To be annoyed with DB for not telling me about change of plans

[sooperdooper]

We arranged what we were doing for Christmas ages ago, me and DH said we'd quite like a quiet one (no dcs), my DB and SIL invited my parents for Christmas day, so we booked ourselves dinner out (pre-paid)

We saw my parents at the weekend and turns out DB & SIL have changed their plans, are going to her sisters, my parents now not invited! Mum only told me on sat because she didnt want a fuss, but now they'll be on their own :(

Our dinner is prepaid and they're fully booked so we can't add them to our booking, and they live quite far away so we can't go and see them later in the day

AIBU to think someone should've mentioned this earlier, we could've changed plans and gone to them had we known before the date our meal had to be confirmed :(

I understand why you feel sad but at least they have each other? they won't be alone. Could you go and see them on Boxing Day?

I don't think your brother had any obligation to tell you seeing as you were never in loved in their plans for the day even before they changed it, but they have been very rude to your parents.

How long ago did your parents know that they were uninvited? I understand you feeling bad for them, I would too, but they are adults and if they knew a while ago then they had time to rearrange things for themselves.

This would really annoy me too. How inconsiderate and selfish of your DB to now leave your parents on their own. But there isn't much you can do about it now. So I agree just go and see them on Boxing Day.

unless your parents are infirm and can't cook then that is different but if not then they are grown ups maybe they will enjoy being on their own you could go round boxing day to see them your brother and sister in law was bloody rude though and I would tell him that

Yeah I know they'll be together and can still have a nice day I just think its bloody rude to uninvite your parents for Christmas just because you get a better offer!!

Don't feel guilty it isn't your fault yes it is rude and selfish of them to go this , MY Bil used to do this to his mum all the time when she was alive it used to drive my husband up the wall, bil is a selfish git anyway

Do you know why your brother changed his plans? Is there something going on with his wife's sister that means they want to be together for Christmas?

I'm just thinking you only have your mum's version of what has gone on.

I have learnt in my family to always wait and hear the 'other side!'

Can you chat to sis/bro and ask if there's any chance they could be invited?

Have your patents got any friends in the same predicament that they could invite over?

I would be irritated at DB/SIL for being so selfish as to uninvite the parents just because it now suits them. But
as previous posters have said they probably didn't see why you would need to know as you weren't directly involved in the day. Your parents probably didn't want
to impose on your plans once they were uninvited.

I would probably give DB a right earful though and see if parents can possibly be included in their plans. There's still enough time to get a bit of extra food arranged and if everyone pitches in, 2 more people shouldn't be a massive issue?

Personally I think ts awful changing plans so you leave your parents with no company on Xmas day. That's what Xmas is all about, being with family. Your poor mum and dad, and shame on your db and SIL (assuming ths had simply happened as they had a better offer)

I wouldn't leave my mum and dad alone, and would either invite them/or go to theirs. Would mean losing out on the cost if your meal which I know is expensive on Xmas day, and lots of last minute shopping/making do, but I couldn't leave them alone. Family is the most Important thing for me at Xmas.

I wouldn't tell my mum and dad about the expense, but would make sure to guilt trip casually mention it to my brother how much it cost you making sure your parents were considered at Xmas, and how it could have been avoided if you'd known earlier/he hadn't had a better offer.

My parents are on their own this year despite having at least two offers. It's what they want to do.

I'm feeling quite jealous at the moment. A small part of me would love to spend the day with just my husband, eating whatever we like (my parents are having gammon) and slobbing around, rather than waiting hand and foot on guests.

Perhaps your parents feel the same way.