to think this can't be ok?

[happyon]

My MIL is in her late 80s and lives on the other side of the country from all her children. She is a very nervous type but drives everywhere. All her kids agree they wouldn't allow their own children in the car with her as her driving is so awful, but no one wants to do anything about getting her off the road. They say she would be lost without her car and this is true, but as far as I am concerned her independence should not come at the expense of the safety of the people who live in her town.

She's not my mum so I can't step in, but it seems so, so wrong to me that she is on the road.

YANBU as she could seriously hurt someone if she's as bad as you make out. I had a friend who was driven into in ASDA carpark by an old fella and she was seriously hurt. Her car was a write-off. He hit the gas instead of the brake.

YANBU I really do think people should be made to have regularly driving standards tests to make sure they are safe to drive (and not just old people!). I don't necessarily think it needs to be as rigorous as your first driving test but you should be able to drive to a basic safety standard.

I've come across quite a few elderly folk on the hospital ward I work where the medical team contacted the DVLA to prevent the patient(s) driving again.

One 90 odd year old man was brought in with acute confusion after police stopped him driving the wrong way down the motorway.

One lady in her 80's burnt out 3 clutches in a year and wrapped her car around a tree. I could go on...

Whenever I'm out in the car, the most problems I get are with very elderly drivers pulling out in front of me, going down one way systems the wrong way etc.

I think her GP can inform the DVLA but if she doesn't do it or the family doesn't want to do it then I'm afraid it will be a case of waiting for an accident.

IME that's what happens sadly.

YANBU she could really hurt herself or someone else. What a position to be in, your dh should sort it out.

YANBU. We've recently done this with my grandad-in-law (well, my FIL was the one to have a word).

They costed up the price of getting a taxi once a week for the shopping plus the cost of taxis for the times when they wanted to go further than the local village. Their children took on the commitment of fetching and dropping them for family events. The cost of taxis worked out cheaper than owning, insuring and running a car. So Grandad agreed to stop driving and everyone heaved a sigh of relief.

Glad I'm not BU. I just don't know what to do as they won't act. My parents are elderly too and if they were carrying on like this, I'm afraid I would tell the police rather than risk them killing someone. I think is part of not wanting to face up to bigger problems with her living arrangements, but that's another story ...

My DH has glaucoma and is under 2 clinics at Moorefield's Eye Hospital in London. On his last two visits they have asked him has he let the DVLA know which he did he was then sent to our Opticians to have what is called a Field Test which they then send the results to the DVLA.

He had to wait for 5 weeks for the results from the DVLA which has said he meets their medical criteria and they will contact him again when his present licence expires in 2016.

Our nephew is an optician and he was telling us that neither he or a Doctor can't write to the DVLA and say they don't think so and so should be driving. We were always under the impression they could do that. They have to tell the patient that they don't think they are fit to drive and to contact the DVLA and it is up to them if they do or not but they have to make a note on their file that they have told the patient.

Someone we know husband's has vascular dementia and his children thought he shouldn't be driving so found his licence and sent it together with a letter to the DVLA they sent it back to his GP who called him in and asked did he want to still drive of course he said yes so GP signed form and said fit to drive and sent back to DVLA. His children are horrified as he is a menace on the road doesn't know where he is going twice his wife who is a non driver has had to stop him going the wrong way down a duel carriageway. She is partly to blame as well as she likes to be driven around even if it is dangerous.

Its a bit sneaky, passive aggressive too maybe but perhaps an anonymous tip off? I would feel awful tho.