To not want to stay at our friends house because they live like students...?

[K8eee]

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and haven't been looking forward to Xmas and new year mostly because I want to stay at home and have all my comforts and own bed. Anyway, we're visiting my parents and the in laws but dh has some friends we can stay with who live not far from dss when we pick him up (dss lives 4 hours away) so in the past dh has stayed there on his own on a flying visit to pick up dss, but because we're going to the in laws once we've picked dss up, obviously I have to go too. It's a shame as they're really lovely people, but live like bloody animals and their house is a state. AIBU to want to stay in a hotel or b&b for two nights just so I can be comfortable? Or am I being a snob...?

No, not U to want to stay somewhere nice.

Presumably you can afford to pay for an alternate place to stay, so do it if that is what you prefer.

YAB a bit U to think that you will be able to easily find a B&B or hotel this late.

YANBU to want to stay somewhere clean and restful.

Just don't stay then. You're pg and it's Christmas, just say to DH you want to get back up the road with DSS.

when you say 'live like animals' what do you mean? Give examples.

If you can afford it, say you'd like a treat and book it. If you can't, you'll have to put up with the free accommodation!

YANBU but you'll need to book somewhere else pronto. Why not research it and see how much it costs so you can present DH with a fait accompli. Oh but btw a cheap B&B may not be much better, dependant on what the actual issues are with these people.

I remember when pregnant DH insisted we stay at BILs as he would be upset otherwise. Not as upset as I was when we got there ( BIL at work) and the entire house stunk of his cigars - he doesn't believe in opening windows or cleaning. I was hypersensitive to smells at the time. The icing on the cake was went I went to the bathroom to be sick and that's where his ashtray was .

We stayed one night - I got up at 5am and sat in the car as couldn't cope with the smell any longer, it permeated through everything. (NB I did get back to the house before BIL woke up so as not to be rude). We stayed in a Travel Lodge on the second night .

Try Premier Inn. It might be too late now but they do cheap rooms over Christmas and New Year.

Maybe they have done the same a me and cleaned up for Christmas.

Ok this is what there house is like cleanliness wise:

• as soon as you walk in the front door you're hit in the face with the aroma of a cat litter tray & cat food
• the floor is covered in dirt and food in the kitchen & living room
• there's not a clear work surface in sight in the kitchen; they're all covered in crumbs, off cuts of bread & food
• the shower curtain in the bathroom is rank; it looks like someone has peed on it daily and not bothered washing it. When it's dry before showering the stain has made the curtain all crispy and it just about covers the width of the bath at the bottom
• they let the cat sleep on the guest bed I love pets but never would I let one sleep on a bed

Try and book a hotel. If they ask why, say you will want to go to bed early and didn't want to stop them having a good night!

YABU for not making it a policy that you will not stay at this abode ever under any circumstances, pregnant or not. Your DH shouldn't have even mooted it.

I wouldn't consider staying with all that cat mess everywhere and certainly would not eat or drink there,you are pregnant for gods sake and could catch anything,get on to a Travel Lodge asap and try and get booked in,my DGS is in student accom and his place is pristine (well almost)

You're mot talking about me are you? In my defence composcat is a prolific shitter.

I think the cats may help you here. Find a link about the dangers of toxoplasmosis in pregnancy, show him and watch him book a premier inn sharpish.

Sounds like you are talking about my SIL and BIL's house. When we visit them we are lucky if we are able to get a seat with all the rubbish they dump on it.

Mils is similar. But slightly cleaner. And with a yappy dog which has shed hair everywhere including the guest beds. And out of date food in the cupboards.

I cannot stand it. If you put anything down it's like a game of where's Wally to spot it again amongst the sea of crap.

It makes me stressed and uncomfortable to spend time there. It's utterly depressing and claustrophobic. I suggested it might make things easier for her if we checked into the nearby premier inn on our next visit and she got the right hump.

I'm so glad I'm not being OCD. The thing is we're meant I be going out with them for one of their birthdays but I'm tempted to use the old pregnancy sickness and restlessness as an excuse to them so I don't feel so bad. When they came to stay at our house they joked that I'm a snob I wouldn't say I'm a snob, I just have bloody standards!

I know the chances are low, but can you catch toxamaplosis just from being in a house with a litter tray?

I'm pretty sure you have to have direct contact with the poo, and the cat has to be carrying the disease. Still, DH doesn't need to know the details...

No YANBU at all. I have old friends who we now visit rarely because of the state of their house (think hoarders meets life of grime). Although I don't think our friendship has been the same since DD1 when just potty trained took one look at their loo and - very loudly - announced 'I'm not sitting on that it's disgusting'..... and I have never taken either DD's to my dad's as it makes these friends house look clean and cared for. and I am really not someone with high standards!

Pretty sure you have to have close contact with faeces to catch toxoplasmosis, but I'd still use it as my excuse.

No way are you being even the slightest bit unreasonable. When your DC comes along you'll forever have an excuse to never set foot there again. Yippee!