To have said something to this woman?

[sparklesandbling]

DD (4 years old) sat in sn pushchair, normally wears helmet and splint on leg. Has disabled badge on footplate of pushchair.

We were in supermarket on Saturday at lunchtime, it was busy.

She screamed once (not high pitched) and this woman immediately huffed and grumbled very loudly - we were stood 3 feet from her.

I told her dd was disabled and could not help it, and then this is a supermarket not a library.

Had she been continually screaming I could understand it but it was once and we were trying to get past her at the time to the exit.

I was really pissed off but was I unreasonable to have said something.

Op YANBU.

I'm absolutely gob snacked at the label comment though. I think I might have said 'i tell you what, I'll put a label on ds saying 'autistic' if I can put one on you that says 'ignorant bitch'

umpire if that is how people think nowadays I shall get myself a T-shirt made saying 'I have anxiety, OCD, chiari malformation and an undiagnosed kidney disorder..sorry if I ruin your day in any way' what an ignorant person that woman was!

OP you weren't unreasonable, my kids scream all the time and they aren't disabled. It's life!

Gosh Wilson I cannot imagine how difficult life must be, honest. I was only trying to find a way to make it easier. Cracking and being rude back rarely makes the person feel better or good about themselves (I know from experience!) but is easy to do in the moment, I am certain. I guess I was just wondering if anyone had a hint for a better strategy so that not everyone is re-inventing the wheel, or trying to be constructive in the moment, but has a stock response that works to soothe the situation for all. Perhaps there just isn't one. I suppose the problem with being a bitch back would be the guilt later in the day remembering that that woman is someone's mother/ great aunt/ daughter and might have had a very bad day herself with all sorts of pressures and that might have been an alarming last straw for her too. I suppose I am hankering after an impossible world where we (women especially) try to help and support one another as often as possible and not go with conflict.

Yanbu.

My dd had a tshirt printed that said "they have autism,whats your excuse for acting like a cunt" I've never seen her wear it but I expect she does.

ProfPlum, there are people who I think say things, because they don't think about it. The nurse at the surgery last week doing my blood test, said (quite rudely!) to ds, 'you'll never talk if you don't put that tongue away!' - she obviously didn't know he is disabled and thought he was being rude by not answering her questions. I explained that he has a genetic condition, will probably never speak, and his tongue sticking out is part of the condition. She was appalled that she had said something so rude, apologised profusely and was lovely with ds. I wasn't offended, or upset because I knew she meant no harm by it.

However, unfortunately a lot of the tutters, starers, eye rollers and rude people are just idiots. sometimes after a bad day, you just feel like a fierce mother lion, and want to roar in their faces.

Put a label on him saying 'Only Cunts Complain About Me'

Put a label over her gob!

Teach your kids to stare at tutters very intently and say in a really creepy voice: "You don't have long...."
Or similar.
I'm only semi-joking.

YWNBU, if you'd misinterpreted her huffing and she was nice but sensitive, she'd have been sorry.

hazeyjane that must be very wearing :-( Sometimes I hanker after a magic wand.

YWNBU OP, people should be challenged
As for 'put a label on him' - I'm incredulous!

I feel a bit emotional reading this thread - both my kids have additional needs but it's DS aged 4 who attracts the tutters and those who tell me I need to 'control' my kids when we're out.i used to just ignore it and then spend the rest of the day letting it eating me up.now I just can't stop myself saying something-I'm pregnant and my hormones just won't allow me a dignified silence.on the flip side, some people are so wonderful with me and my kids and I love them for it.OP YANBU and I'm sorry that woman couldn't control herself and behave in a decent way.

Yes you are right to have pulled her up on it.