Telling the IL's to go stuff themselves?

[thezoo]

Firstly i know we are very lucky to be in this situation in the first place but AIBU?

We rent off my DP's parents/soon to be IL's
Its a ground floor flat lots of garden 2 bed and a garage but inside its not big the only storage inside is 2 tiny under-stairs areas (stairs from the upstairs flat) and we are allowed our "zoo" which many rented properties wouldn't allow

My SIL and her DP have half of our garage for storage (not our choice) on the say so of IL's yet they have their own 3 bed house with attic, shed and lots of shed-like storage space (you could fit our whole flat in their downstairs)

We have a little one due in 3 months and have nowhere to store bits and bobs her room is full to bursting and we haven't gone mad buying baby bits and cant fit any baby things in the living room unless we put some of our bits in the garage which we are happy to do

But

unless the SIL moves their stuff out of the garage we cant fit our stuff in so we asked FIL about getting the stuff shifted out of the garage within the next month so we can fit baby bouncer etc in the living room and his response was " well WE said they could" (IL's also have lots of storage space etc don't see why SIL cant use theirs)

do i point out we pay the rent AND have little one on the way so need the space

OR

do i shut up and be thankful and hope to hell and back our application for council housing goes through (don't think it will)

OR

do i go straight to SIL and tell her our problem, she would move the stuff no problem but then tell the IL's which would cause them to have a go at me, not DP

I understand your PIL being uncomfortable to go back on their word to your SIL. Go straight to SIL if she is understanding, get her to move the stuff and explain situation/ask her to tell PIL it was her idea. Or not mention it at all.
Or, if you can afford it, get a decent/metal storage shed in the garden.

Ask your dpi to speak to your SIL directly.

I would ask your DP to speak to his parents about storage and if not him speak to his sister and under NO circumstances are they allowed to have a go at his pregnant partner.

Its just stuff and storage space....you have a real life human on the way......

With in laws, it's always best to let your partner deal with it.

Id love to get DP to speak to IL's or Sil but as much as i love him when dealing with his family he hasn't got a spine he gets pushed over buy them at every turn

We moved 2 tonnes of logs for SIL and her DP 2 weeks ago me being at the time 5 months pregnant and my DP has a badly damaged shoulder all because her DP didn't want to and had gone out leaving them on the drive (SIL and her DP are fitness fanatic's) and in 3 years i haven't spent a Valentines alone with DP due to MIL getting him to do school events for her

Probably just outed myself but don't think i care at this point i know that IL's don't much care for me . . . i speak my mind and stand up for myself never mind :)

Can you move?

this

Quite honestly, if you can't fit your belongings in to the property that you have, then you have too much stuff.

I think it should be your DH dealing with this. It depends what was agreed when you first rented the flat. Do you pay less rent than they could get on the open market? If so then they are doing you a favour so it would be awkward to confront them.

Wow it doesn't sound as though you stand up for yourself, you were moving logs around at 5 months pregnant for your lazy as inlaws, why didn't you just leave them on the drive, they weren't your problem and if some got nicked then that will teach the lazy gits to shift them sharpish next time.

You are paying rent for that space so get them to move their stuff, if they don't, then get a man with a van and move it onto their front garden yourselves.

ass

What you pay rent for is shared use of the garage. It doesn't entitle you suddenly to demand more than you originally agreed on.

DP is the key! He has to go to his parents and get it sorted.

MIL tried off loading her shit in ours and we own our friging house. Didnt notice at first... a lamp...microwave...curtains....large picture..the odd bin bag of clothes.

I just dropped it off round her BFs and drove off.

Also OP you need to get DP used to fighting your corner if your becoming a new family. Nip being pushed around by the inlaws in the bud.

I struggled with MIL at the beginning till i made DH choose!

Are you getting a discount on the rent compared to what you'd pay a commercial landlord?

Use your husbands phone to text Sister and tell him after. Can be a light hearted nice text 'hiya, have bought lots if baby things and need to move stuff into garage to create space in lounge for them. Any chance you could remove garage boxes. I'm happy to help of course'

Just answering the questions that came up

Yes we pay market value for the flat and its heavily insured by us as well just in case anything ever happens and no we don't have the option to move unfortunately private rents won't take our pets and getting rid of them isn't an option as they work similar to service animals for me without going into too much detail about my health situation

we've also spent a lot doing the flat up so that it is safe when baby arrives

The garage share was never part of the deal when we started renting the property it was only supposed to be short term when SIL moved house which we were very happy for and never would have said no to but the stuff has been there for over a year and we don't pay reduced rent because of it

DP asked me to back off with his family 2 years ago when after several smaller arguments i confronted FIL and had him yelling in my face and waving his arms about as if to strike me (apparently this is how FIL has always dealt with arguments) i stood my ground and yelled back but it didn't help that my dog protected me which is exactly what he is supposed to do and i don't want comments about the dog he did what every dog owner hopes for by protecting his owner from someone acting violently

DP may have an ultimatum coming soon if this isn't fixed

Contact your sil, job done

Woah so fil was aggressive towards you, your dog protected you because your dp is to spineless to and then your dp tells you to back off

I don't think your in laws are the biggest problem here

Tell your partner to man up and deal with them ffs! You're pregnant you don't need additional stress about where to put stuff. You could also have a little chat with your sil and remind her you will need a little more space for storage due to your baby arriving soon! If she runs to your inlaws then so what? Your baby is the most important one here

Sorry to sound harsh, but your problems sound like they are mainly of your own making. Too small a flat, with loads of animals and a baby on the way? You need to get rid of your animals so you can find somewhere more appropriate to live.

Why would you accept living under your PILs control in this way if they are unreasonable/shouty/threatening when you try to discuss anything?

Uh she has animals for health reasons so doubt she can just give them up!!

Go to SIL!

Your problem is your DP not the rest of his family.

Well that's the part I didn't understand. Do you mean you have a guide dog because you are partially sighted or hard of hearing? Surely that should mean the council will help you to get a council house where dogs are allowed?

You say a zoo..out of interest, how many animals do you have?