Sigh. It is so disturbing how many people just don't get that sometimes, with the best will in the world, life falls apart in a spectacular way and that as a society, we benefit from having a welfare state in terms of lower crime rates and a society where our children's lives aren't shortened 'cos of dirty water or for the lack of immunisation or even basic nutrition.
I have three children. I didn't plan it that way. I have no idea where the third one came from but there you go, he's here and I do my best by him. My children's father walked out on us and 5 years later, the CSA and the court system haven't been able to get him to pay any maintenance. I work full time - as a teacher - and I am in receipt of tax credits which help pay childcare. I have played about with the figures a bit this afternoon and I am pretty sure that I would struggle to continue working if I received no financial support from the state for the third child. I simply couldn't afford him. I have no time to take on a second job, I work about 60 hours a week as it is. I could afford my children, absolutely, when they were conceived. My ex and I ran a successful business and our eldest child was in private school with the other two set to follow. So a full-time single mum (not by choice) in a professional position under this new proposal would mean that I would be forced to consider what happens to my children....the youngest to go into care? all three children to be cared for by their father full-time because he earns more than me (and that would mean they would never see me again because their father sees me as unnecessary in their lives, as it stands he simply 'allows' me to look after them but he genuinely believes he could take them from me if he wanted to) despite the fact that I was a stay at home mum for many years (because we could afford it) and the children had been brought up by me? the children to be split between parents and brought up apart, rather than as a family unit?
The Government has legislation aimed at making NRPs support their children. Unfortunately, when an NRP is self-employed, there are many legal loop holes that can be jumped through which reduce maintenance payments to nothing or very little. I have bombarded my MP with details of my situation - and would suggest any other PWC in my situation do the same - but the fact of the matter is, there will be no change because the self employed need some kind of incentive to try and build business, create jobs, pay taxes....and this is inconsistent with their need to pay for their children.
So for me, it would be very much a tax on me, as a working mother who after marrying someone she had lived with, after travelling and getting a good education, after developing a career and having a secure home to bring babies home to, was left to clear up the mess my ex left me with. I did nothing 'wrong' and all my ducks were very securely lined up in a row. But I still ended up reliant on state handouts. It would also be a tax on my elderly mother who, rather than spend her hard earned money in old age, has done everything she can to make sure her grandchildren don't go without and have a secure roof over their heads. My ex, of course, free to have additional children and support his (various) partner's children.
You can't get insurance against a spouse deciding they want out and becomming a total twat in the process. Savings would only have helped if they were in my name only, not in a joint bank account my ex cleared out. The house would have still been repossessed because it was in joint names on a joint mortgage that I wasn't in a position to be able to pay myself. The court system could, perhaps, have helped avoid this had it worked a little more quickly. But I only got into court 'cos my mum paid for it as I didn't qualify for legal aid (and the rules on that have changed so much now that very, very few people will qualify for it).
When you are shouting 'stop being irresponsible by having children you can't afford', I hope you remember that not everyone who is struggling today was always in that situation. And that people who are struggling are usually doing as much, if not more, than can be reasonably expected of them to improve their lot. And those of you who think that 'parents' should be responsible for their children, some of us are only one person who have to do the job of two...and the Government is very, very much happy to leave that as it is.