was IBU intervening in an argument outside my house

[keepyourfuckingnoseout]

Name changes as good chance of being recognised.

On Thursday night I could hear through the wall of my living room, my neighbours DD BF was screaming at her. Really ranting and raving for about half an hour.

My neighbours are mother and daughter. They both have learning difficulties. Regularly they will have huge bust ups between them selves but once out on the street they don't talk to any one, but will often shout at one another over the road. DD walks around with her hood up even in summer. Some neighbourhood kids torment them, which I shooed of a few times.

The DD (around 18/19) 'D' f is banned from visiting the house.

I felt really sorry for the DD and DM as it seemed they had traded in one abusive man for another. It was horrible to listen to. I promised my self if that happens again I'm going to phone the police.

Fast forward today - I heard arguing out side my garden as I was walking through hall, so I opened door at it was neighbours DD and BF. He was shouting right in her face.

So I said '' Stop what your doing, I heard you the other night. You shouldn't talk to her like that!''

SHE then spun round and shouted '' keep your fucking nose out, you slag, I'll smash your fucking windows!''

I was stood, rooted to the spot in SHOCK

My DH had come to the door to see what was going on and she shouted to him, " tell your missis to get in the tramp!"

She then ran in the house and her BF then apologised to my DH who was as shocked as I was.

I'm STILL speechless a few hours on...

I cant exactly go talk to her about it as I don't think it will register what she has done or behaved like.

DH has told me to forget about it - if it would have been any one else i probably would have chinned her!

sat here quietly seething though.

No ywbu - it may make him think twice.

Her response may have in part been due to her LD's - you intervened during an emotional moment (not saying that was wrong) & you ended up bring the target for her anger. If she has LD's she may well be more impulsive.

I would forget it. and not hold it against her. But you were right to intervene.

Ye. You were right to intervene. The family seems to need an overseer and thank goodness there are people like yourself about.

Thanks you two the bitter taste is fading a little!

Funnily enough I was drinking Baileys when you typed the response Keep...

try not to feel bitter - you were a " safe " target in an emotionally charged moment, if she doesn't typically speak to you in that way I'd try to let it go.

I don't think you should've got involved really, if they're having an argument it's their own business, but she was being very, very unreasonable with that aggressive response back at the same time.

You quite often find this. The person being abused turns on someone who tries to help them.
In all honesty when i was younger i used to think well fuck them clearly they deserve what they get.
But with age comes wisdom (a bit, anyway ) and ive come to understand its a combination of fear, embarrassment, shock and a reaction to their own feelings of powerlessness. They dont feel they can round on their abuser so they redirect their rage and hurt etc at the person who intervenes.
I may be totally wrong, it's just how it seems to me.

YABU, because it doesn't really help and you are more likely to get yourself in trouble. MY DH intervened when the crazy alcoholic woman ndn was having a full on fight with her crazy drugdealer boyfriend on the steps outside our doors. They both turned on him, and SHE was the one trying to kick him, even though my DH was trying to help her. Anything could have happened,as it was, my DH was more injured than either of them.

If you think someone needs to intervene, call the police.

Being under the influence of alcohol and drugs is different to having special needs AnnabelleLee

The OP was right to get involved.

Its a hard call knowing when to intervene in situations like this.

I witnessed a girl of about 20 being punched full force in the face by a lad of the same age.
I went over to see if she was ok, she then turned on me gave me a good hiding, a suspected broken nose and pulled out half my hair!!

Ended up in A&E!!

So for this reason I kind of take a step back unless its someone I know really well. Dh has told me I must never put myself in that position again as she could have easily had a concealed weapon and it could have turned out so much worse than a wonky nose!!

You just don't know how others are going to react when emotions are running high.
So it is a risk you take.

People can be complete assholes irrespective of any other influences. And I disagree with you.
What is with people on here acting as if their opinion is fact? I say wrong,you say right. It's just opinion.

...and I gave my opinion. As did you.

Wonder if someone will intervene on this one AnnabelleLee? Merry Christmas X

I agree with Annabelle, It doesn't matter whether the people involved are high on drink/drugs or completely sober. Or the fact that they my have LD or not.

If you don't know the person you cannot judge how they will react in a situation like this. Emotions are high, adrenaline is pumping and they may just react in the moment and do something out of character or may be an aggressive person in general.

You just don't know what you are going to be faced with if you speak out. The person might be grateful for having someone intervene or they might turn on you and tell you where to go.

Like I said it's a risk you take.