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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

regarding my new neighbours music.

28 replies

codered · 16/12/2013 14:57

i have a new neighbour, shes nice if over keen to be friends. her children are the same age as mine and id like to keep things on an even keel
however
her music is so loud. so loud i can sing along to the lyrics when im in my living room..
which is 4 walls and 2 doors away from her stereo.

its not everyday but pretty frequent. when she moved ini cut her slack thinking she might not realise how the sound travels but following a 4am party sat and blaringmusic this afternoon ( cam hear it from the pavement when i went to my car) im fucked off.

aibu to be cross?
and
would i be an utter cow to text her and asl her to turn it down?

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 16/12/2013 14:59

Yanbu. But YABU to text her.....she lives next door, knock on the door and ask her in person.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 16/12/2013 15:00

It is a nuisence and you can report her to the council (esp re 4am party). I would try a informal approach first just letting her know that the sound carries further than she might think.

If it carries on then I would get the council involved.

SqueakyCleanLibertine · 16/12/2013 15:01

YABU to be 'fucked of' when you haven't even mentioned it yet.

Original poster
codered · 16/12/2013 15:01

thats quite confrontational though... and ill get dragged in and shes been quite full on trying to be my friend thati want to avoid a bit.

OP posts:
angelos02 · 16/12/2013 15:03

Just calmly say to her that you can hear the music. If she's a halfway decent person she'll be embarrassed. I was mortified when my neighbour said she could hear my music.

Lj8893 · 16/12/2013 15:05

Knocking on the door and politely mentioning that you can hear her music and would she mind turning it down a little wouldn't be confrontational at all.

And if she invites you in politely decline as your busy whatever, there's no need for you to be dragged in.

Ragwort · 16/12/2013 15:13

Don't text, I know it isn't easy but you have to knock on the door and politely say something. Do it when the music is blaring.

Tailtwister · 16/12/2013 15:16

You need to speak to her face to face and tell her the music is disturbing you. Don't send a text.

Original poster
codered · 16/12/2013 15:32

Bugger, i was hoping more people would go with the text idea.

Is that really a total no no?

i was just going to say something like
' not to be a total kill joy, but could you turn your music down a bit, the walls are really thin'

knocking and saying that feels a little bit like victor meldrew.
And she seems nice and i dont want to cause a ' thing' but equally im getting narked now.

OP posts:
Homebird11 · 16/12/2013 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lj8893 · 16/12/2013 15:44

Yep, a text is more likely to come across ruder than to her face. You can't smile politely in a text!

Original poster
codered · 16/12/2013 15:46

not even if i add a smiley.

oh no :(

Theres no other way round it is there? i dont even have a stereo to play loudly so she gets the hint.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 16/12/2013 15:48

Texting is awful. Passive aggressive.

Why not be super nice - invite her round for coffee and some nice cake, get all chummy Grin and then say, very nicely, "it's great to have you as a neighbour but I hope you don't mind me mentioning that your music is very loud. I would hate us to have any misunderstanding over this so please could I ask you to turn it down. Now, what are you doing for Christmas etc etc ............"

PeterParkerSays · 16/12/2013 15:51

If you both have kids, she should know that your's are asleep on a Saturday night. Knock next time and just do "Hi Sam, the music's a bit loud for the kids to stay asleep, could you turn it down a bit please?

Original poster
codered · 16/12/2013 15:51

Ive not got time to invite her round... we are both working lone parents.
Plus, ive been trying to avoid her due to her being full on ie - drunk 2am texts telling me how much she loves me, constantly asking me round etc.

I sound like a cow, shes nice. I just dont want to live in her pocket right now and inviting her round is just going to encourage something i dont want.

OP posts:
PrimalLass · 16/12/2013 15:53

I would much rather have a text with a smiley face.

Smoorikins · 16/12/2013 15:58

Buy her a pair of wireless headphones as a gift, labeled as 'from the neighbours' and hope she gets the hint?

Lj8893 · 16/12/2013 16:04

Definitely don't get a stereo to play loudly!!!!

No need to invite her round or get too chummy.

Next time the music is loud, knock on her door,

"Hi, hope you don't mind me knocking but could I ask you to turn the music down a bit please? These walls are quite thin, hope you don't find my tv/kids/whatever too loud! Can't stop, I've left the oven on, thanks though, catch up soon!!"

Merrow · 16/12/2013 16:05

I've had a neighbour come round to ask us to keep our music down. We hadn't realised the sound had travelled, they were perfectly polite, we exchanged moans about the rubbish sound insulation in new flats, no hard feelings on either side!

letzygonsbezyons · 16/12/2013 16:53

when my neigbiur was playing music so loud it knocked a painting off the wall, I asked him to come in and mind if he heard it for himself. he didntrealise it was so loud and turned it down aftr an apology. still plays it loud but down a couple of notches.
shell only realise (if she gets a bit narky) if se goes in your houseand hears it for herself.

letzygonsbezyons · 16/12/2013 17:11

O great. JUST as I post this they fecking start with it AGAIN. Ruining our xmas by miles.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 16/12/2013 17:52

letz
Noise can be a statutory nuisence and your local council will have a team that deal with it.

Keep a diary of when the noise occurs and call the council. We had very noisy neighbours and we reported them to the council because it was making our lives a misery.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 16/12/2013 17:55

Nuisance even!

Nuisance, in this context, is a legal term covering (amongst other things) a situation where someone allows something to escape from their land / premises and negatively affect others.

letzygonsbezyons · 16/12/2013 18:01

been down that road and my council wont do anything about it. we are trying to move out. tried for ages to ge them to deal wit I but they wont as its during the day and normally stops by 11 pm. and the also bang doors loud and shout as they know council don't do anything about that either.

OP Is your neighbour next door to you? can others hear her?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 16/12/2013 18:05

Most of our noise nuisance was also during the day and the council did deal with it Confused. Mind you, the music was loud enough to make our windows shake.

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