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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think having a dog is NOT the same as having kids.

47 replies

LayMeDown · 19/12/2013 12:46

BIL and partner got a dog. She's a gorgeous little thing, really friendly and gentle and very quiet.
They are besotted with her. Sleeps in their bed, dressed up in little outfits, presents under the tree etc. All fine. She's their baby I get it.
However several times now they have empathised with us saying they understand how difficult it is having kids since they've got her. That its just like having a kid themselves with the early morning rises, responsibility etc.
While I accept there is responsibility in dog ownership am I U to think it is actually nothing like being a parent and all that goes with rearing a child (hopefully) successfully into adulthood?

OP posts:

HesterShaw · 19/12/2013 13:22

An extremely patronising opening sentence, reviving. I'm sure they don't see themselves as objects of pity.

D0oinMeCleanin · 19/12/2013 13:24

There are remarkable similarities between raising a puppy and raising a child. When fostering puppies I've often found myself awake at 4am wondering why the hell I agreed to this, much like I did when I had babies and toddlers

I found both equally hard to deal with, although the baby/toddler stage does last longer.

LastOneDancing · 19/12/2013 13:25

It's clearly not the same.

But it's their only point of reference if they don't have DC, and there are comparisons - something cute, vulnerable and much loved which demands endless care & attention.

I wouldn't be too hard on them

thebody · 19/12/2013 13:31

Ah they sound really nice people.

I have presents for the cats under my tree from santa paws

Would bloody love to get them reindeer outfits for Christmas too but the kids and dh won't let me.

snowed · 19/12/2013 13:32

YANBU.

Sometimes people suggest to people having fertility problems that they should get a pet instead. As if it's the same at all!

HaveToWearHeels · 19/12/2013 13:34

I love my dog, but he is not like having a child. he is a whole lot easier.

I can leave him home alone.
I don't have to constantly entertain him.
He doesn't wake in the night.
I don't have to ferry him around to after school activities.
He doesn't cost much to feed.

he is not like having a child !

patienceisvirtuous · 19/12/2013 13:38

I hate these type of threads. There's usually an abundance of mean or patronising comments aimed at child free/less people by those with children.

littlewhitechristmasbag · 19/12/2013 13:45

I adore my dog and there is no doubt she was hard work as a young pup. However having her is no-where like the responsibility of having a child. I am about to pop her in her crate and go to the shops for a few hours. Couldn't do that with the kids when they were small!

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 19/12/2013 13:47

Actually, I can see where they are coming from. It was just like going back to having a baby when I got my puppy.

It grew up quicker mind you and I was able to leave it at home alone from an early age, unlike the children.

The children have never gone on a 2 hour romp round the neighbourhood and come back smelling of shit though.

absentmindeddooooodles · 19/12/2013 13:51

I have a puppy and a toddler ds.

Ds is a tornado as is the puppy. Between them today they uave:

Eaten 3 socks ( dog)
Bittwn me (ds)
Pooed on the floor 3 times ( dog)
Got into tue cupboard and tipped out a massive thing ofwashing powder ( joint effort)
Covered my front room in glitter (ds)
Eaten said glitter ( both)
Pulled the christmas tree over ( both again)
Jumped off a chair headfirst ( ds)
Emptied my purse ( ds)
Eaten my purse ( dog)

Differwnce is I can shut the bloody dog in the cage. Although I rexkon I could fit a toddler in there too......................... ..

carabos · 19/12/2013 13:57

Having recently looked after a friend's dog for 10 days, I'd say that it's like having a smelly, badly-behaved, sleepless toddler around. Although having said that, when my DCs were toddlers I don't remember either of them ever rolling in a dead sheep or chasing squirrels... .

revivingshower · 19/12/2013 13:57

I don't mean to be patronising hester was partly joking about them being deluded. Im sure they know the difference really and were really meaning the responsibility of a dog gives them more idea about the responsibility of parenting. But i do think the caring instinct we have to take care of kids is the same thing that makes us want to own pets.

The dressing up thing is probably because they are the same sort of sentimental people who annoy MNers by posting "gorgaws bubba" pics on fb

babyicebean · 19/12/2013 14:01

I jokingly taught my kids to sit and stay - they do still respond if I yell 'SIT'. Best was they day mine sat, as well as three dogs and a couple of other kids in the park.

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 19/12/2013 14:06

Sometimes I whistle for my children like I do for the dog.

HesterShaw · 19/12/2013 14:08

reviving sorry I sounded sensitive. Thanks for coming back :)

D0oinMeCleanin · 19/12/2013 14:10

@ babyicebean

I've been guilty of clicker training the children, in particular dd2, who was 'clicker trained' i.e. we used positive reinforcement and behavior shaping, to train her not to ask for the loo as soon as her dinner was served.

Worked brilliantly. Pamela Dennison should rename her book "Idiot's guide to positive dog and young child training"

I've never gone so far as to train them to sit, though, mind you everything with ears in this house knows what "ENOUGH" means, even the cat responds, never mind the kids

revivingshower · 19/12/2013 14:21

Well I should have thought before I posted hester I don't mean to upset ppl who are childless but have pets. I actually think caring for animals is a very worthwhile thing to do.

peppinagiro · 19/12/2013 14:23

YANBU - this is infuriating. One of my friends recently bought a new flat with her DP and they spent a few weeks decorating. They came round to visit my newborn and spent the whole time detailing how painting a flat was just the same as having a baby, because 'you start at 10 and finish at 8 and in between it's really relentless, and really physical work, and you just feel knackered'.

I genuinely could have quite cheerfully murdered them.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 19/12/2013 14:27

YANBU my mum does this with her fucking cat

I'll say something like "DS isn't sleeping through the night (he's 2) and she'll answer with "oh I know exactly how you feel. Pusskins (not hisw real name) woke me up at 5.30 this morning for breakfast!" ha! like its the same thing at all. least its ok to stick the cat outside at half 5 in the morning because its getting on your tits. be frowned upon to do that with a baby/small child!

ThurlHoHoHow · 19/12/2013 14:28

YANBU. A friend commented recently that she knows what it will be like having broken sleep with a baby because her cats sometimes whine for attention in their room at 4am.

I'm not sure why I stopped myself from pointing out that it generally isn't a good idea to shut babies in the kitchen at 4am so you can go back to sleep

MinesAPintOfTea · 19/12/2013 14:29

I've compared notes on bringing up children vs kitten with a friend and not been remotely offended that she calls her kitten her baby. But she acknowledges the important difference that she can leave the kitten in the house and go out to work or to a hobby which tbh is the hard part of having a young child to me.

mistermakersgloopyglue · 19/12/2013 14:32

Hmmm, in some ways I can imagine a dog is more difficult eg. we cant get one because neither of us can come home from work in the day to let it out, not being able to bring it on holiday, massive vets bills, having to take it out for walks all the time. DH is always going on about wanting a dog, but the thought of the responsibility makes me shudder.

However, we do have a DS who we have managed to raise to the ripe old age of 2 with no problems so far!

But ultimately yes, of course children are much more responsibility and I don't think you can ever feel the same about a dog as you do about your own child.

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