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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am not sure I am, regards to "employing" family

17 replies

QuintessentialShadows · 18/12/2013 22:03

Feckless cousin has resigned from a good job, and is in the process of getting a new flat. Basically told the agent that new employment is with us and commencing on X date, and has asked to be put on payroll at X salary to tally with what estate agent has been told.

I am aghast. Hmm

Cousin says "come on, we are FAMILY. PLEASE help me, or else we will be homeless". Did not think, prior to resigning!. (Cousins dp works full time, but apparently this is not enough for landlord/agent. Cousin will stay home with their child as childcare is too expensive.)

I cant possibly instruct our accountant to do this, knowing it is just on paper. We would have to pay out the salary too, as our books need to tally!

Are they unreasonable to ask we do this? DH feels we should help.... He says it is mean not to. I am a great fan of playing by the book.

Unless cousin is prepared to actually do the job?

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 18/12/2013 22:07

Wtf? No! It's fraud! You could be in deep shit, and to be fair, you'd deserve it.

Is feckless cousin DH's or yours?

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 18/12/2013 22:09

Annie, what do you think....

OP posts:
Lilacroses · 18/12/2013 22:12

Good lord no!! What an.outrageous assumption. That is truly unbelievably foolish of them. Of course yanbu.

ENormaSnob · 18/12/2013 22:13

Yanbu

I wouldnt do it and they are out of order to even ask imo.

travailtotravel · 18/12/2013 22:14

No, absolutely not. What next? He's on the books, HMRC will be after you and him for tax ...

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 18/12/2013 22:17

We would of course have to go through all the motions with our accountant, him getting the p45, cousin signing p whatever, us paying accountant for doing this, paying paye, NI, and other taxes, etc. I told dh it was not something I would be prepared to do as they clearly dont understand what they are asking. His family, he will have to talk to them....

OP posts:
Binkyridesagain · 18/12/2013 22:17

YANBU. How could he think that this was acceptable without even checking with you first?

Was he hoping you would give the agents a piece of headed paper confirming every thing he has told them?

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 18/12/2013 22:19

Probably.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/12/2013 22:21

Why did he quit his job? And on what planet does someone expect their family to pay them for doing nothing or to lie for them?

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 18/12/2013 22:24

To be a sahp.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 18/12/2013 22:34

Well, they probably wouldn't check so you'd probably get away with it. Probably. It's still fraud though, i.e. illegal and if found out, painful. Then we move onto whether it is a good idea to help a family take on a financial burden that they can't afford, because if they could afford it the agent wouldn't require evidence of a second income, would they? So the next thing is going to be, well, you have to keep paying us for doing nothing at all for your company, otherwise you'd be making us homeless innit. Or they actually do become homeless and it really will have been at least a little bit your fault for encouraging them to get into that situation. It's a slippery slope. Don't go there. (Addressing this more to Mr QS as you are clearly coming from a more prudent angle.)

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 18/12/2013 22:41

He would not be doing nothing. He worked for us for over a year previously.

I just told my husband, we can either employ him part time for real, and he will work, or forget about it. There is no way we are going to put him on the payroll, unless it is real.

We do need his skill, we have not yet replaced him.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 18/12/2013 22:45

Ah, well, in that case it could be win-win. If he's not too feckless to work for it.

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 18/12/2013 22:52

No, he is not really feckless. It was feckless of him to resign his last job before securing a flat, and I honestly dont know what possesed them to ask if we could do this.

But it could work in our favour. He is very conscientious with his work.

Just spoke to dh again, and cousin has accepted that he can rejoin us on a part time basis.

What a way to get your old job back.... I am actually quite happy now.

First I was enraged, then mellowness returned, and now I am feeling quite positive! Grin

OP posts:
Moreisnnogedag · 18/12/2013 22:53

Ha they surely are yanking your chain? That's just ridiculous - I can't believe your DH is even entertaining the thought. Oh aye let's just get involved in fraud just so we're not mean.

Also any inclination I had to help out would have evaporated when they tried to make out it'd be your fault they were homeless.

FudgefaceMcZ · 18/12/2013 22:53

God I bet all the unemployed people in the country wish they could be offered a job just in return for being a lying knobber, rather than having to go through all the forms and interviews. I don't get why you'd be willing to employ him.

Original poster
QuintessentialShadows · 18/12/2013 22:56

" I don't get why you'd be willing to employ him."

Because he is good at what he does. We have not replaced him, simply because I have not had the time to recruit for somebody with his skill, then train this somebody. At the same time work has been piling up a bit.

And because he is family, and in general a good guy. He just made one or two errors of judgement.

OP posts:
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