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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think if a soft play area has a large fantastic area for u3s they should be banned from the over 3 section

38 replies

Christmastightarse · 21/12/2013 08:14

Took my 8yo to a fantastic new play area yesterday that had thought about the areas the u3 section was half the place and had so much to do. Signs everywhere saying no one allowed over 3 in those parts. Brilliant.
But the other half of the play area was overrun with toddlers and crawling babies. We left after half an hour due to my ds getting fed up of the little ones under foot so he couldn't use the zip wire for example for fear of hurting them.

AIBU to suggest to the play place the same way they have banned over 3s from using half the play place that they should ban under 3s from using the other half?

OP posts:

IAmNotDarling · 21/12/2013 08:17

Banned?

Birdsgottafly · 21/12/2013 08:18

Yes they should ban them, older children shouldn't be restricted because baby's are in the way, likely to get hurt etc.

I used to hate it when toddlers were allowed to wander by the swings in playgrounds and so those on them had to stop, or kick them in the head, yet the parents got huffy when you complained.

clairemum22 · 21/12/2013 08:19

And if you have a 4 year old and a 2 year old do you leave your 4 year old unsupervised or not take them to soft play?

FamiliesShareGerms · 21/12/2013 08:19

YABU for going to soft play in the first place - do work of the devil, those things....

Original poster

Christmastightarse · 21/12/2013 08:19

Yes banned same way the over 3s are banned from the under 3s area

OP posts:

Original poster

Christmastightarse · 21/12/2013 08:21

There were no adults in the older area.

OP posts:

clairemum22 · 21/12/2013 08:21

And if you have a 4 year old and a 2 year old do you leave your 4 year old unsupervised or not take them to soft play?

Original poster

Christmastightarse · 21/12/2013 08:23

As said there were no adults in the older play area. Parents were either in seating area or u3s area.

OP posts:

clairemum22 · 21/12/2013 08:24

Sorry no idea why I posted twice. Didn't realise no adults in older area, then I agree. I thought it was so adults could watch the slightly older one.

lackingideas · 21/12/2013 08:28

To be honest I would have thought that the fact there were no adults in the older area was more of a problem. Surely if the under 3s were properly supervised there wouldn't be an issue. I think banning in school holidays would be OK but it shouldn't be necessary in term time.

steppemum · 21/12/2013 08:36

I think the simple way would be for a height restriction. Taller than this only. If it is new. it would only take a while before people got the hang of it.

We went to an amazing soft play in Holland where the older kids section was really good for 5 plus, with some 10 plus kids in there too. The little kids was upstairs, so you did have to leave the older ones to it, unless you were there with 2 adults, but it was great to have a place where older kids could actually play properly. No parent of a toddler would have let them in there, it was well established older kid territory if you see what I mean.

I know soft plays are all different in their layout, but the one near me has little kids one one side and older kids in the other, all visible from each other and large area of cafe seating from which you can see everywhere. Once mine were 3 ish, they just disappeared off into the jungle and I sat in the cafe, so I can't see the problem with letting your 4 year old go off and play.

I think that parents of babies and toddlers sometimes just haven't got older children yet and so don't realise what the issues are for older parents (we all get a bit focused on the age our own kids are) so they don't realise that older kids need some space without the babies.

RedHelenB · 21/12/2013 08:44

Depends - my ds is a climber daredevil & always wanted and coped with the next age level. But I agree that if toddlers get hurt then it is par for the course. BTW, older children should be more spatially aware!!

tallulah · 21/12/2013 08:53

You find this everywhere and it is really annoying. Longleat has a huge wooden castle playground and each piece of equipment is clearly signed. You check your height against a board and the smallest kids are monkeys, going up to Tigers and Rhinos. The main slides and aerial walkway are for the bigger kids - 6+ and each entrance says no adults. But the place is always overrun with large men and their tiny children (because the tinies can't manage without an adult).

Bigger children never get to use equipment designed for them in the way intended because of PFB toddlers

(and you will always get someone come on the thread and say my 2 yo wants to follow her siblings and is perfectly capable of climbing etc. That's not the point!)

scaevola · 21/12/2013 08:57

Yes, I knew a place with height restrictions - checked on way in. Tiny not allowed at all. A mid-size, allowed with adult. And the intended size, free access. And lots of signs pointing out that it was intended for the bigger children, and the need to supervise carefully any mid size ones, who may be added to leave if either a) the place got busy or b) they were not coping or playing appropriately given the intended age/use.

People with children if different ages will have to choose other venues that suit both. It's just as wrong to prevent older children using play equipment by having wrong age children in there, as it is to prevent u3s playing because older children are there.

You'll find that clubs, school events, cinemas etc are quite strict about this, so getting used to the idea that there is zero entitlement to attending things out of age group might be worth getting used to.

shushpenfold · 21/12/2013 08:59

Red - I think you'll find that the older children are specially aware….it's exceedingly annoying however to have to wait for 3 times the usual time for little ones to have moved from or across a play area that should only take a fraction of the time with longer and more developed legs…at this point, the older ones just try to work around them.

