To be sick of judgy parents?

[takingthathometomomma]

We all have different ways of parenting. We have all had different upbringings ourselves. That's obvious and normal. I am so fed up of seeing "That's wrong," "Why bother to have kids?" and "IMO that's bad parenting."

Am I the only one who thinks that a lot of MNers (and real-life parents) seem to have read some sort of parenting manual and are using it like a rule book?

MN is all about the judging.

It would cease to exist without it.

I'm glad I wasn't on MN when my kids were little.

It depends what they are doing. Some things I would certainly judge.

You been sending your kids down the pit?

Sirzy what type of things? Of course anything that is clearly child abuse is worthy of judgement, but what else would be?

YANBU

I have a very thick skin now, after years and years of being judged (being the parent of a children who have emotional and behavioural issues draws judgement like a metal object to an MRI scanner...).

I know why I parent the way I do, but I hardly think that my way of parenting (much as it works very well for my children) is going to be a good way to parent ALL children. Likewise, I wish people (especially professionals) would listen to my explanations of why I parent the way I do, and not judge me. But in the end, having a thick skin and letting as much as possible roll off is the best way to deal with it

If you think your doing a good job, why would you worry about others being judgy? Everybody has an opinion these days. I know I live for my kids so screw what everyone else thinks.

How you feed your kids.
What school your kids go to.
What nappies you use
What you buy them for xmas.
How much tv they watch.

Take your pick

YANBU

However, sometimes you are just passing your opinion like what the site is all about and you are blamed for being nasty or lacking in empathy.
I think if you post in AIBU you do so to gain opinion, but unfortunately its not always acceptable, which is a shame.
Fair enough if you are looking for support, post on the relevant thread and you are more likely to get the support, or people to tell you to do what you think is right.

Often the most scathing and judgemental posts are by the 'gentle' parenting types - which I find amusingly ironic

roweeena I agree!

I think it's an English thing. I'm Scottish, and never feel judged here. I've spent 4 recent holidays in England, and oh my word. You certainly give other parents the cats bum mouth. Don't know why (well, I could pontificate, but it's bedtime)

Mymum have you taken a trip to Edinburgh lately?

I don't think I'll ever tire of judgy parents - they make me laugh.

I am leading a very boring life off work sick at the mo and other people's judgyness is keeping me sane!!

Who doesn't judge though to some extent? Honestly?? I think we all do (whether we like to admit it or not). I think those who say they don't are kidding themselves.

I think there are a lot if people on MN seeking judgement from other MNers. They are probably hoping for praise and applause, and then find all the judgements across the spectrum flow their way. Shock horror . Oh the injustice

If your parenting results in your children behaving in a manner that hurts/offends/annoys/endangers other people than you will be judged. If your parenting results in harmful consequences for your children, you will be judged.

We live in a society, your parenting affects your children and everybody they come into contact with. People will judge what negatively impacts on them.

Everyone judges. Everyone has opinions, positive or negative. If you've liked something about someone's parenting you have still judged the same as someone who dislikes that same parenting. Some people are more vocal about it than others though especially on a parenting discussion forum.

You think you've been judged as a parent?
Wait until your own parents think your children are just old enough to tell you where they think you got wrong ! that's coming !

Don't sweat the small stuff - unless you are knocking them about or locking them in cellars you're doing OK. There's never a day off. It's cool to admit "I'm not perfect" and it's groovy to say "I keep 'em alive and I try to make them smile (the bastards).
So now you're not only cool but also groovy.
What do you want for nothing ?

A rubber biscuit ?

There's judging and then there's judging Though isn't there? One is when you see someone screaming abuse at their child in public - bad parenting and worth judging, then there's the type that I got from a couple of women who watched me giving my admittedly small 6 month old DD her first taste of ice cream in the park. The sucking of teeth could be heard for miles around... That's just being an arse.

I like to consider myself a fairly open minded person and I really like to understand and not judge as much as possible. Mainly because I realise how imperfect I am and how many mistakes I regularly make so I know that others are the same. I reaallly try hard not to judge seeing a snippet of someone's life in public where possible.

BUT the other day I was on the train and in stepped two mothers, one had a toddler of about 2 and the other had twin toddlers. As soon as they stepped on the one with the 2 year old was screaming at him "If you don't fucking shut up I'll smack yer", he was crying his heart out and boy did I feel for him. He ran off down the carriage at one point and she didn't even attempt to chase him. When he came back she told him if he shut up he could have fizzy pop. Then the conducter had some issue with their tickets so they started shouting and swearing at him. When they got off they immediately got the fags out. I don't know, in that moment I couldn't not judge.

If it's about daft things like whether you're a working parent or SAHM, nappies, bottle/breastfed etc then yes, that's stupid. Often I think the really judgemental ones are the most insecure ones.

Everyone judges, you meet a person and you make an assessment of them in about 2 seconds, you can't help yourself.
In RL you keep them to yourself (hopefully) but on MN you are honest!
In RL they are not asking for an opinion but on MN they are (and get it)