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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to want to be tied down and organised between Christmas and New Year?

5 replies

CambridgeBlue · 20/12/2013 09:47

Apart from a week's holiday in the summer, the period between Christmas and New Year is the only time we get to spend more than a few days in a row together as a family with neither me or DH working. I really look forward to it and to just doing what we fancy, not having to get up or be anywhere at a particular time and generally chilling out.

We are seeing family on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day as well as this weekend but my increasingly irritating DM is trying to get us to meet her sometime between Christmas and New Year because she wants to go shopping in the big town near us. I really don't want to be tied down (and don't fancy hanging round crowded shops while she picks out what she wants) and suggested we try and do something after New Year before DD goes back to school (even though I could do without it) but she clearly thinks I'm being awkward :(.

I've posted before about how pushy DM can be - no matter how often we see her, or for how long, it's never enough. I read on here about people with older kids who don't want to see their parents as much and it makes me feel sad so I do try to accommodate DM despite us leading busy lives like most people. But I just wish she would realise that her constant nagging, organising, competitive business and petty attention seeking makes us want to see less of her instead of more.

OP posts:
LessMissAbs · 20/12/2013 09:52

Just say no. It will come as a shock to her the first time but stick to your guns and she will soon realise you cannot be pushed around.

Similar here - DH and I like to spend the hols outdoors doing a lot of sport and haven't seen a lot of each other recently. MIL started on about visiting SIL on Boxing Day, BIL the day after etc and I told her that while they were welcome to join in with us in our outdoor sports on those days, we would not be spending any more than Christmas Day itself indoors, eating.

I can imagine going shopping with MIL would be equally tedious!

AlpacaPicnic · 20/12/2013 09:58

You should refuse but politely and firmly. Its your holiday too! I realise this is very easy to type and not so easy to do - could you just be vague and flaky and refuse to commit ever

Id quite like to be tied down over christmas... By Alan Rickman! While someone else did the washing up...

WaitingForMe · 20/12/2013 09:59

Tell her you have plans. Which is the truth.

It is 100% irrelevant whether she agrees that your wishes constitute plans.

AlpacaPicnic · 20/12/2013 10:00

If you really fancy some peace and quiet, you could try telling her what you told us in the last sentance of your op... Is she the sulky type? It sounds like you're never going to please her so you might as well please yourself!

CambridgeBlue · 20/12/2013 10:23

Is she the sulky type? Haha, just a bit! Unfortunately I did attempt to tell her this last year (again just before Christmas, her timing's also shit) and it led to a big row, which upset me, which then upset DH on my behalf so he was rude to her over Christmas, which led to her being pissed off with us both for the first few months of the year. Is it clear now why I don't want to see any more of her than duty and tradition make necessary?!

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