NoComet · 21/12/2013 09:00

Like redhelenB, DD1 was a total dare devil, she wouldn't stay in the baby area.

However, she seemed instinctively aware that meant no complaining about larger people.

She got a beautiful black eye once and was utterly not bothered.

Although I can see your point if the soft play has a big and adventurous under 3 area, non of ours do.

The opposite is also a problem as older DCs often end up in the baby area to see siblings and parents.

I guess the only answer is for children to play nicely and parents to exercise common sense, especially with very mixed ages in school holidays.

Unfortunately, I haven't seen any flying pigs.

TaurielTest · 21/12/2013 09:00

Ours has a baby section (no over 2s), an under 5s section, and a 3-12 section. I can see this from both ends - my intrepid DS2 has gone straight for the big section since he was 2, and my more cautious DS1 (5) still likes some things in the under 5s section.
I agree with lackingideas that the littlies being properly looked after by the adults who've brought them would make a lot of this go away...

I see the point of height restrictions but IMO, where they're not to do with safety (e.g. on a ride with restraints) but rather a rough-and-ready age limiter, this really isn't fair on short children like my DS1.

scaevola · 21/12/2013 09:10

The other solutions for parents to realise that it's a community, and not spoil the community of bigger ones because their little one is so special.

That is achievable.

Just depends on how you (instinctively) see the community and the enjoyment of all as less important that the entitlement if your little one to go in and change he community to less enjoyable for every single older one.

steppemum · 21/12/2013 09:28

The thing is, as I said we tend to view the world through the age of our kids (and I am guilty of this too)

So when ds was 2 he was tall and very physical and went straight for older kids sections and (provided he wasn't in the way) I watched and thought how lovely it is that he can climb up to that tall slide etc. I possibly completely didn't get that fact that there may have been an 8 year old patiently waiting (even though ds was fast and I like to think I am socially aware!)

Now ds is 11 I am very aware how few venues there are for that age and would love to see a soft play place designed for older kids and policed so that they can have free reign.

If you do not yet have an 8 year old/11 year old, you just don't get how different it would be if they were allowed to play properly, you just don't notice how much they are having to hold back for the toddlers.

Of course they should all play nicely together, but actually in this context that means they should all play at the level of the youngest. So when are the needs of the oldest taken into account?

scaevola · 21/12/2013 09:33

Well said, steppemum

Tailtwister · 21/12/2013 09:38

YANBU in theory. It makes sense to keep the age groups apart from a safety point of view, especially with the babies and young toddlers.

I'm very strict with my 2 that they don't go into the areas where they are over the age limit. The problem is when you have siblings who are a bit older (mine are 3.5 and 5). If the cut off for the older area is 4, then it's practically impossible to keep the 3.5yo from following his brother.

I think if you're going to have an underage child going into the older area you need to accept the older ones are going to charge about and it's not their job to look out for your child.

SilverApples · 21/12/2013 09:39

I was witness to an interesting protest by Y6 at one school. The entire playground was set up along the lines of 'Everyone should play nicely with each other' 'Watch out for the little ones' Older children were reprimanded if the younger ones were knocked over.
Y6 wanted different playtimes for the older children, or an area that was just for fast, hard games or football. The snuggly-wuggly head said no.
So they spent every playtime for a week walking around the perimeter of the playground, chanting 'walk, walk, walk' They organised a petition to the governors.
They got their designated area for activities that let them have an equally enjoyable playtime, without constantly being scolded.
Many teenagers have the same problems. Too old for the available playgrounds, nothing else on offer that's free.

Heartbrokenmum73 · 21/12/2013 09:56

Jesus, yes, someone please sort out crawling babies, toddling toddlers and huge fucking troll-sized men in the older children's play sections!

My three are 12, 8 and 5, so all old enough for the big section in most places. I make a big deal of keeping them out of the baby and toddler sections because they might hurt someone smaller, so why do some people think babies should be crawling around and tripping other kids up in the older area?

And as for the hands-on Dad's: while it's wonderful that you want to follow your baby/toddler around, can you not do it in the appropriate area, rather than crawling along in the older section, holding everyone up and getting arsey with older kids when they come within a five mile radius of your PFB.

And yes, I have seen that happen - and from Mum's too!

CranberrySaucyJack · 21/12/2013 10:24

YANBU. It's bloody selfish.

It particularly grates when PFB parents glare at my really rather small and wimpy for her age 7 year old like she's the Antichrist because she's daring to move at a pace of more than 2 cm an hour inthe older kids section.

I take mine to those places to let off a bit off steam. If I'd wanted them to sit and play quietly- I'd have stayed at home and saved myself the fifteen odd quid.

steppemum · 21/12/2013 14:43

I love that playground protest!

We have a section of the playground put aside for football, for the year 6 kids, it works well, but the shape of the playground does male it easy.

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