Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make him smoke outside?

22 replies

PistletoeAndWhine · 15/12/2013 12:45

Background...me and DH gave up smoking 6 months ago. It was always ok to smoke in the house before then (I know)...then we woke up. We were always skint, and value our kid's healths (dd6, ds2).

Now hetr's the issue: DB resents the fact that he has to suddenly trawl down two flights of stairs (2nd floor flat) whenever he wants a fag. He smokes 60 a day ffs. I've said no to smoking on the balcony..my washing is out there...and he thinks I'm selfish...apparently, the damage has been done already by me and DH, so him smoking in my house won't do any more harm!! AIBU or is he a twunthorse??

OP posts:
Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 15/12/2013 12:46

He's a twat. Does he live there?

ilovepowerhoop · 15/12/2013 12:47

no, you are not unreasonable. If you are not smoking in the flat then neither should he.

Original poster
PistletoeAndWhine · 15/12/2013 12:50

No thumb he doest't. He's coming for Christmas though.

OP posts:
ReluctantBeing · 15/12/2013 12:53

You surely won't have washing out on Christmas Day, so let him smoke in the balcony just for that day.

sapfu · 15/12/2013 12:54

YANBU

I expect 2 flights of stairs is hard on the lungs when you smoke 60 a day. I also expect this irony is lost on him.

V well done to you and dh on giving up though!

QuintessentialShadows · 15/12/2013 12:56

Tell him the exercise is good for him. Maybe he will even cut down if he has to go down. You are doing him a massive favour.

AnyFuckersfrogslegs35 · 15/12/2013 13:01

Yadnbu - he should have respect in someone elses home.

cranberryorange · 15/12/2013 13:03

Buy him an E cig for xmas. There are some great threads on here recommending the best ones.

I use the Totally Wicked E Go C and gave up after 27 years because i got fed up of mooching up the end of the garden in all winds and weather 20 times a day!

YADNBU

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 15/12/2013 13:04

Well if he doesn't live there then he's even more of a twat.
It might help him cut down and give his lungs a bit of a rest from the smoke on Christmas Day Xmas Wink
As for smoking on the balcony, just no! Apart from anything else, he'll come in stinking of faaaags, and probably keep the window/door open so he can still chat so you'll all get wafts of it anyway.

Stick to your guns! he has the choice as to whether he'll put up with it or not.

BerryChristmas · 15/12/2013 13:04

YABU to not let him smoke on the balcony Xmas Confused. Give and take, an all that !

Bluestocking · 15/12/2013 13:05

He is being VVVVU. He knows he should give up too and is angry with you for giving up.
Would you mind him smoking on the balcony on Christmas Day? Is the washing the real reason or does he stand by the door and blow the smoke back into the room?

Original poster
PistletoeAndWhine · 15/12/2013 13:06

Thank u so much. And xmas day balcony...good idea xxx

OP posts:
redshifter · 15/12/2013 13:08

But him an e cig but let him smoke on the balcony

redshifter · 15/12/2013 13:10

Do you ever visit your brother? Will you visit him in the future? What would you do then?

redshifter · 15/12/2013 13:10

Do you ever visit your brother? Will you visit him in the future? What would you do then?

NurseRoscoe · 15/12/2013 13:17

I used to smoke but I would go out on my balcony to smoke, my kids didn't ask to breathe in my second hand smoke so why should they have no choice?! I live on a 3rd floor flat too and I allow any visitors to smoke on my balcony if they shut the doors, this time of year I use my tumble dryer or the radiators to dry washing as the weather is rarely good enough to have washing out there so could you do this just for the time he is there?

Original poster
PistletoeAndWhine · 15/12/2013 13:19

Blue the balcony is attatched to our lounge an yes, the dpor will be left open for him to blow smoke in. Please don't think I'm slagging off smokers...hell no!! I understand more than anyone how addictive it is. Just that DB has ruined xmas before,and am trying to avoid a row xxx

OP posts:
whereisshe · 15/12/2013 13:22

Well, he's wrong for a start. The damage from inhaling cigarette smoke (second or first hand) is reversible. The cilia in the lungs do recover.

Stand your ground - you're being completely reasonable to look after your children's health. He's just being lazy and making up reasons to justify his laziness.

(arf at sapfu I expect 2 flights of stairs is hard on the lungs when you smoke 60 a day. I also expect this irony is lost on him.)

trixymalixy · 15/12/2013 13:23

Yanbu. How do people manage to smoke 60 a day? Does he just light one up straight after he's finished one? That's like one every 15 minutes!

Jolleigh · 15/12/2013 13:23

Could you compromise and say that the balcony is ok while there's no washing there but that the first time you catch him not closing the door while he smokes, he's signed himself up for the trips downstairs?

formerbabe · 15/12/2013 13:27

60 a day!!! Say you are awake for 16 hours a day...that's 3.75 cigarettes every hour so one every 15/20 mins!! Good god, does he do anything else with his time...oh, and YANBU.

specialsubject · 15/12/2013 13:45

it is always worth giving up the stink sticks, even when you are 80. (if you live that long).

if he's that desperate for his fix he can walk down and up the stairs. Tell him that. Smoking just outside brings the reek into the house.

and how do you afford that many? £25 a day or something?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread