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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder if the poo talk will ever stop?

31 replies

Freddiefrog · 23/12/2013 09:45

It's driving me mad!

I have an 8 year old daughter. Every other word seems to be poo, with some willies, bum and wee thrown in for good measure.

Drawing willies on everything is highly hilarious apparently Hmm

She's currently singing Last Christmas with alternative lyrics - 'last Christmas I went for a poo.....' etc

I don't mind a little bit but it's getting beyond a joke now. Fortunately she doesn't do it at school, these delightful conversations seem to be reserved for home, but still, I would like to have a conversation with her that doesn't include the word willy, poo or bum (or go out in the car without her drawing willies on the steamed up windows)

I ignore it, I tell her off, I refuse to engage in her conversation until she repeats it without the offending words, I even resorted to a sticker chart if she managed to get through a day without the toilet talk but nothing

Will it pass? Her older sister never really did toilet talk

OP posts:
QuacksForDoughnuts · 23/12/2013 09:59

Encourage it. Join in enthusiastically. Buy her a plastic turd for Christmas. She'll get bored quickly if it doesn't seem 'naughty'.

Gossipmonster · 23/12/2013 10:01

My OH is 38 and is in the Navy, they draw willies on everything apparently Hmm.

mrsjay · 23/12/2013 10:03

my husband thinks farts are hilarious and my dd who is nearly 21 Burps and giggles Xmas Angry tbh i would just ignore her or join in with the poo song she will be so shocked she should stop because you are mumm and mums are not funny

Jinglebellsforthebetter · 23/12/2013 10:04

I feel your pain WineWineWineWine

Have you had the alternative Jingle Bells involving Uncle Billy and his willy? Hmm

Pass the Wine

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 23/12/2013 10:07

That jingle bells song is driving me nuts.

I would join in, they seem to get bored of it once it's no longer naughty

WilsonFrickett · 23/12/2013 10:09

Joining for handholding. It's driving me insane. He's currently sitting downstairs singing nativity songs inserting 'poo' 'bum' or 'fart' at every possible opportunity. Three wise bums are following a yonder poo...

Fairylea · 23/12/2013 10:11

My dh is just as bad. He has drawn a willy on the steamed up bathroom mirror, which dd thinks is hilarious (she is 10). I can't get the bloody thing to go away despite several cleanings!

Argghh.

mrsjay · 23/12/2013 10:13

Three wise bums are following a yonder poo...

Grin I obviously have the humour of a small boy

tinselkitty · 23/12/2013 10:13

I agree with PP, join in, laugh, out do her, construct as many sentences that make some sense with poo, willy and fart in.

As soon as it's not naughty shell give up.

I do this as much as possible with my Y5's. Or drop a random poo or fart into conversation.

Btw, my DH is a police officer, they take any opportunity to draw willies in each other's pocket books which have to be submitted to court for evidence quite often whenever they can get hold of them!

Original poster
Freddiefrog · 23/12/2013 10:14

See, I wouldn't mind if it was a few poo songs but it's constant

So far today - bearing in mind she's only been up an hour

Me - what do you want for breakfast?
DD - coco poos

DD (handing me an orange) can you peel my poo?

DD - can I have a drink
Me - what would you like
DD - apple poo-ce (I was quite impressed with her word play on that one)

Interspersed with Last Christmas I went for a poo on a loop

Will have to try and come up with my own poo song Grin

OP posts:
curlew · 23/12/2013 10:16

My dd goes to a 6th form in a boy's school. The boys still draw willies on the books and rewrite the poems they are studying to include rude words.......

Original poster
Freddiefrog · 23/12/2013 10:17

Yes, we have the Jingle Bells with Uncle Billy's willy quite often

She was in the choir before she broke up from school, I think she was on a bet to see how many poo/willies/bumnshe could squeeze into Away in a Manger

And we have a massive willy on her window in the back of the car. It reappears every time the window steams up no matter what I do the flipping thing won't go

OP posts:
QuacksForDoughnuts · 23/12/2013 10:18

Follow her around with this:
It's a poo, it's a poo, and it ISN'T IN THE LOO
It's on the floor, on the floor, behind the bathroom door
Was it a dog or a frog, couldn't make it to the bog
Or was it you, WAS IT YOU, who did that misplaced poo?
The combination of poo, annoying tune (because you can't fit it to any tune that isn't annoying) and occasional raising of voice should put her off.

Kleptronic · 23/12/2013 10:20

My 9 year old's the same; I join in with extreme giddiness and that seems to curb his enthusiasm a bit.

Original poster
Freddiefrog · 23/12/2013 10:34

Ok, so in a bid to add a bit of variety to the much repeated Last Christmas I went for a poo, I've added the lines

and the very next day I flushed it away
This year, to save me from diarohhea

And am now stuck Grin

OP posts:
ViviPru · 23/12/2013 10:36

Sorry, OP. But
last Christmas I went for a poo.....
Is genius and hilarious in equal measure.

DaddyPigsMistress · 23/12/2013 10:39

i borrowed my dads address book to do the christmas cards and the back page was covered in doodles. Lots if willies and swear words in speech bubbles

He's 58 this year

WilsonFrickett · 23/12/2013 10:51

No, no, no, it's

Last Christmas I gave you my fart
But the very next day the smell went away
This year, to keep the smell near,
I'll give you some poo inste-ed.

ChatNicknameUnavailable · 23/12/2013 11:02

I have 2 ds's, 3 and 5. Ds1 has recently discovered the joys of toilet talk and thinks any joke he tells with a naughty word in is automatically funny.

'Hey mum, why did the chicken cross the road?'
Because he needed a POO!

'Hey mum why has the giraffe got such a long neck?'
So he can't smell his POO!!

And so on...

I also get requests for poo on a plate for dinner, with wee-wee sauce over it. And he's told me that I've got poo all over the back of my dress once, making me panic and rush upstairs to look (at a family party) which he thought was hilarious.

ChatNicknameUnavailable · 23/12/2013 11:04

However, it's still at the acceptable end of rudeness so I put up with it.

Much better than when ds2 yelled out in the car 'You dickhead!' last week, perfectly in context when someone cut me up Blush

MillyStar · 23/12/2013 11:08

This thread really made me giggle Xmas Grin

I can't stop singing last christmas i went for a poo now

feesh · 23/12/2013 11:11

Am I the only one who finds all these under 10s drawing willies quite shocking?! I didn't even know what a willy looked like at that age!

stubbs0412 · 23/12/2013 11:12

This is so funny , join in tho & get used it, my 14 year still does it!!!! Aunty ruby lost her booby on the motorway.... To the tune of jingle bells is a constant ATM.

stubbs0412 · 23/12/2013 11:14

Feesh I agree I wouldn't like the willies drawn ...anywhere! Poo bum fart is ok
Booby is unavoidable .... I'm bf .... V discreetly .

Original poster
Freddiefrog · 23/12/2013 11:20

Milly me neither. I have it going round and round in my head

We get
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin flew away
Uncle Billy waves his 10 foot willy on the M1 motorway-hey

To the tune of Jingle Bells

OP posts:
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