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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Santa Yes or No

34 replies

slippytoes · 15/12/2013 20:14

I feel really bad about lying to DD! To start with, I only told her the whole Santa story because family insisted insert here typical bullshit about ruining christmas forever etc. But I realise that now she's older, at the same time I'm encouraging her to learn more about science and trust in me, I'm also deliberately lying to her by telling her there's a flying fat man who brings toys to children! She's 6 already, and while I don't want to burst her bubble, I keep throwing hints at her (like how do you think reindeers can fly, or how can he deliver so many toys, etc). My fear is that she will find out by other children in her school and then she won't trust me again (I remember I was really disappointed with my old folks when I found out the truth about santa and the tooth fairy).

AIBU? I suppose others have come across this before. Did you tell your children about Santa and if so, did you let them find out or did you have a little talk with them when they were older?

OP posts:

Yellowcake · 16/12/2013 09:54

Mine is only one, but we're not planning to tell him Santa is real. I was very upset at being lied to as a child, and it shook my trust in my parents and adults in general, but my real issue is that the real reason for the widespread Santa myth is nothing to do with childhood magic but because it suits commercial interests.

A parent buying Christmas presents can say, 'Look, sweetheart, we just can't afford a quad bike/iPad/xBox this year', or 'You said you wanted X, and we bought it for you, you can't say on Christmas Eve that you've changed your mind and want Y.' A parent pretending the presents they bought come from Santa can't do any of these things, because Santa is magic and not constrained by costs, logistics, and end up tying themselves into knots and spending money they don't have.

Rosesarebeautiful · 16/12/2013 11:17

To get round the endless list that could be created by Santa I used to tell the children- yes Santa brings the presents, but we give him money for them. So there's a limit!

Don't know/care how people will view that. The children got to enjoy 'Santa', but it was with our financial limits in mind

TheRealAmandaClarke · 16/12/2013 11:28

FC is real in our house.
I loved the magic of FC as a child. I want my dcs to have that too.
We will make a list, vist FC locally, leave out a mince pie and drink.

I'm not convinced about NORAD tracking though, or leaving snowy footprints. I mean,I don't want to look like a loon

firesidechat · 16/12/2013 12:01

No.

I also had a conversation with my adult daughter and she said that she would do the same. Her reasoning was that she saw lots of her friends being incredibly upset when they eventually found out that he didn't exist and she was happy to be spared this. She doesn't appear to have been even slightly deprived by a lack of FC in her life.

Oh and we all LOVE Christmas!

Scholes34 · 16/12/2013 12:30

Certainly I haven't gone all the way on the Santa myth. But Santa is still the person in our house who puts out all the presents once everyone's gone to bed, and now that DC1 is 17, that's getting later and later. As an adult at my parents' home, I loved putting presents under the tree early, but loved it even more to come down on Christmas Day to find lots more had appeared over night. Now, with older DCs, we're still a "he's been!" household and long may it continue.

Original poster

slippytoes · 16/12/2013 12:35

Thanks, I think I have made up my mind now. Thanks for all your replies! (well, tbh I could have done without the 'get a grip ones' ).

Also, sorry for having used the word 'bullshit". I am a non-native English speaker and I didn't know it was that 'strong'. I certainly didn't want to offend anyone!

OP posts:

Zipadeedoodah · 16/12/2013 12:37

I don't think you have to spell it out to them, my DD is 10 and I'm sure she's cottoned on, but nobody sat down and had a big chat about it, and she still continues with the same evening prep etc for her younger siblings because she knows without it...it would be a little but boring and less magical.
Also quite annoying when parents don't " play along" when younger kids are around.

yourusername123456789 · 16/12/2013 12:43

I don't remember believing really, I had older brothers and sisters who told me it wasn't real from a young age, but then I refused to sing Jingle Bells at Christmas parties as that supposedly brought him and I was scared of the big fat red man, so I suppose I must have believed at somepoint?

SlimJiminy · 16/12/2013 12:47

YABU.

A friend with older brothers burst my bubble when I was 5. I remember it vividly (in the school hall at dinner time) and I wish, wish, wish I'd had a few more years of believing. I feel like I was robbed!

The cost thing wasn't really an issue because we always knew when we wrote our lists, that Father Christmas (never Santa) wouldn't be able to deliver all of them and he'd choose which ones we got.

I asked for a human-sized remote control robot for a few years running and was hardly ever never in the slightest bit bothered to find it hadn't been delivered on Christmas morning...

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