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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be furious about this, and should I report?

79 replies

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 16/12/2013 21:15

My job involves going into homes and sometimes schools.

Today the yr11's had to pay a pound to go to the show taking part in the afternoon (i believe its a talent show, some awards etc)

One lad in the group said he couldn't pay a pound. The teacher kept asking him why, and said have you got a pound?

He said yes, but it's for his dinner tomorrow.

Now it's pretty obvious the lad doesnt look well off, from his clothing etc.

Yet the teacher carried on in front of the whole class saying 'why cant you spare a pound. It's JUST a pound, stop being selfish' and kids in the class started joining in.

The boy looked so uncomfortable, it was heartbreaking. In the end he gave the pound.

Afterwards I had a word with the teacher, who still had the view that the boy was being selfish.

Was I unreasonable, and should I report it? Or would I be being silly?

OP posts:
NatashaBee · 16/12/2013 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 16/12/2013 21:23

Report. In writing. Ask for a response in writing within X amount of time and CC in relevant superiors

Thankyou, will do just that.

Thanks for the input everyone.

OP posts:
thecatfromjapan · 16/12/2013 21:24

Report it.

phantomnamechanger · 16/12/2013 21:24

I'd like to think the teacher knew the student, his family circumstances, and that he was just trying it on, and that this was just friendly banter, but it does not sound like it. Sad

Twoandtwomakeschaos · 16/12/2013 21:24

I'd report and slip him a pound.

ElvisJesusAndCocaCola · 16/12/2013 21:24

In similar circumstances, I would have found a way to find one of my students the money - perhaps for helping me either an easy errand (not being made to earn it in a punishment/I'm better the. You kind of way, though). Many of my colleagues would do something similar.

YANBU.

brettgirl2 · 16/12/2013 21:24

I'm just trying to be fair, the op has not met any of these people before. Perhaps he is just known for being tight and having a bit of a laugh? I don't believe a teacher would make him hand it over if he couldn't.

WireCatGlitteryBaubles · 16/12/2013 21:25

Report it.

I had no money as a teen at high school. If my free school meals ran out then I may have had some.

I'd have felt even crapper than normal.

She was not at all professional & IMO may have started a bullying campaign.

minimalisthoarder · 16/12/2013 21:25

Sounds like bullying to me. Report it - if the teacher genuinely hasn't done anything wrong, it'll soon be found out.

Straitjacket · 16/12/2013 21:25

Definitely report! That poor boy Sad

MatryoshkaDoll · 16/12/2013 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brettgirl2 · 16/12/2013 21:27

I used to teach and honestly ime those who could least afford it parted with cash for charity most readily Sad .

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 16/12/2013 21:30

brettgirl I have met both the teacher and the boy before. And his younger brother.

OP posts:
hoobypickypicky · 16/12/2013 21:30

Please report, put it in writing and demand a written reply. That's awful OP. :(

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 16/12/2013 21:31

two I did feel like giving him some money then remembered how proud I was at his age and didn't want to embarrass him further. Arrgh I should have given him some.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 16/12/2013 21:32

The issue isn't if he could afford to give the pound. The issue is the bullying attitude of the teacher...

wongadotmom · 16/12/2013 21:32

Yes report the bully.
Evil prevails when good people do nothing.

ChrisMooseMickey · 16/12/2013 21:34

Thats so awful Sad definately report it!!

brettgirl2 · 16/12/2013 21:35

so you report.

all I'm saying is when I was a year 11 tutor two of the poorest kids would hand over their pound first.

brettgirl2 · 16/12/2013 21:35

and they were also the smartest dressed

Mim78 · 16/12/2013 21:41

Report it, definitely.

MinesAPintOfTea · 16/12/2013 21:46

Brett reading between the lines the op is professionally involved with this boy and knows the situation well enough to judge. And even if he was being tight the response should be "see me at break" to discuss the mater without an audience or "ok, you'll miss out then". Not humiliation.

Report it op

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 16/12/2013 21:49

Yes mines is right, I didn't want to go into too much detail in the OP

OP posts:
DejaVuAllOverAgain · 16/12/2013 21:49

brettgirl2 if the boy had been the son of a millionaire the teacher had no right to humiliate him like that. Encouraging the other children to join in is bullying pure and simple.

YANBU

DoYouLikeMyBaubles · 17/12/2013 20:12

I went in this morning, was lucky enough to get a meeting with the head then and there (shine a light, can't do this for my own kid)

She wasn't impressed at all, and assured me she would be taking it further, I mentioned I'd put it into writing and would refer further if needed. She did express that the boy was having a hard time, and this probably made it that bit worse so was completely unacceptable on the teacher's part.

She also said she'd make sure he got a meal, without being too intrusive about it - and would see if both lads are getting free school meals etc, and any support they might need (although I do question why this isnt happening anyway since she acknowledged he was having a hard time of it)

I'll be back in the school possibly after christmas, I'll ask if it has been 'resolved', without asking for detail obviously.

Thankyou everyone for your input.

OP posts: