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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Panto meanies

25 replies

catdoctor · 20/12/2013 22:43

So I don't know - am I being hormonal or genuinely gormless.

DS2 is nearly 3wo but seems laid back so thought I'd try and get a late booking for local panto. DS1 is 3 and loved it last year.

So yes they have 3 seats for me, DH and DS1 but won't accept DS2 as babe in arms - he would need his own seat! What would I do with a seat for him - he'd be glued to a boob.

Got a bit stabby over this. Is there some legalese thing going on here?

OP posts:

FalalalalalalaFiggy · 20/12/2013 22:45

Really I took my little boy last week he sat on my knee and he's 2 on Sunday!!

That is proper mean

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2013 22:45

That's ridiculous to make a 3 week old baby have a seat.

I thought you were going to say you weren't allowed to take the baby...which I would have understood because they can be so noisy (the babies and the panto!)

But that's just money grabbing madness

Sirzy · 20/12/2013 22:45

It is probably down to the limit on the number of people who can be in the theatre, making everyone have a seat ensures they don't go over their limit. It also helps them know exactly how many people are in which is handy if anything goes wrong and they have to evacuate.

Tbh I think your mad for taking such a young baby, and hope your ready for one of you to leave if needed.

JohnCusacksWife · 20/12/2013 22:46

Are you sure they realise he's 3weeks and not 3 years??

PumpkinPositive · 20/12/2013 22:46

These stories appear in the papers every year - essentially the theatres don't want tiny babies at the performances hence the jobsworth policies.

Might be a bit bah humbug but I can't fathom why anyone would take such a young baby to a panto.

AnitaManeater · 20/12/2013 22:46

I'd buy the three tickets and just casually walk in with newborn in arms.

AnitaManeater · 20/12/2013 22:48

It's the panto, not the ballet. Nobody is going to mind if you gave to make a sharp exit

NoComet · 20/12/2013 22:54

it's a panto, if I'd gone in the evening DD2 would have fed through the entire thing and been absolutely no bother.
I was an NCT class supporter when she was little. She gave totally the wrong impression by being adorable. She was used to feeding with the TV on, antenatal class or panto would be fine.

What the class never heard was her scream the second they went home. The second it went quiet WHAaaaaaaaaA

Original poster

catdoctor · 20/12/2013 22:58

I can see the point about access come evacuation type topics.
The reason I'd take a baby is that we're a family and I'd like DS1 to be able to go, seem a bit glum sending him off with DH on their tod. I don't think it's necessary to put your whole life on hold coz you've had a sprog.
Sharp exits where appropriate are a way of life for us with our brand of preschooler.

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CranberrySaucyJack · 20/12/2013 22:59

It's genuinely unfair on you, but I totally get why they have a blanket policy on needing tickets.

They'd get people carrying in 18 month olds or whatever, pretending they were babes-in-arms too.

Daykin · 20/12/2013 22:59

Put him in your handbag. Our theatre charges £1 for under 1's on your knee.

DeWe · 20/12/2013 23:02

I took dd2 age 1 month. She absolutely loved it! I thought she'd be bfing all the time, but no she really wanted to bounce on my knee and watch. Her little head was swinging round so fast trying to watch everything! Specifically told I didn't need to pay.

But two rows behind us there was a group of 4-1 adult 3 children aged about 5yo and a baby of about 6-9 months. The moment the lights went down until about 10 minutes before the interval when they were asked to leave, the baby screamed hysterically. So I can see where they're coming from.

gubbinsy · 21/12/2013 09:20

When not on maternity leave I work in a theatre. I think YAB a bit unreasonable. We do allow babes in arms for suitable performances if under a year but I would say 3 weeks is too small. I deal with complaints and even in something like panto which is noisy we get complaints about babies crying - if those people have paid for their seat you can see why they'd be upset.

The other thing to be aware of us sound levels. Babies eats are sensitive and whilst we operate within legal decibel limits, a three week old is different.
I understand why you want to go as a family but I would skip it for the three week old.

AnitaManeater · 21/12/2013 09:38

I didn't realise people complained about noise at the panto. The sound of a newborn grizzling is far less offensive than the 5yr old behind me kicking the seat. Would never have thought to ever complain about it!

Original poster

catdoctor · 21/12/2013 10:53

Couple of thoughts - I took DS1 on a plane aged 1, he was allowed on as a lap-sitter till 2yo I think so the issues of access didn't seem to apply on a plane.
Obviously (to me anyway) I wouldn't sit there with a yelling baby and spoil other people's fun, I would decamp to the bar!
FWIW I thought babies could cope with noise - some sort of adaptation to account for their own screaming- or did I just make that up. DS2 seems completely unfazed by noise in our house - preschooler/dogs/DIY - my head is ringing and he just sleeps through it .
Thank you for your comments - I don't feel quite so cross now!

OP posts:

Original poster

catdoctor · 21/12/2013 12:04

And regards the handbag approach, do I need to make air holes or is leaving the zip open a bit sufficient?

OP posts:

Farrowandbawlbauls · 21/12/2013 12:50

Why don't you get someone to look after the baby?

The reason I'd take a baby is that we're a family and I'd like DS1 to be able to go, seem a bit glum sending him off with DH on their tod.

It's for 1 year - I'm sure you aill get over it soon enough if only your ds and his dad went - it'll be a nice bonding moment for them.

I don't think it's necessary to put your whole life on hold coz you've had a sprog.

It's one night, for a few hours. Get a grip and a sitter or just let DH take him.

quietbatperson · 21/12/2013 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

catdoctor · 21/12/2013 13:03

Thanks Farrow, because he'll be feeding.

Got a reasonable grip thanks. Oh dear, I didn't add the 'lighthearted' disclaimer did I.

Thank you all for your input, I think we've resolved this one between us!

OP posts:

ProudAS · 21/12/2013 13:13

I think people may be slightly off topic here. The theatre have no problem with baby being there but expect him to have own seat.

I am involved in a group which puts on panto style plays for children and babies often come with older siblings. DNephew was 5 weeks old first time he attended and no trouble at all although one parent was ready to take him out if need be.

gubbinsy · 23/12/2013 05:48

Anita you'd be amazed at what people complain about! I've had people complain the panto had too many children in the audience before!

TheDoctrineOfSanta · 23/12/2013 06:00

Exactly, proud - they aren't stoping baby going, just saying he needs a seat. It's the same in other venues - the Olympics had that rule, before they changed it.

MrsMook · 23/12/2013 06:08

Our panto's policy is under 1s are a babe in arms, but you have to prebook them for a head count.

I took an 8m old last week, he loved all the lights, and was perfectly happy. We were accompanied by a 3yo sibling and brownie pack!

He was a couple of months old when he came with us to the cinema and was no problem then. Just fed or slept through that.

DalekInAFestiveJumper · 23/12/2013 06:10

Is the theatre less than well attended? Once upon a time I worked at a theatre that had a similar policy because chronic under attendance and chronic over spending meant that the board of directors were desperate for dollars. The argument could be made (and was made!) that we were losing more business than we gained with that policy, but as it was only one of many, many things I thought was a bit daft about the place, I didn't really argue much.

Sparklymommy · 23/12/2013 06:39

I'm not sure I would take such a young baby to the panto tbh. And that's from a mad mum with two children in different pantomimes this Christmas.

We took dd2, aged 2.6 and dh had to take her out after the opening scene because she cried. Waste of money!

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