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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want to work away from home?

15 replies

izzydazzling · 18/12/2013 23:45

Hi
Work has asked for volunteers to go and train some people in another part of the country - three locations - the closest being three hours away on the train & the furthest five hours. We'd stay in a hotel Monday to Friday and be come back at the weekends. I'm really excited at the thought of doing this, I love training and I think it would be exciting to stay in a hotel and have lovely showers and read books and not have any dishes or housework to do for a few days! My husband is supportive and as he's not working at the moment has said go for it. Oldest child is bizarrely really happy at the thought of me getting meals on expenses! Anyway, a few people have already turned it don't saying they don't want to leave their kids. So... really...what I want to know is am I a terrible mother to even consider this? It's only for a few weeks. And does anyone bat an eyelid when fathers work away from home?

OP posts:

DirtyDancingCleanLiving · 18/12/2013 23:49

Just as a one off for a week or permanently?

lessonsintightropes · 18/12/2013 23:49

Your family, your choice, sounds like you'd love to do it and your family are happy with it - so go for it. My sis works abroad sometimes - a week in Japan, a couple of week long trips to the States every year and her kids are 12 and 14 - they are all okay with it. She was a bit more peeved with her DH going to Liberia for work when her DS was 6 weeks old for 6 weeks... so it must vary according to circumstance. Why not?

Original poster

izzydazzling · 18/12/2013 23:52

it's for a maximum of six weeks.

OP posts:

DirtyDancingCleanLiving · 18/12/2013 23:53

If it's temporary and DH and kids can manage without you then go for it. I would. It will be a lovely change/semi break.

If it was permanent I'd say yabu.

BackforGood · 18/12/2013 23:53

Of course you are not - sounds like an exciting opportunity for you and come at the right time for your family if your dh is at home at the moment. I can understand why it wouldn't suit a lot of families, but I'd certainly be up for it, if offered

MammaTJ · 18/12/2013 23:54

I have been going away to uni during the week and leaving my DC with DP.

I have had some odd reactions too.

DS's teacher even blamed a dip in his behaviour on missing mummy.

I had worked nights up until September and DP had always done the putting to bed, getting them ready for school etc, so there has been very little change for the DC. I did ask her if she would be saying the same if it was Daddy who was away during the week for work. She had the grace to look a little shamefaced.

Of course I miss my DC and DP, but it is for the long term gain for the whole family and I have ben home every weekend, as I am sure you will be.

If your DH is supportive, I would say it is not a problem. Other people should mind their own business.

NatashaBee · 19/12/2013 02:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Morloth · 19/12/2013 03:31

LOL, there is a tussle in my office as to who gets to go when we go on site.

We are all mums and all love it for the reasons you say.

I don't miss the family at all to be honest, it is only a few days here and there. Everyone is sorted and happy in their routine.

Why not?

trinity0097 · 19/12/2013 08:11

Lots of fathers work away from home and are looked after by the mother, I don't see why this is any different, one parent working away whilst one parents looks after the kids. Children can quite happily survive without their Mother once they are past the bf stage, and in this day and age you can speak to them/skype/facetime every night anyway!

monicalewinski · 19/12/2013 09:50

I'm RAF, I've been away from my boys several times over the years, for weeks up to months.

It is an amazing opportunity for a mum to be able to do that sort of thing, to go away and just have to look after and organise yourself, knowing that it's not forever and that life goes back to normality afterwards.

Your kids will be fine (they're already telling you they will be!), and you'll be doing something you really want to do whilst getting a proper break - that is a gift horse you can't ignore.

Don't give it another thought, say yes and tell the detractors to poke it - they're most likely a bit green that they haven't got the same opportunity tbh.

Lilacroses · 19/12/2013 11:05

I'd love to do something like that for a similarly limited period. Change of scene, nights in hotels, nice dinners, good books and telly, meeting new people. Brilliant! Do it!

Delurkedforthis · 19/12/2013 11:10

I am SOOOOOO jealous

samandi · 19/12/2013 12:34

Sounds pretty good to me.

PointyChristmasFairyWand · 19/12/2013 12:42

I'd go for it. My job involves doing this sort of thing too, though not for longer stretches and not veyr often - I do always enjoy it. I started doing it when DD2 was just shy of 5. DH works, but since the DDs are both school age and we had good childcare in place it was never a problem. You sound as if you have good systems too, so just do it!

JoinYourPlayfellows · 19/12/2013 12:46

YANBU

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