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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Christmas laundry qu!

51 replies

3FrenchHenD19s · 15/12/2013 07:52

My DSis, partner and 3DC are coming to us for Christmas day and staying over night.

I have 3 young DC and only just keep on top of our laundry.

I asked my DSis if she would bring their own towels and bedding on with them to save me having a few extra loads of washing. She sounded a bit surprised. So AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

3FrenchHenD19s · 15/12/2013 08:39

1 set of kingsize bedding, 3 sets if single bedding and 5 towels is a lot. I do have a washing machine and tumble dryer.

I suppose IABbitU bit am going to stick to my guns. I wouldn't be bothered if she asked me to do the same.

OP posts:

GiveItYourBestStockings · 15/12/2013 08:52

YANBU. Like PP, when we were kids and went to stay with family we took sleeping bags and towels. You're not a hotel.

FunkyBoldRibena · 15/12/2013 09:05

If she has 3 kids as well, and is travelling a fair distance, then surely she will also have problems with keeping on top of the washing...plus she is losing 'washing time' by travelling to you.

Isn't Boxing Day a duvet day anyway if you have little ones?

I think you are being a bit unreasonable, bedding for 5 people plus towels may take up half the car.

Aquariusgirl86 · 15/12/2013 09:14

My mum always offers to bring her own, two toddlers both in cloth nappies, she knows I'm snowed under. Often friends offer to bring bedding and towels, sometimes I accept the offer sometimes I don't, depending on how I'm sorted (moved house 4 times within a year so I was often in complete chaos). I would also offer if going to a family, but I'd never ask someone if they hadn't offered, that's the line in my opinion

Delurkedforthis · 15/12/2013 09:16

She's your sister ffs not visiting royalty. My sister is not the easiest person in the world but even she wouldn't object if I asked her to bring her own towels.

But there again I will probably ask the Windsors to bring their own next time: jeepers they were hard work!

Sirzy · 15/12/2013 09:18

If someone told me to bring my own bedding with me (unless it was a sleeping bag/quilts on the floor set up) I would be refusing to stay because it just screams of not being welcome.

Towels is one thing but to expect them to provide bedding is wrong IMO.

Pidgy · 15/12/2013 09:23

I think it's fine to ask your sister that!
Probably wouldn't ask anyone else though.
I wouldn't be offended if anyone asked me.

montysma1 · 15/12/2013 09:43

You have a machine and tumble drier and you can't manage some extra laundry? Jeez, I thought you must mean hand wash.
I have just done a clothes back log, and bed change for one super king, 3 singles and a cot. Machines running for a few hours but in terms of my actual time, a few minutes to transfer loads and another few to put stuff away.You aren't doing the washing and drying, the machines are. Yabu.

mousmous · 15/12/2013 09:48

for one night? yabu
maybe you should look at how you can generally reduce your own laundry so that one night doesn't get you into a huge backlog!

could you do a service wash by a local laundrette after christmas?
some even pick it up and drop it back home all washed, dried, ironed and folded.

Iamsparklyknickers · 15/12/2013 09:49

Depends how they're travelling. By car where they can squeeze a couple of things in YANBU, train or plane YABU.

I certainly don't think it's the height of rudeness to ask at all.

If you're that behind on your washing though is it worth going to a launderette and getting a lump of it out the way in one go? It's not particularly cheap, but getting several loads out the way might help you get back on track.

MrsDeVere · 15/12/2013 09:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shellywelly1973 · 15/12/2013 10:41

Yabu...why invite her if you couldn't manage the work thst comes with having guests to stay?

MammaTJ · 15/12/2013 10:45

YANBU, my DC have their own sleeping bags. Not so easy for me and DP, but we could easily roll up our duvet into a bin bag.

SMorgauseBordOfChristmasTat · 15/12/2013 10:47

Seems very rude to me. Their car will be pretty full anyway.

XMAS2013MN4509 · 15/12/2013 10:57

Do you not think they have enough to do/think about packing up to come to you for Christmas?

I could understand if you didn't have enough bedding or towels or even if you lived in a small flat/house without a dryer... but really? You have enough stuff and you have a dryer - you are being very unreasonable.

CeliaFate · 15/12/2013 10:59

I have asked close friends to bring their own duvets when I didn't have enough. Otherwise, it's the done thing for a host to provide bedding and towels isn't it?
Fair enough to stick to your guns, but why post here about it?

Inertia · 15/12/2013 11:23

If you have a washing machine and a dryer then it looks like you just can't be bothered - your time is far too precious to spend doing laundry, but your sister should be grateful to have the chance to travel to you, fill the car with duvets, and have a couple of loads of extra washing too.

The laundry load is the price you pay for not having to pack up and travel yourselves.

Totallyunited · 15/12/2013 11:31

YABVU, seriously, it's a few extra sheets and towels which you won't need again immediately so can be washed at a later dat. I think you at making a ridiculous deal about something minor. If you on have a a machine and a drier then it's no big deal keeping on top of washing, it would be an extra load or 2 and about 5 minutes total of your time.

TalkativeJim · 15/12/2013 11:32

Ahh I wouldn't have done that.

No it's not massively rude, esp with family, but I'd see it as part of the hosting.

Might be me as I'm a bit obsessive about bedding and love making sure guest beds have lovely crisp line-dried smelling sheets and tales waiting on the ends of the beds. I'm way OTT

TalkativeJim · 15/12/2013 11:33

Tales?

Towels obv! Though now I'm considering leaving little hand-illustrated books of fairy stories too, for those sleepless nights.

LittleBabySqueakSqueak · 15/12/2013 21:26

I was with you until you said you had a dryer. Get them to strip the beds before they leave. 5 minutes max to gather up the laundry and put it by the machine. 1 minute to stuff machine and set it running, 1 minute to transfer to dryer, 5-10 to fold when dry x number of loads. The ironing will be a pain in the arse, but nobody ever died of not having their sheets ironed, you can catch up with that gradually at the beginning of the year.

Makinglists · 15/12/2013 21:35

When I visit I kind expect (or at least offer) to bring own towels but wouldn't expect to bring own sheets (unless host didn't have enough). Afterwards I'd just leave them in the laundry basket until I had time to wash them.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 15/12/2013 21:39

Most people would ask if you'd like them to bring bedding: my mum always asks several times if I'm sure I wouldn't like them to bring bedding, towels, dishes.... And it's not rude to say 'would you be able to bring towels, I don't think we have enough for a dry one each on boxing day morning'

But it is unreasonable to ask them to bring their own just because you don't want to wash theirs when they leave. So yeah, YABU.

TheMuppetsSingChristmas · 15/12/2013 21:40

YAB totally U and very inhospitable. But this is one of those issues that divides people completely. I'd feel very unwelcome if you asked me to bring my own bedding, and I'd never dream of asking anyone to bring bedding and towels when I invite them to stay. Others do. But I don't think you should be surprised that she was surprised.

whois · 15/12/2013 21:44

I don't mind taking a sleeping bag and towel for me when staying at a friends, however it seems a bit off to go stay somewhere for a night and have to take four sets of bedding in an already full car.

You have a washing machine and tumble dryer - get a grip on the 'coping'. Bung the towels in (1 min) take them out and bung in dryer ( 1 min). Strip the beds and chuck into two wash and dry loads ( maybe 20 mins total) so not loads to do!

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