When my DPils phone line went down it was off for eleven weeks. Every day we phoned we got a promise that it would be fixed by the end of the day and a profuse apology. We got told it was our cable, the cable outside, the cable in the road, roadworks on our road (there were none), roadworks on the main road (again, none), no traffic lights available in the whole county for the roadworks needed to rectify the fault, it went on and on. Then they said an engineer was at the house fixing it as we spoke. Um, well we're here and there's no engineer. Then they said he was in our road, just outside our house. We don't have a junction box in our road.
Are you me? I'd think you are except I did actually have a junction box that they never even mentioned.
My internet went out every day for about 7 months. A few times it was out for a week. It ran like shit all the time if it ran at all.
I also had an invisible engineer! He even fixed my connection with his ethereal powers - though unfortunately in the alternate dimension he was obviously inhabiting.
In the end they sent some sort of weird PC doctor out, but my PC was fine.
He was so odd, he deleted my desktop picture of Alexander Skarsgaard, fiddled with my settings and icons so I couldn't find anything or work out what he's done for ages.
I came home just in time to stop him deleting all my Sims 2 games.
He was sort of like some weird PC stalker.
My internet was still fucked afterwards and my PC still ran the same as it did before.
I switched to Virgin.