To think £2000 means we should have been told a bit sooner?

[FishfingersAreOK]

Will try to keep short - though try not to drip feed.

DH is the eldest of 8 - and takes a lot of responsibility for his younger brothers and sisters. Recently one of his siblings asked to borrow £2000. This sibling had taken up an exciting new job with a start up company - but the sibling's salary/bonus kept being delayed and was suffering a few cash flow issues. Sibling is married with children.

I am wary of DH lending stuff to siblings as some (not all) have been crap at paying him back in the past. But we were offered plenty of reassurances. And for once we had the spare cash (saving for some building work).. This sibling in particular has been pretty appalling at paying DH back. But family is family. Right? And this sibling is now in their 40s not their 20s. It would be fine.

So AIBU to be fuming that DH and I have just been told by PIL that this sibling has resigned from this "great opportunity". And that the sibling resigned over a week ago.

Whilst I realise this does not necessarily mean we will not get our money back - surely I am not be U to think just courtesy suggests informing us may be the right thing to do.

FFS. I am fuming.

If he's been appalling at paying back previously then you were extremely foolish to lend him money again.
If you can't afford to never see the money again then don't lend.

Why have you got two threads about this?

Why does your husband take responsibility for his brothers and sisters? They're just taking the piss in return.

Exciting new start-up opportunity my arse...

You don't need two threads.

Yes, you should have been told.

Two thread cos computer crashed and I thought I had lost the first one - am reporting other to MNHQ to try and delete.

Who can afford to lose £2k. But we will survive - so that is not so much the issue - for me it is more the courtesy of telling us. And I do not mean to sound blase about £2k _ I am not - but it will just take longer for the building work - it will not mean us starving, us in trouble.

And as far as I am concerned - even if it is only £5 a week the sibling will pay it back. Standing order set up. But it just would be nice if the sibling would even give us the courtesy of mentioning it.

I think poor DH feels awful - he thought the sibling had changed. I feel pissed off as I just feel that it is fucking rude not to think that we should be told something that could materially impact on us

Im not surprised s/he left, if s/he wasn't getting paid.

I don't think I'd hang around either - better to spend the time looking for a job that comes with a pay cheque, than with their fingers crossed hoping that eventually a payment will come their way.

I'd be interested to hear the employer's side of the story...