bothered by not getting pjs at the same time as other grandchildren? And you'll see her tomorrow anyway?

I think you need to decide which out of church/Santa/family tea is least important to you.

You cannot bargain with God. I know where you're coming from I was the exact same when my Ds was born premature. The begging,bargaining,negotiations with God. Please let him live,even if he is disabled let him live,I will volunteer,go to church etc.

Dn can make church but not tea before so my mum won't get to give her her pj's. unless we have tea later and miss church. Also d mil is down and was looking forward to church! Will prob miss father Xmas. Which isn't fair on kids. Or I'll take mil to church and leave kids with my mum.

Can you do Meat, Church then Tea with PJs?

Agree with jingling. We go to Mass every week so Christmas Eve Mass is important to us. Can't be that important if you only go once a year - why that particular service? Why not another? Is is because the others are "boring"? (Sorry, bit peeved that's church will be packed out with non-goers this afternoon & will have to get there 1 hour earlier to get a space!)

If we have tea after church dc will miss Santa. Dh is going to go nuts as we always change our plans to fit in with dsis.

Am completely confused about where you will be picking up meat that late in the evening
but that aside, what about taking your dc to your parents, having tea, leaving them there so they can see their cousin while you go to Church, collect the meat, and then collecting them after.

Have to agree with redsky though, if the niece is old enough to be working, I'm sure she can cope with not getting her PJs until a bit later in the evening.

Well don't change your plans then and your neice will just have to make do. Them's the breaks when you have to work.

Stick to your plans, as going to church that day is very important, as your DH is right, why change your plans to fit someone else.

Either niece is old enough to cope or your kids will have to miss the father Christmas float. They won't remember this Christmas anyway.

As for those judging once a year church attendance, 1 what happened to judge not lest ye be judged? and 2 don't forget a lot of people are away at Christmas. We go to church most Weeks but it isn't the church we will attend tonight with my dm and dgf. Also You can't encourage them to come more often if they never come at all...

Is your church open all day? Quick prayer. Light a candle? I'm going to church later. I can light a candle for you if that helps?

I would knock Santa on the head as that should ease the pressure.

I don't see why there is an issue that OP only goes to church on Christmas eve. it's her choice to do so.

there was me thinking the church was welcoming to all. unless of course it fecks up parking. jesus. no wonder it loses it's followers in their droves.

OK, if your niece is old enough to work she's old enough to understand that others don't have to work to her timetable. Sounds harsh but that's life.

Make a massive fuss of her when she can join you, but it's UR to expect everyone else to pick and choose bits so she can join in.

Once a year church attenders? Don't see the problem and wonder if people's vicars/priests feel the same way?

Thank you puggymum. X

I am totally not religious, I only go at Christmas and Easter because I like to. I don't need anybody else to understand it because it's nobody else's business!

I really hate the attitude towards people who only go to Christmas once.

I find it very difficult to believe in a God who is essentially a tantruming three-year-old wailing about not getting enough attention/attendance.

For a lot of people Christmas is when they feel especially close to God. Knocking that isn't particularly Christian.

(Sorry, OP, not that it helps the dilemma.)

We have decided to stick to our original plan. Dn will join us on church then go to her gran's after for her pj's. don't think my dsis is impressed, but for once we are doing what our dc would like! As for church once a year, understand some people don't appreciate us once a year visitors. But I'm of the belief once a year is better than never, and at least dc are experiencing what Christmas is essentially about.
Merry Christmas all x

I am a regular (weekly) Church goer, very involved with things that go on there, and am quite surprised at the posters being cross with people who only come at Christmas. I look at it the other way - it's lovely that people who don't come throughout the year want to remember what Christmas is all about and join us at this special time of year.

Why can't your sister take DN pjs with her ?
Can't your DN pop in after santa ? If she is old enough to work I don't really see the issue.

Was anyone else picturing the OP strangling a turkey in the safety of the dark early evening?