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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think we're going to be late again, and it's not my fault

14 replies

SEmyarse · 15/12/2013 08:57

Have agreed to take 17yo ds to his footie match this morning. We agreed last night, we need to leave at 9am. I got up at 8am, and knocked on his door on the way past and asked if he was going in the bathroom first or me. He said he would, so I'm downstairs in my jammies dossing. He has then laid in bed till 8.40, and just gone in the bathroom for a shower now. He will stroll down at 8.55 proclaiming he is ready, and then act aghast that i'm not, and blame me for being late. We will have a row about the fact that since he hogs the bathroom (effectively) for a whole hour, that I can't actually get ready.

I didn't actually want to go in the bathroom first, but if I had I would be blamed for him being late because he was waiting to get in the bathroom. I'd tell him to stuff it, but his team is short of players, and buses don't run early enough on a sunday for him to get there. so he will be late, have to go straight on the pitch and play badly through lack of warming up.

When do they realise the world doesn't revolve around them?

And he's just come down with his filthy kit which has apparently been on his bedroom floor all week, caked in mud. He's scrubbing at it with wet wipes, which isn't helping. I'm finding this quite amusing.

He's back to cadging lifts after christmas now. Wonder how many weeks until he'll start trying to convince me he's changed, and start doing jobs etc in exchange for lifts, that he will assure me he'll be ready for.

OP posts:
BohemianGirl · 15/12/2013 09:00

I don't understand why you didnt use the bathroom at 8am rather than wanting o go in after your teenager? I cant think of anything worse than using a bathroom after it's running with water, condensation, tops off bottles and toothpaste spit in the sink. Yup my kids are mingers.

lljkk · 15/12/2013 09:04

Sympathies to OP Flowers.

samandi · 15/12/2013 09:12

I would have just gone in the shower at 8, as BohemianGirl says.

Not sure how long you need to get ready just to give someone a lift. It's not as if you're taking part in a fashion parade.

Whereisegg · 15/12/2013 09:20

why on earth does your ds need a shower before he goes to football, presumably to get sweaty and covered in mud?!

If you know this is an issue, why didn't you just jump in after knockinh on his door, or even last night?

I think yabu to make other parents take him from now on because he spent too long in the shower.
I'm a parent that drives and it drives me mad that so many others assume I'm happy to be a free taxi for their dc tbh.

RandomMess · 15/12/2013 09:22

How about you giving him the responsibility to wake you up 40 minutes before you need to leave with a Brew so that you can get ready and the bathroom will be free for you by then Wink. So if he doesn't do it you don't even have to bother getting out of bed Grin

kali110 · 15/12/2013 10:03

Why did you wait for 40minutes? If he was still in bed after 10 go in there yourself

cardibach · 15/12/2013 10:13

I think Random has the solution. YOu say we are going to be late, but you aren't are you? He is. It's his match. Tell him that if he wants a lift he needs to get himself up and ready, allowing for the fact that others may need the household facilities as well. It's not rocket science.

Noflamingoshere · 15/12/2013 10:15

Random I think I love you. This shall be the new regime implemented in my house Grin

SchoolMumIsPainInTheBum · 15/12/2013 10:41

He's not going to be any different until you make him face up to reality - if he wants a lift he must be up and ready. If he's not - no lift and no match.

You need to step back and make him accept the consequences of his actions.

Caitlin17 · 15/12/2013 11:21

Were you intending to stay and watch him play? If not if it were me at that time on a Sunday I'd have stayed in bed as long as I could and just have put a long coat on top of my jammies.

dutchyoriginal · 15/12/2013 11:26

Go for Random's solution!

SEmyarse · 15/12/2013 14:03

He was late, that IS him facing consequences. I don't care, I got to stay in my jammies longer. I wasn't going to start sprinting about because he'd left it too late.

His moan, is that he WAS ready on time. As I've pointed out, that's not much good if he doesn't allow me time to get ready also.

I didn't care particularly which way round we did it, but given a choice, I'm quite happy to doss with brekkie and the computer. Not my problem if he then fails to execute his plan of getting in the shower first.

And no, i'm not expecting others to take him. It'll be up to him to negotiate a lift, and if he can't then tough. Mostly I offer anyway, since I like to watch, but I'm not beholden to it, and it's certainly not my responsibility if he can't get himself sorted.

And whoever said fashion parade? I was given 5 mins to shower, teeth, dress, coat, shoes etc. That doesn't seem an excessive amount of pouncing time.

OP posts:
SEmyarse · 15/12/2013 14:04

Hmmm, poncing not pouncing.

OP posts:
LordEmsworth · 15/12/2013 16:15

Why on earth was he showering before going to play football? That makes no sense at all...

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