To want to protect my Grandmother?

[Whoopiepie]

Name changed and I have posted here for traffic, as well as honest opinions as I'm very worried.

My grandfather died earlier this year, leaving my Grandmother obviously devastated. She is 80 and they'd spent their entire lives together. My grandfather always took care of everything financial and they each had an 'allowance' each month for personal spending. He made sure they were very comfortable financially and that my Grandmother would be well provided for in the event of his death. They both came from very poor backgrounds and so her not having to worry about finances was very important to him and he worked hard all his life to provide that.

My Father was estranged from my Grandparents for many years. I have had no contact with him, barring a couple of occasions, since I was a child. He's a nasty piece of work by all accounts and has been in trouble for fraud/embezzlement. He contacted my Grandparents again about 10 years ago. My grandfather always confided in me that he didn't trust my father and had made it explicit to him that he would not be included in their will. He was keen to facilitate contact for my Grandmothers sake, but told me that was the only reason and he wanted to be sure my father wasn't financially motivated. My grandmother, on the other hand, always believes my father can do no wrong and any 'mistakes' he has made are down to my stepmother, who he has now left. (Oddly enough, around the time her inheritance ran out... )

I've found out my father has been 'borrowing' sums of money from my grandmother. Nothing huge, but here and there with sob stories of how his ex wife got him into debt, he can't pay his bills, is having to work all hours due to this so can't see my Grandmother much etc. obviously this may all be true, but I'm very worried he is going to basically con her out of all her money and, god forbid, the house her and my grandfather shared, so she is left struggling with nothing. She could live another 20 years or so and my grandfather would want her to be comfortable.

I don't really see what I can do about it though? I have told her I don't trust him, but I'm doubting whether I should have even said that. I don't want to upset her, especially as she is still unbearably upset about my grandfather. I feel helpless.

I think if you can, I would speak directly to your dad. Let him know that you know what's going on and get him to back off. Before that, is there any way you can get a power of attorney. Tell your grandma that you want to protect the plans your grandfather put in place for her.

Would it be worth giving age concern a ring and chatting to them about it, it sounds like the sort of thing they would have experience with

I would suggest talking to your grandma about Power of Attorney you can get the forms off the internet or have a solicitor do them for you. This won't stop her from being able to give him money if she is able to make that desicion but may stop it being possible for him to have access to her accounts.
The trouble is if she has capacity to agree to making desicions about her finances and is aware of your and you late grandfathers views then there is very little you can do to stop her giving him the money. It is frustrating I know.

Unless she really doesn't want to have anything to do with her own finances she surely wouldn't hand over power of attorney would she? As far as I was aware someone with a capable mind and body would be strongly advised against this. Also unless you want to get into a situation of asking her to account for all the money you allow her to have then she could still lend to him if she wanted.

I would speak to your dad and ask him why he needs the money he is asking for, how much more he intends to borrow etc. try make sure he knows you're onto him. Then you need to really talk to your gran and make sure she never lends him anything she can't afford to lose. You can't stop it happening but you can talk to her.