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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tip our street cleaner?

26 replies

plantsitter · 20/12/2013 22:52

I am a SAHM and I see the guy who cleans our street very often. He works really hard in all weathers and takes a chair round with him and sits on it on the pavement to eat his lunch. Sometimes I have seen him doing this using the tree in our front yard as shelter when it's raining. Basically I think he does a really good job and doesn't seem to take much of a break.

Today I gave him a Christmas card with a tenner in it. I thought that he probably doesn't get paid much and a tenner was an appropriate amount.

DH thinks this is not usual and that I may have embarrassed the guy. I do hope not but it's done now. What do you all think? Was it the wrong thing to have done?

OP posts:

wheretoyougonow · 20/12/2013 22:54

I think that was lovely

Original poster

plantsitter · 20/12/2013 22:59

Thank you, wheretoyougonow.

OP posts:

SantaRedLegs · 20/12/2013 23:03

I think that's a lovely thing to do. I bet he'll have been touched that someone really appreciates what he does :)

Elfina · 20/12/2013 23:04

Lovely, thoughtful thing to do.

RiceBurner · 20/12/2013 23:05

What wheretoyougonow said. You sound very kind. (Well done.)

shoofly · 20/12/2013 23:06

I think it might not be "usual" as your DH thinks. But it's a lovely thing to do and I'm sure it'll be very welcome.

Original poster

plantsitter · 20/12/2013 23:08

Thanks all. I will tell DH to knob off what you have said then.

OP posts:

Gartenzwerg · 21/12/2013 00:28

Lucky you for even having a street cleaner. I pick up litter when I see it but I can't deal with dogshit, leaves or manky kebab wrappers.

If I had someone who regularly cleared up that kind of crap,I would certainly not begrudge him a Xmas tenner. DH is a tightwad.

TrucksAndDinosaurs · 21/12/2013 01:08

Well done you; a nice appreciative gesture and very reasonable (and traditional - see origins of Boxing Day)
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boxing_Day

It was expected that you'd tip the bin men, post man etc when I was growing up - usually a card with a note tucked inside.

SeaSickSal · 21/12/2013 01:28

I think you probably embarrassed the poor guy. You're making the assumption that because he works as a street cleaner he's some kind of piss poor beggar who needs donations.

I imagine if he's going out doing a job like that rather than being on the dole that he has a certain amount of pride. I suspect that your husband may well be right that he is offended

You should have given him a gift like a bottle of whisky or maybe some chocolates or an insulated mug for a drink.

I give a tip to our paperboy but that's it. I know you meant well but I really think you may well have offended him.

tigerdriverII · 21/12/2013 01:35

Of course he's not embarrassed he'll be delighted with a tenner. He won't be returning it in embarrassment, that's for sure!

Our milkman will be getting a tip (fiver, as I am not as generous as you) but the bin men won't, they are anonymous to me and the company changes all the time as do the guys on the round. Postie will get a tip for signing for my post and leaving it somewhere sensible not sending it to the depot.

Gartenzwerg · 21/12/2013 01:38

Bin men definitely won't be getting a tip. They make a good chunk of the mess that my street cleaner would clean up, if I had one

SeaSickSal · 21/12/2013 01:45

This is one of those threads where people just agree with the OP without even thinking about it because they think they're being nice.

I would bet my right leg that 99% of the people saying how wonderful it is would be absolutely fuming if their boss gave them a card with a tenner in it.

Just because this guy is doing a manual job doesn't mean he needs charity. A gift is appropriate but giving him money is rude. It seems to assume that he is somehow beggarly. Sorry, it's just rude.

tigerdriverII · 21/12/2013 01:51

seasick. I'm a lawyer working for a reasonably big firm. In the boom days, every member of staff used to get a crisp red £50 note and a bottle of champers as an Xmas present. Not one single person was offended by this (apart from me, too senior to be able to snarf a nifty bottle of Veuve). Why would the street cleaner be offended by someone showing appreciation of what he's done? You are suggesting "patronising". OP is saying thank you.

SeaSickSal · 21/12/2013 02:59

Tiger, there is a massive, massive difference between the two.

You are a lawyer who is presumably very comfortable financially. £50 was a token amount and it was given by someone who knew you reasonably well. Nobody could have construed that as patronising.

There is a huge, huge difference between a lawyer being given a token gift and a virtual stranger approaching you in the street and pressing money on you.

The poor bloke was probably mortified, the OP treated him like some kind of beggar because of the job he does. Her DH is right, it's not on. She's been extremely, extremely rude. It was totally inappropriate to give him cash. She could have bought him a present but to give him cash was totally, totally inappropriate.

There are ways of showing appreciation without being a condescending patronising twat.

Balaboosta · 21/12/2013 08:02

I think you did a nice thing.

natwebb79 · 21/12/2013 08:12

I think it's ridiculous to insinuate that he'll be offended. Any human being who works hard appreciates recognition from the people benefitting from their work. And as the OP's DH pointed out I shouldn't imagine the man in question is bombarded with members of the public expressing their thanks.

Shitballs · 21/12/2013 08:16

I give our postman money in a card at Xmas, as do my neighbours. He probably collect £100 from our street alone.

No so insulting when you look at as a collective.

WideAwakeMum · 21/12/2013 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tanukiton · 21/12/2013 08:34

The man might not be a boozer, maybe even diabetic and might just not want a Jo Malone candle :). An extra tenner at Christmas is by far the best choice! I was given 10 pounds by a stranger once. It was lovely, meant a meal out on my birthday, and a few random acts of kinds from me...

Original poster

plantsitter · 21/12/2013 09:44

Thanks for all replies. I think DH was saying what seasicksal is and to be honest I would've got him a present but a. That feels like a minefield too and b. I happened to see him, hadn't got one (though I had been planning to) and wasn't sure I would see him before Xmas. I also said something like 'thank you for keeping our street clean in all weathers' in the card.

Afterwards I was a bit worried about seeming all lady bountiful. But my intention was nice so I think I'm going to give myself a break about it now.

OP posts:

Rubybrazilianwax · 21/12/2013 10:09

Absolutely nothing wrong with what you did op. People who get offended over being given money in this day and age are few and far between. It is nothing like treating him like a beggar, you didn't exactly offer him a handful of spare change.

loveolives · 21/12/2013 10:10

Nothing wrong with what you did, it was very kind. I'm such a nasty bastard when it comes to tipping. I don't tip any

loveolives · 21/12/2013 10:11

I don't tip anyone for anything. Why on earth should I tip someone for doing their job. Nasty bastard I am.

Pimpf · 21/12/2013 10:14

Nothing wrong with what you did, unusual but not offensive or patronising

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