Re DP giving gift to undeserving colleagues

[affenberg]

DP works in high pressure environment and has consistently received above average grades in performance reviews for the last few years.

However this year the feedback from their team has been less than favourable which had led to a reduced grade and bonus.

I don't know any of their team personally, but over the last few months my DP has been telling me about a troublemaker in the team that has been causing issues within the team. I suspect that this person may have been turning the team against my DP, although I have no evidence of this. However the fact is that many of them have provided negative feedback to DP's boss.

I have told DP they are playing up, but DP has a history of downplaying things and naively seeing only good in people.

DP wants to buy a gift for the team e.g. Box of chocs. I think that DP should not buy them anything, as they are being disloyal. Even if DP has failed somehow (and I doubt it as v. Hardworking and conciencious) they don't deserve a gift.

AIBU?

That should just be boss, not bad boss. Not sure where that came from.

If he usually buys gifts he should do so, especially if he's the boss.

The essential thing about being a manager (and a successful employee, frankly) is being able to separate the personal from the professional.

Gifts are a small personal gesture, not part of some tit for tat manipulative playground game, 'but you played with the other children, not with me, so you're not getting a present'.

He'd look like a small-minded, hyper-sensitive idiot, completely unable to separate his personal and professional identities and prone to creating dramas for attention (unsuitable employee all round), if he usually gives a gift and chooses not to this year.

Even if he's the nicest guy, someone is stirring and the others are being led on, that is an issue in his team that it sounds like he's failing to deal with effectively, whether he's the manager or not. So, on a professional level, he need to face this, work out what's going on and why and tackle the underlying problem.

Sorry, but this sounds like an awful place to work.

My advice for him would be to look for a job in a company which is less wanky.

Do you work there too? If not why is it any of your business?

If you don't work there, and can't actually see what is happening how can you form an opinion when you only know 1 side of the situation.

has he bought them gifts/chocks for Christmas in the past?
if so - he should carry on
if not - why suddenly now?