I have spent most of the night tossing and turning, mainly because I am angry that when I have tried to explain why I want no contact with my brother and why I reported him, why I feel that by continuing to invite him to events, knowing I cannot go if he is there, and he is invited to every single event, because it's not right to leave him out, the response from my sister and mum is 'I wasn't there' or 'I didn't see what happened.'
They appear to be so desperate to fix the problem and they resort to the same solution every time which is to minimise and sweep under the carpet. It is very hurtful to be assaulted and then for your own mother and sister to say 'I am not taking sides, I didn't actually see what happened so I cannot judge the situation.'
It makes me feel as though they don't trust me.
I only know if a friend or a relative told me they had been assaulted or mistreated or attacked, my last response would be 'Well, I'm not going to make any kind of stand against them or do anything other than remain neutral to you both because I wasn't there, and I didn't see it.'
I understand the desire to sit on the fence, but my brother now avoids me like the plague, which is fine. If I walk in, he walks out if he hasn't managed to walk out before I arrived. This is fine, but I am sad that my children and I, having spent every Christmas visiting relatives over the Christmas period, are now, for the first time spending Christmas alone, because my brother and mum have been invited to Christmas lunch at my sisters, therefore I have not.
My sister invited my brother, although god only knows why she wants him around her children after what he did to me, again it's not that important or she doesn't believe me, not sure which, and although I have invited my mum to have Christmas dinner with me and my children, because mum says she doesn't want to go to my sisters and leave me alone on Christmas day, mum has declined and said she would rather sit in her house alone on Christmas day so she is free to go where she wants for as long as she wants on Christmas day and I think I know where my mum will end up. She will end up at my sisters, with the whole family.
Apparently this is called 'not getting involved, and remaining neutral' It sure doesn't feel that way to me.
Happy Christmas everyone. I think I would prefer to be alone than join in this farce. I know that if any of my children were ever assaulted or attacked by anyone, I would not reserve judgement or support just because I did not see what happened. I would trust my child and support them. I would not invite their assaulter or attacker into my home again, even if the assaulter was another one of my children.
AFA my family is concerned, this is the wrong attitude to take. Maybe it is, but I would never want my children to feel the way I do. It's little wonder the men in my family see it as such a petty thing to behave this way when the women turn a blind eye to it whilst proclaiming loudly that they think it's wrong. Actions speaks louder than words doesn't it?
There's none so blind as those who cannot see. 