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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people working on the checkout shouldn't comment on pregnancy tests?

69 replies

Onelittlebugbear · 18/12/2013 11:22

I'm probably overly sensitive since we've been trying for over a year and starting ivf in February (dh infertile). I haven't tested for a few months but had (false) christmas hope this month.

Checkout lady said 'oh are you hoping to give him a nice christmas surprise? Or would it be a bad surprise and not a good christmas gift?'

It made me actually want to cry. The test is negative btw. Obviously. Because I was stupid to think I was ever likely to be pregnant, it's just never going to happen.

OP posts:
RibbonsInMyHair · 18/12/2013 11:45

No she shouldn't have commented.

I once to work part time on a checkout when I was a student. They do tell you to make conversation with customers, but that's taking it too far.

It can work the other way too. I once sold a man some condoms and he asked me if they were any good and had I used them before.

Made it worse that his wife and daughter were with him and found the whole thing hilarious Hmm

picnicbasketcase · 18/12/2013 11:47

They shouldn't make any comment either way, regardless of friendly or chatty intent. They have no idea what people might be going through and how much what they say could hurt someone. I'm so sorry OP.

Aberchips · 18/12/2013 11:50

"oh are you hoping to give him a nice christmas surprise?" She shoudn't really comment full stop as you never know what is going on in people lives, but if she had left it at this then I would assume she was trying to be friendly/nice,
however the fact she followed it up with "Or would it be a bad surprise and not a good christmas gift?" Shock Angry - what an awful & incredibly insensitive thing to say to anyone!!

Sorry you didn't get your positive result. Thanks

whatever5 · 18/12/2013 11:50

I was very rude of her to ask a personal question like that. I think that check out staff should be told not to comment on personal items.

Original poster
Onelittlebugbear · 18/12/2013 11:53

Thanks everyone

Sympathy with others who are also waiting for a BFP.

It's just I remember thinking last christmas before we found out about dh that surely this christmas id be pregnant. But I'm not and it feels like it'll never happen. Obviously the checkout lady couldn't know that but it still made me feel crappy when the commented. I thought 'no, it would be absolutely the best christmas gift ever.'

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 18/12/2013 11:54

I worked on checkouts for years and its a really insensitive thing to say.I would report her.Email the manager.Its for her sake as well she might say it to the wrong person.Hope you have a nice Christmas op

Tailtwister · 18/12/2013 11:56

YANBU. They have no idea of people's circumstances.

Thanks for you OP. I've been there and it's so, so hard.

Sparklingbrook · 18/12/2013 11:58

How thoughtless One. is a little clip to make you smile. Smile

Hope you get a BFP very soon. x

CaptainHammer · 18/12/2013 12:00

YANBU. I would have gone crazy!
I really hope you reported it or could recognise her to report her next time you're there.

SettingPlaster · 18/12/2013 12:01

Sympathies, OP, and to all others on the thread trying to conceive. Of course YANBU. No way should someone handling your shopping comment on anything like pregnancy tests, condoms, adult incontinence pads, pile cream etc etc. Surely this is obvious, whether or not your intentions are good? Grr.

Sparklingbrook · 18/12/2013 12:06

I often think checkout operators don't even notice what they are scanning after a while. seems odd to comment on anything. Sad

CosyTeaBags · 18/12/2013 12:10

Just adding my support here - I am appalled that this happened to you OP. I too am TTC, and have occasionally bought potentially embarrassing stuff like 'Pregnacare' vitamins, a PG test etc from the supermarket. My biggest fear is bumping into someone I know while doing the rounds, and them seeing it in my trolley... Shock

I now buy all that stuff online - this is where internet shopping really comes into its own. Plus the packs of internet cheapie HPTs are great and way cheaper than the over packaged ones you get in the shops.

Sorry that this happened to you OP. I would be FURIOUS

Minithemoocher · 18/12/2013 12:12

This happened to me the first time I bought one (bfn). It was at Sainsbury's and I also left with a voucher for extra nectar points if next week I bought alcohol free bubbly. I was a bit shocked!!

MillicentTendancies · 18/12/2013 12:14

YANBU! I'd complain.

What does she say to people buying condoms? Or KY Jelly... the mind boggles.

TheHippyWhoWearsLippy · 18/12/2013 12:18

YANBU. You have all walks of life working behind tills & it can be easy for someone to not realise that they are "serving" customers not talking to a friend. I would make a complaint but that's because I work as a customer service trainer for a large company & this is not acceptable.

I wish you all the luck in the world

somedizzywhore1804 · 18/12/2013 12:18

Ynbu but she was probably just trying to be nice. Some people are just a bit insensitive. Good luck with the IVF OP.

HesterShaw · 18/12/2013 12:19

YANBU in the slightest.

Comment on someone's magazine, if you feel like chatting. Do not comment on a bloody pregnancy test.

Stupid woman.

Wuxiapian · 18/12/2013 12:19

YANBU.

She was totally unprofessional.

HesterShaw · 18/12/2013 12:20

Good luck with the IVF Flowers

Trooperslane · 18/12/2013 12:20

Does she ask people who buy pile cream if they have lots of grapes?

Aways ultra - you on the blob, love?

Condoms - off home for a shag, are we?

Silly woman.

Good luck with the ivf op. Been where you are and it's hell.

WineThanks

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/12/2013 12:22

Sorry OP, that's really rough. It obviously hit you hard. Agree that it's fine to comment on random items going over the conveyor belt, like "those yoghurts look nice, what are they like?" but personal stuff is a no-go area and that should be obvious really.

I'm sorry you were upset.

HeadingHome · 18/12/2013 12:31

I had a lady at a pharmacy once say something along the lines of "I hope you get the result you want". I thought that was gentle and sweet, but I was fairly support-deprived at the time, so any kindness was greatly appreciated! [just noticed how useless this post is...Hmm]

HeadingHome · 18/12/2013 12:34

BTW, OP - YNBU

frizzcat · 18/12/2013 12:36

I've had this happen to me at my local Sainburys and I was so pissed off, the girl in question held my Clearblue box up and said - "do you hope pregnant then?" When I gave her my death stare, she then said "oh sorry, do you not want a baby?". Through gritted teeth I told her to scan the box.
Once packed I went to customer service and asked for the duty manager and complained, he was mortified.

YANBU it's the embarrassment of other members of the public hearing that you're about to do a pregnancy test, as, in my case the shop was rammed. This is of course in addition to not knowing your personal circumstances ffs.

Sorry about you're IVF OP

cantheyseeme · 18/12/2013 12:43

When pg with dd1 i wanted to be extra sure but was poorly so asked my brother to pop and get me some boots tests, we lived in a tiny town where everyone knew everyones business and at the checkout the woman asked him "oooh does your mum know abour this?" WTAF! It mightve been understandable if he was a spotty teenager (although still inappropriate) but he was 26 at the time.... some people are bloody idiots.
Sorry about your bfn, it might be worth ordering online in future.
Thanks