To refuse to be around someone because all they talk about is them self

[Laila362]

So my partner's dad has a girlfriend who literally only talks about her self. Not only that, she hogs every conversation. After spending 2 hours viewing tedious pictures of her holiday and hearing every minute detail of how she came to adopt her pets i decided I would never spend more than 30 mins with her. Bear in mind the purpose of the visit was to show off our newborn son to his grandad! My partners dad eventually managed to ask a few questions about our son but after each answer she would inform us of how much her children had weighed and how she had managed to being up her kids alone as she didn't know their fathers well! I had a physical headache afterwards and I now refuse to spend much time with her. But my dp likes to visit his dad every week as he's lonely after his divorce from dp's mum and she is usually there. He likes me to come too but I now refuse if she is there although of course no one but dp knows that's the reason. So u think its fair enough? This woman won't be in dp's dads like forever, e even admits he finds her irritating but he likes the company even if it's bad company!

Annoying, yes, for sure!

But, she could just be nervous? You are a very important part of the family and she is not, you are bringing round DGS. Maybe she just doesn't know how to contribute?

If she's round there all the time he's not on his own then surely.

Get DH to take round DGC and put your feet up.

Be kind. She probably doesn't realise that she's banging on about herself; nerves, maybe? Give her a break. She's making your father in law happy, so maybe try to cut her some slack?

At first I was kind and made excuses but now I know it's nothing to do with nerves but a complete disinterest in anything but herself. She is selfish in other ways too but the fact she isn't a nice person wouldn't be reason for me not to go round. I just can't stand to converse with her. I physically get a headache. And dp's father isn't happy with her. He loves dp's mum and is with her only for the companionship due to feeling lonely. He admits she can be irritating but doesn't want to be on his own. It's a shame

Blimey, you're a bit harsh! Sometimes you have to put up with people for the sake of duty, you know.

So basically she is being used as a bed warmer?

Don't spend time with her if you don't want to. But she isn't actually doing anything wrong, just making conversation.

She probably realises the apathy everyone feels towards her and tries to over-compensate.

Families always have someone annoying in them. That's life. You just have to grin and bear it because other people love them or want them there. It's not all about you, and how stimulating you find their conversation. Just get on with it.

She sounds irritating but feel a bit sorry for her as you all dislike her, even her partner.

Precisely Rhubarb.

I know a few people that are in circles of friends or families that drive me nuts. But you have to put up with it in order to appease others.

I understand that sometimes you have to put up with people you're not too keen on but when I go and visit and she's there I physically get a headache! And you can't just grin and bear it you have to actively listen and comment on her rather boring stories. It's tiring more than boring. I think the kindest thing would be for someone to tell her she talks too much about herself but everyone is too polite! It's sad as well as no one else gets a chance to catch up as even in a group she expects everyone to listen to her. So do you think it's fair enough that I don't want to regularly be given a headache by someone who is only interested on themselves. Any advice on how to deal with her of u think I should? My friend who met her dealt with her really well because she is really confident and just said excuse me would you mind if I finished what I was saying when she tried to talk over her. It did shut her up for a minute but she was back talking nonsense again :-(