AIBU to be fed up of talking to myself?

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

DP has been out of work for a few months after working agency jobs over the summer. He is starting his own business in January and is waiting on funding, this is all underway, but its a lot of meetings and paperwork etc. Basically jumping through hoops and in the meantime he is in limbo. I am in college full time.

But every evening, all weekend and any days I have off college, we do nothing. Ok we have no money, but fgs, we could go for a walk or something.

He just sits on his phone (we have broadband in the house but no laptop so we use wifi on our phones) watching videos on you tube or looking at things for his business. He reads all the gossip websites and goes on car forums.

If I suggest we go for a walk there's always an issue, its too cold, nearly dark, he's only up etc. I come on here as I am so bored. The rest of the time I am playing with the DDs, baking and doing homework with DD1 or reading books with DD2. But they want him to join in and he just doesn't.

If I try to talk to him he grunts, or I get a reply 5 minutes after I have spoken. I get that he's annoyed about being out of work, and that he's in limbo with the business, but he just doesn't want to engage with us at all.

Occasionally he will play with the DDs for 10mins and then acts like he's been doing it all day and goes back to the internet. He does clean, but if I ask him to do anything I am treating him like a slave.

:(

I don really have any advice, I'm sure others will be along to help, but I wanted to reply given the nature of your post and its title.
Could you and DD go out and do stuff without him if he won't engage?

maybe look for other mums to join you on an evening power walk once or twice a week

I think you need a bit of time outside of home for yourself

I'm afraid I don't really have any answers (am LP) but screens can easily do that to people, but I do get that going for a walk might not feel enthralling, but another one a bit concerned that you’re not getting faster responses given the title.

Would creating a set time in the house when everyone's screens have to be off, help him engage without making it just about him?

His is the only screen really, DDs are 4 and 1. I have suggested it but he just groans.

I am in college full time and I go for lunch with a friend every few weeks, so I have time to myself, and if I wanted to go out more he wouldn't care, he would see to them, but that's just basic things like food and clothes and nappies and bedtime. But I want to spend time with him, as a family.

We used to. We would go out for walks, feed the ducks, go to local events etc. But now we are just stuck in the house day in day out. If I said I was going to go out with the DDs he would come along but it would feel like I had forced him and he would moan that he's tired.

make him come along, I think in tile he will start enjoying it
I guess he is stressed and doesn't want to worry you.

I hear you. Not the same situation, but similar. Dh is stressed out most days lately and seems to be in a fog most nights.

I feel like I say this all the time on here, but do you have Netflix? I feel like it's saved our marriage. We've been binge watching shows together after DD goes to bed.

We don't have netflix, but we do have on demand and we record films on the youviex box all the time. Even if its a film he really wants to watch he has his phone out the whole way through.

I have tried everything. Thing is, if I talk to him about it properly, and make him listen, he will make an effort for a few days and go back to the same.

He sounds disconnected. Maybe even depressed. He's in limbo, and probably stressed about the huge undertakings you've got coming, and christmas too. I'm not quite sure how you'd go about addressing that, but it might give you a starting point.