Questing myself - am I right about saying no?

[FourLittleDudes]

Ds1 is in year 7 (age 11) and had an accident at school a couple of weeks ago, he's been on crutches since, still can't put weight on the leg/foot and is still under the hospital for it.

Every day last week exH has been able to come and pick him up and drop him to and from school by car, however this week he is on a different shift and can't do it. I don't drive.

The school is a 5-10 minute walk to the bus stop, then a 10 minute walk from the stop to the school. I think it would take him twice as long on crutches. I haven't been able to find anyone to drop him to and from school so was planning on contacting the school and having work sent home via a class mate for him.

Last week he was knocked from his crutches at school and was in considerably more pain for it. Also one afternoon the lift in school was out of order and he had to come down 2 flights of stairs on his bottom. He has spent sometime working in the teachers office to avoid crowds and had his dinner bought to him so he didnt have to queue.

However, exH doesn't want him not to be in school and has arranged for his mother to pick ds1 up in the morning (which is kind of her) but she can't bring him home in the afternoon.

I don't want him getting the bus. One because of the walking involved, and two because I don't think a crowded bus of school children and a child on crutches is a good idea!

AIBU to say thank you but no thank you to exHs mother? ExH won't be impressed, but i think it's for the best. WWYD?

Could he get a taxi back?

I thought about him getting a taxi back but it will cost £36 for the week, with dinner money on top. I can't afford it and neither can exH, especially the week before Christmas.

I would ask the school what they suggest TBH - if you are on benefits there may be some sort of temporary funding or direct from the school funding for transport. or there may be a teacher willing to run him about.

What does DS think? Does he want to stay home? Have you spoken to the school about the situation?

I would arrange for a taxi to pick him up from school tbh and accept the lift in the morning from exMIL.

I would ring his HOY tomorrow and ask that this week he works in the library and stays on ground level.

FWiW I work in a school and they would rather have the child in school and start, leave 5 mins earlier than everyone else than not come in at all.

Well I would forgo the dinner money, send him with a pack up and use the money for taxis.

Every child in our school who comes with an injury and has difficulty getting around is seen by our business manager for health and safety reasons, it is also reviewed if an ongoing problem to see how they are managing etc.

Can he not leave school 10/15 minutes early to get the the bus stop?

Contact the council's school transport department. He's entitled to free transport in these circumstances.

I don't think your desire to protect your child while he is on crutches is unresaonable at all. One of my childrnen recently had to use crutches for some weeks and the school helped by moving some of his lessons so that he didn't have to struggle with stairs (and the risk of injury). We were fortunate in that I was able to take him to and from school while he was using crutches so didn't have your transport difficulty but I do sympathise.

Would you be able to discuss both transport and access with the school? They sound as though they have been able to make some arrangements for DC and there may be funding available for transport? Personally, I wouldn't be too concerned though about DC missing school this week - just before Christmas there may be little real work being done and everyone may be tired/looking forward to the holidays.

His HOY has been really good - I have a good relationship with the school as DS1 is a SEN student (nothing that would affect his travel though, he has been getting to and from school on the bus fine since September) but when I've asked him about getting a taxi he has said he is uncomfortable about the idea of being alone in a car with a stranger although I think he could cope with it if he has too.

I'm pretty sure the school would accomadate him needing to stay on the ground floor, they have already offered to let him leave 10 minutes early when exH was picking him up to avoid him getting knocked about by other students, especially after being deliberately knocked over last week. It's the walking to and from the bus stop which worries me too as he can't even get up the stairs to bed and has been sleeping on the sofa since his accident.

He isn't overly keen on school but will say that he doesn't mind struggling in, it's me that is doing the worrying, perhaps in part because he is my eldest and I've been finding it difficult that I've had to let go so much and let him make his own way and his own choices.

I will have to ring the school and ask about funds, I'm embarrassed to do it though to be honest.

I want him to work from home, it was awful last week when the school phoned to say some kids had knocked him down, I wanted to race to the school and get him but couldn't. I feel that he might get shoved around on the bus and hurt. I can't meet him from the bus as I will be picking ds2 up.

I am over thinking it all probably.

I will definately look up the council school transport number too, thank you.

He doesn't really do all that much in school at the moment. We have an arrangement with them that he participates in lessons, but doesn't work from the board or write the class notes until he has finished learning to touch type

• he wouldn't keep up. He has quite severe dyslexia, but it's very bright and remembers the information but can't he it down on paper easily. He is in top sets for subjects but doesn't have to do the homework as long as I've read through it with him and he understands the work. His teachers give me copies of the class work and homework so thinking about it, he wouldn't really be missing much.

My brain is mush. Naughty toddler and teething baby means I am totally sleep deprived and incapable of making a simple decision.

YANBU about him getting the bus. I broke my arm when I was 11 and managed to lose my satchel getting on the bus on my only attempt to get home that way, and it obviously didn't involve crutches. My retired grandfather stepped in to pick me up (and didn't stop until he died when I was 17, bless him) but if you don't have that option then I don't think you're being unreasonable to keep him at home unless the LA can fund transport. Certainly when work colleagues have broken lower limbs, they don't come to work unless they have a lift or work pays for a taxi. I'd say that applies more so for a child. I did wonder whether you could make your way to school and get the taxi back with him if being on his own is a worry for him, but with a toddler and a baby I can see that's not really an option.

Could he perhaps wait a bit at school until after the main exodus and either travel independently then, or you meet him after collecting ds2?

I'd keep him off tomorrow and phone the school and see what they say/offer. They may be perfectly happy to send some work home for him (and it is the last week in term). If they're happy to come to some sort of arrangement then I don't think it's really up to XP.

By which I mean, it's XP who is driving this, not school. School may be perfectly happy for him to miss a few days or come up with an alternative travel plan.