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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why bother asking what to buy for Christmas...

40 replies

BerniceBroadside · 22/12/2013 21:27

If you're going to completely ignore it?

Mil has dropped off some presents today. Had a sneaky peek. At the risk of sounding completely ungrateful, she's wasted her cash. Again.

She'd asked for and I'd given several ideas for dc, including things that ranged from a couple of quid to £25, if she just wanted to buy a bigger item. Things like giant tube of smarties, slipper socks, Guess Who etc. Much wanted items.

Instead we have a DVD dc already has ( had suggested several), summer clothing that probably won't fit by the summer and more bubble bath, even though she knows dc can't use most types.

I know I can be a bugger to buy for, as I don't really want much. Suggested I'd be happy with a book token, or some chocolates, as well as a couple of other ideas such as nail polish and fluffy socks. Nothing expensive or hard to source.

I've got a t shirt. A glitzy one. With applicae (sp?) bits. Think bonne marche except that I don't know where it's from so I can't return it. It would look cracking on a pensioners trip to Whitby.

It's not lack of time or money (retired on a decent pension). It's just so wasteful. In fact it's the waste that really, really annoys me as gift receipts are never provided and asking to have one even to swap an item for a bigger size doesn't go down at all well.

Still, at least it's not a teddy bear ornament this year. Or a necklace with someone else's birthstone.

OP posts:
BerniceBroadside · 22/12/2013 22:48

Argh! Clearly it runs in the bloody family. Just wrapped some presents. Out of the four things oh said he'd pick up, three are not quite what I asked him to get.

Not because they didn't have what I asked him to get either. He can't explain why. Oh well, he'll have to waste his lunch hour tomorrow swapping the two duplicates.

OP posts:
Freddiefrog · 22/12/2013 22:53

We've spoken to MiL several times about the waste of money but it falls on deaf ears.

She hassles almost weekly for 4 months about what to buy for Christmas, then completely ignores everything we suggest

She buys her own thing, which is fine but why keep bloody asking and is then massively offended when we already have the stuff. I don't its unreasonable, nor does it make my girls spoilt, for having swings in the garden, or a winter coat before December the 25th, or a DVD player in their bedroom, or whatever she's set her sights on buying that particular year.

I hate the arguments and sulking, I hate the girls' disappointment and I hate the waste of money. Every year. No idea what to do about it though

MudCity · 22/12/2013 23:12

I do sympathise. The same happens here...generally, a whole load of stuff from Poundland which we don't have room for. It seems that some people feel that buying ten presents for £10 is a whole lot better than buying one present the person really wants.

However, even that is better than what happens to a friend of mine. Her family buy themselves what they want, invoice her for the amount and then give them to her to wrap up.

Full of the Christmas spirit!

Idespair · 22/12/2013 23:25

Op, take the whole lot to the charity shop ASAP and think of it as a Christmas donation. T is frustrating that she's wasted her money but the easiest way to forget about it is to get rid of the stuff so you aren't constantly reminded of it.

FandangoLaLaLaLaLaLaLaaaa · 22/12/2013 23:47

Ilovemydog she is queen of the passive aggressive statement and unbelievably forgetful so I think it's sometimes done to piss you off and sometimes she just remembers "Blah, blah, blah, experience voucher". Grin

She does buy lovely surprises though and totally spoils me usually as she only has boys!

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 22/12/2013 23:52

Oh well that's alright then. Xmas Grin

AdmiralData · 23/12/2013 00:22

My Nan-in-Law treats me like a grand daughter bless her. I can't use most bath bubbly things and I fucking hate bath sets BUT she buys them every year and I see it coming and I act completely amazed because she looks awfully happy when I unwrap them and it'd kill me to hurt her. I am a total ponce.

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 23/12/2013 07:11

YANBU

Suddengeekgirl · 23/12/2013 07:20

My MIL does it too.

This year she asked for a list of ideas for the dc. Then went down the list saying "I don't want to buy that" "I don't like that" etc.
I have no idea what she will have bought but if previous birthdays/ Christmases are an indicator it will e something the dc don't want/ like or something too young for them or tat of some sort or something that doesn't fit. Hmm

As long as she doesn't demand that the dc play with it inmediately I will be happy and smuggle it to the charity shop in January

poocatcherchampion · 23/12/2013 08:02

my mother does this it is sooo annoying and made me cry last week on my birthday. Ive resolved to lower my expectations.

Ive lost loads of weight in the last few months (tandem bf and 2 littleys) and am wearing borrowed jeans as my wardrobe hasn't kept up. my birthday was last Thursday so I tried on in the shop and then sent over a link for some jeans from a high Street store also local to her, when she asked what I wanted. I also said I was desperate for some long sleeved t shirts for everyday. (they know we are short of money as on mat leave and we already owe them some from a house move)

she got me the jeans in extra long length and a smart going out top.

im 5.2 as is she. she sent a text after saying I could take them up. .. uh when then? Christmas eve? and I can't anyway because the whole leg I'd cut for longer length. and anyway I still need some long sleeve tops, not smart top for once in a while.

why ask? and why do I end up feeling bad about it?

Stropzilla · 23/12/2013 08:18

OHHH my dad has done it this year AGAIN! I have a hobby gifts ranging from 2.50 to 300 quid. He's spent money that will be utterly wasted on clothes from a shop I don't use in a size too fucking small for me. He does this no matter what I ask for or what clothes size I am.

Madamecastafiore · 23/12/2013 08:21

I feel your pain.
MIL seems to think lots of cheap, crappy presents are preferable to one decent present that will be played with!
My DCs (well the ones that understand Christmas) would rather a voucher as they not bothered about loads of presents to unwrap, especially if full of nothing they want !

Grumblelion · 23/12/2013 08:36

My DH has the same from his parents and apparently always has. We've found the best way round it is for him to buy something sensible that he needs like a coat or some shirts and just ask for money towards that, then offer to let them wrap it for birthday/Christmas. He can then use his money to get something he really wanted rather than practical things he would had to have bought at some stage anyway.

Itsallabout · 23/12/2013 08:41

I have 2 Mil that do this.

One just never asks what Dd would like or needs and then gets her gifts we already have or are not age appropriate. We cannot return as we live overseas.

The other Mil sends things from charity shops like a witches mask that lights up (complete with cat hair). This year she bought Dd a day experience at a donkey sanctuary that Mil will be doing but sent Dd the brochure to look at and see what she will be missing

CinnamonPorridge · 23/12/2013 08:45

Thankfully, both grandmas send money, so we buy stuff and put it under the tree for them. To avoid masses of postage paid.
But also to avoid really crappy presents.
My mum visited a few weeks ago and brought my 4 yo a mobile phone case.

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