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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want DC's dad and GM to take DD to see Father Christmas?

18 replies

ViviDeHohohoVoir · 16/12/2013 17:13

Ok, I mean 'Father Christmas' the show, not actual Father Christmas!

A little history:
DD is treated much better than her 2 brothers by GM - gets presents etc when they get nothing (you get the picture).
GM is not very hands on and often says she'd like to see the DC but then 'something comes up' (doesn't stop her moaning about not seeing them)
She also drinks too much and doesn't engage very well when she sees the DC (sits on the edge of the sofa, talking about the company she works for, ignoring DC)
She is also in quite poor health (just had bowel surgery) and not able to do too much.

Today, DC's dad has called me up saying him and his mum want to take DD out of school (she's the eldest) to take her to a showing of Father Christmas and to do activities afterwards.

They want to leave the two boys (3 and 1) in nursery while they do it 7.30 - 6.30)
I'm at work on the day it is on (1 hour drive away) and they will be 40 minutes train ride away from our town.
I only started back at work last week and am only doing one day a week until I go back properly so I can't take the day off.

This is only DS2's second full day in nursery ever (the last one was horrendous and he was upset for most of it)
As it is, DD is looking forward to her Christmas party at school and has made gifts for her teachers and her friends which she is looking forward to giving.
The show is on until 16 January but apparently only showings before Christmas and when DD is at school are good enough.

AIBU to say 'no'?

OP posts:
FantasticDay · 16/12/2013 17:18

It sounds like the boys are a bit little to take to a show tbh. But I don't think they should take her out of school. Doesn't she break up this week? What's wrong with going weekend/next week?

ViviDeHohohoVoir · 16/12/2013 17:19

Forgot to say that DC's dad is in a massive strop with me now and is refusing to discuss it. So I need to know if I'm being U!

OP posts:
bluecheeseforbreakfast · 16/12/2013 17:20

Yanbu to say no bassed on tge absence from school, everything else is irrelevant.

ElbowPrincess · 16/12/2013 17:21

No, she should not be missing school for it - there is 2 weeks of holidays coming up!

ViviDeHohohoVoir · 16/12/2013 17:21

That's what I suggested fantasticday.

I said it'd be a lot nicer if they took DD to do that while the boys did something nice too. But he only wants her to go this week. Later December/January is 'too late'. (DD is 4)

OP posts:
babybearsmummy · 16/12/2013 17:21

If you're not happy with it, then YANBU!!

Ruffcat · 16/12/2013 17:22

I think you could say they take her once school is over and he also takes the boys out aswell on a desperate occasion

ViviDeHohohoVoir · 16/12/2013 17:23

Trouble is, by the time school is over and they travel there it'll be finished.

OP posts:
ViviDeHohohoVoir · 16/12/2013 17:39

I checked the listing and it's recommended for 2-6 year olds so DS1 would be ok with it too.

OP posts:
Lemongrab · 16/12/2013 17:43

Yanbu at all. I wouldn't let them take her out of school to go.

WinterWinds · 16/12/2013 17:50

No YANBU. Let her finish her last week at school, Christmas week at school is usually the most exciting, they definitely shoudn't take her during school hours.
Tell them they will have to wait a few more days for Christmas break or not at all.

WinterWinds · 16/12/2013 17:52

I think Ruffcat actually meant once school is over for the holidays rather that after the school day finishes Smile

Ragwort · 16/12/2013 17:56

Just say - which is quite true - that the school isn't happy for your DD to be taken out.

I don't think it matters if your DD does something special with her grandparents that the younger children don't do (my DGPs used to take me to lots of things without my brothers Blush) but I think the main issue is that it is not appropriate to be taken out of school.

SwishAndFlick · 16/12/2013 17:57

YANBU. My dd is 4 and she would be very disappointed if she missed giving her friends cards & presents that she made even if the alternative was a fun day out.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 16/12/2013 17:58

YANBU, they shouldn't take her out of school.

ViviDeHohohoVoir · 16/12/2013 18:01

Phew! Am so glad I'm not being U.
I thought lots of replies would say 'it's the last day of term, so what?'

I am mostly concerned about the missing school thing as I think DD would be disappointed when she thought about it later IYSWIM and I'm just not happy about her missing school for no real reason.
I am a bit annoyed that they can't be arsed usually and this is the third time since September they've asked to take her out of school for a day out. (Including one day when she was ill with croup and they wanted to take her out!)

OP posts:
CosyTeaBags · 16/12/2013 18:03

Stand your ground - YANBU - she is looking forward to her last days of term and there is no good reason why they can't take her during her holidays.

And yes, you could always use the school as an excuse if you need backup - just say that they don't allow them to take days off.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 16/12/2013 18:03

Yanbu as they could take her while she is off, they should take ds1 as well imo, unless he is unlikely to sit still/wouldnt enjoy it.

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