to be annoyed that FIL took DS to see santa?

[lola88]

DS was only 11 mo last xmas so I was looking forward to taking him to see Santa this year because he kind if knows that Santa's coming and what he looks like but FIL took him before me without asking or telling me before hand and didn't even bring the picture to show me (they will keep the pic since they paid for it).

I know it sounds a bit petty but for some back ground info FIL and his partner fell out with me over hospital visits when DS was born and only seen him when he was 2 days old and xmas day last year until 3 month ago when they started to visit him so I feel a bit miffed that suddenly they are the dotting grandparents that couldn't resist when they only seen him twice until he was 18mo.

MIL who has always been there for DS is furious as we are taking him and my niece to see santa at a santa village thing and she feels like the shines gone a little so has been pushing me to say something but tbh I think she just doesn't like him, also my mum again has always been there is annoyed that they treated us badly for so long and have now upset DP and I so everyone's a bit annoyed at it. AIBU to tell them they need to ask things like this and put my foot down? I really don't want to fight with then or have them not speak to me again but I can't help feeling that they have turned up and taken over a little.

I wouldn't worry about it from your son's perspective. He's still far too young to understand Christmas. You can still enjoy you day with him seeing Santa. If it's the principle that FIL always does this type of thing, it's for your DP to talk to him. My DD has seen four different Santa's this year and has loved each experience.

Its the sort of thing people don't think about, so you should have said don't do it

I think most reasonably thoughtful people would realise that taking a small child to see FC for the first time is quite a big deal, and that parents might like to do it themselves, so to check first...? Your DP should be the one setting boundaries in future, if FIL continues in your child's life, but I don't think anything is to be gained by making more bad feeling retrospectively about this Santa visit.

Also, my son is about the same age, and we took him to see Santa last week. Despite him being friendly, sociable and curious as a rule, he took against Santa at a glance, roared, refused to go anywhere near him, and had to be taken out immediately....

I agree with the principal, but would echo what kelly said - in this instance (luckily) your DS is too young to notice. Take comfort from that :)

... and get your DP to sort his dad out.

I think that the first trip to see Santa is a big deal for parents, but not necessarily for anyone else. DD1's first visit to Santa last year, at a very similar age to OP's DS, wasn't great - she didn't like the strange man at all. She wouldn't have noticed anything odd if we'd taken her to a second Santa. This year, at almost 3, I think she's a better age.

Don't upset FIL by complaining after the event unless this is part of a pattern of usurping everyone with DS.

Take him again, OP, and enjoy it. Next year will be better though.