To feel guilty about saying "no" to work?

[Workberk]

I work part time and I'm asked usually several times a week to attend work meetings on my days off.

I feel so guilty saying no and try to disguise the fact I work part time as my employer could easily insist I return to a 5 day week.

I'm the only person in the company who does what I do so that compounds the guilt.

Part of me however thinks I should be much braver and more open about the fact I'm part time.

AIBU to feel guilty? Does it ever get easier?

Sorry I don't really follow this... How does your employer not know you work part time...? Presumably someone authorized your hours?

I think I know what you mean, we have a culture of saying "I have a conflict that day" or "I'd prefer later in the week" rather than "I don't work Wednesdays/ I'm on hol/ I have childcare committments".

I think it depends a) on your industry, it is the kind of thing that is seen as a weakness (sadly this is still the case in some places) and b) can you be open with a close direct team, and say I only work Mon-Wed, so let's structure things so I can get as much done as poss then- because you may risk looking flaky if you're always saying "ooh I'd rather not Fri" and they don't know you're out of the office that day.

How can they insist that you return to full time? Isn't your contact now part time so they'd need your agreement?

are you doing your contracted hours? Doing all the hours you are paid for? How can your employer insist you go full time? Who are you hiding your p/t status from?

What does your contract say? Do you have a contract for part-time? How long have you been part-time? I think they have to honour your part-time hours if you've been doing them for a certain amount of time, even if you don't have an amendment to your contract. Check on the employment board.

Are the people requesting meetings clients? I would just say you aren't available that day, but suggest the days you are.

Do you work regular hours on regular days?

If so then surely just say "sorry I don't work Fridays".

I don't see what the problem is.

Unless your part time agreement is a flexible "as and when required" and you're not fulfilling that arrangement.

YANBU. I work part time too and feel the pressure to do stuff on days off. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I get paid for the extra, sometimes I don't.

It helps that I like my job.

I used to struggle with this as it was made clear I'd never get promoted being part time. I was often asked to come in on non- working days for meetings etc. doing this involved DH taking annual leave to cover childcare.

Eventually I got fed up. Now if I'm asked to come in I rate the meeting from 1-10 for its impact on my work and my career. If its a 9 or a 10(eg attending will make my working life better) then I will go. Otherwise I simply say I'm not available on that day, in my experience most things can be rearranged pretty easily. I never say I'm not working, just that I'm not available.

Sometimes people in my unit will ask me to stay late etc. I point out to them that me staying until 5pm is the equivalent of them working until 9pm. I think calmly pointing these things out allows people to understand.

Mind you I know my career is going nowhere because I've had maternity leave and children. If I had options for promotions etc maybe I'd be more willing to work on my non working days.

I can see how it doesn't make sense to some based on my OP - others have it spot on. Great suggestions re: ranking meeting importance.

Yes I work part time and am contracted to do so, however I know I am lucky to have been granted a 3 day week. I used to do a similar job full time before children.

I work in a large co and my role means I work with a lot of different colleagues. Many people know I've returned p/t but having heard colleagues complaining in general about the hassle of employing p/t staff I don't go around broadcasting the fact and try to create the illusion of being "always on". Even the people who know my working pattern regularly invite me to meetings on my days off.

They could easily say that it has become untenable for me to work p/t and revert my job to 5 days p/w - there is form for this.

workberk I don't have kids but work in engineering consultancy and I've always known that as and when the time comes, PT would be tricky. Interestingly though, in my small company of 30 we have at least 3 PT workers...only one of whom has kids! The others have just realised that there's more to life.

I know it's hard but part of this reason is that we're still ashamed of working less than others. Presumably you're on a pro rata pay reduction so don't feel guilty.

If anything, I'd be inclined to make it clear your part time - not in an awkward/obstructive manner. I support the idea of ranking meetings. In my work there are two types of meeting: internal, which are normally procedural or company updates and external client or design team.

For the internal, if it's not critical you attend them speak to the organiser, explain that you aren't around and ask if there is anyway you can see material in advance to feed back your comments. Equally, ask that they, or someone, gives you a debrief. It's unlikely you won't be the only one missing.

For the external meetings, if it's a regular team then I'd say that x days are tricky for you and it would be appreciated of meetings on those days can be avoided where possible. I work on a number of projects at any one time and it means that I have to juggle meetings around. Occasionally, last minute meetings will clash and I can't attend. Your situation is no different really, all they need to know is that certain days don't work. The reason.is irrelevant and your non.working days should have just as much priority as other commitments.

Good luck!

Agh..pls excuse autocorrect typos (such as your/you're)

Just a basic,how are these meetings organised? If it's done via outlook please tell me that you have your calendar marked up to show that you are out of office? Make it as easy as possible for people to get it right.

Lastnight thanks, yes you're right there are often clashes anyway.

Greenfolder yes I have my days off blocked out but some people don't use outlook to schedule - plus so many people have multiple conflicting appts that calendars are often ignored anyway.

yabu and need to stop feeling inferior for working part time. I work part time but have a job share partner who obviously is there when I'm not BUT there is real discrimination I think in seeing part timers as baby-brained numpties. Covering up/ ducking diving isn't the way to tackle it though. I have had some issues in the past 12 months but once people get used to it everything settles down ime.