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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish I could get flu over Xmas?

46 replies

PaulSmenis · 14/12/2013 22:02

I would just like to spend boxing day and the rest of the week in my own home. I can't even enjoy Xmas day this year 'cause we have to set off so early on boxing day.

I don't mind everyone else going without me, but AIBU to pray for a nasty bout of flu so I can just chill at home rather than making forced polite small talk with people I see maybe twice a year?

OP posts:
LadyKooKoo · 14/12/2013 23:04

YABU and idiotic. Would you like the type of flu that killed my Dad off on Christmas Day or the flu that put me in hospital for 11 weeks and then another year of my life to recover from? I hate stupid flippant comments like this which are clearly made my people who have no idea what the hell they are talking about.

Fyouimfabulous · 14/12/2013 23:16

I had flu last christmas, it kicked in less than 12 hours after I broke up for the holidays and had me floored for ten days solid.
I have the flu jab each year as am asthmatic, had I not had the jab, I'd have spent that time in a hospital bed.
Flu is not worth joking over, it can quite literally kill you!

Isthatwhatdemonsdo · 15/12/2013 00:03

YABU I had flu when I was 18. I was bed bound for a week. I thought I was going to die. I've never felt so ill in my life, even with Asthma and a bout of Tonsilitis. Be careful what you wish for!!

AngryFeet · 15/12/2013 00:06

I had flu last xmas and it was miserable. YABU.

LightastheBreeze · 15/12/2013 00:50

I think you just have to say you are not going and that is that. DHs relatives wanted us to drive hundreds of miles to have Xmas with them and I just said no I am not going, so he just had to tell them we weren't going there but they were quite welcome to visit us sometime. Just say no.

raisah · 15/12/2013 04:50

YABU I got the flu ladt christmas & it nearly finished me off. I did not chill or relax, I spent 5 days shivering and sweating with a v high temp. I was lucky that I got it the day after I got to my mums otherwise there was no way I would have been able to look after my dc. I couldnt get out of bed to get water.

BeaWheesht · 15/12/2013 06:51

Don't be ridiculous. We had the flu a couple of Christmases ago and it was the worst time of my life. Ds and I have had breathing problems ever since. Believe me that's much more bloody annoying than a few days spent with annoying relatives.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 15/12/2013 07:28

I had the most miserable Christmas ever the year I had flu!

It truly was hell and took me 3 weeks to get over it fully. I would not wish it on anyone.

The dses got it too and Christmas afternoon saw me and the dses tucked up in bed feeling. Like shot while DH got drunk with the relatives I was supposed to be entertaining!

So no, it didn't even get me out of cooking. I worked the night before not realising quite how awful I was going to feel until it was too late to phone in sick, and then cooked all morning! By the time lunch was ready, I was really ill and ate nothing. Ds1 vomitted in his dinnerXmas Hmm

That was the last year we invited anyone over for christmasXmas Grin

That's what you need to do op, stand your ground and stop visiting so much!

TinselTaTas · 15/12/2013 07:53

I don't understand why people feel obligated to do as others wish at this time of year, it is also your Christmas and thus entitled to enjoy it any way you choose.

I'd be putting my foot down and saying you'll be in your home for your Christmas. Don't wish yourself ill, wish yourself the ability to stand up for yourself!

Original poster
PaulSmenis · 15/12/2013 08:57

I didn't mean to offend anyone. Especially the lady who has lost people from flu. My last bout five years ago had me off work for a week and had to return after that. The inside of my mouth was covered in blisters and it was an epic struggle to make it for a wee.

A nasty flu-like virus would be better. I fear that putting my foot down at this stage would be impossible. I'm also in a grump that we're not seeing my parents AGAIN this year. They live abroad and we had to spend the money on a new car. DP finds my dad hard work anyway, so he is probably releived about that. In a ideal world I'd jump on a ferry with DS and let DP do his thing, but that would cause too many arguments.

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 15/12/2013 10:50

I fear that putting my foot down at this stage would be impossible

Why?

Did he fear that making plans for your time without consultation would be impossible? What are you scared of? Often this sort of thing is a sign of a problem, not the problem itself.

TSSDNCOP · 15/12/2013 12:08

I'm betting with your sunny disposition most of the people you are visiting are wishing you would stay at home.

Original poster
PaulSmenis · 15/12/2013 14:23

I'd just like some down time before it's back to work. I don't feel rested when I have to go and stay over at other people's houses. True, flu is not the best way out of it and I was being very silly when I said I would like it to get out of stay away.

I am perfectly capable of being polite and personable. It's not as though I didlike these people and they are a nice bunch it would just be nice to spend between Christmas and New Years sleeping in my own bed for a change. Going to visit DP's family is a tradition and I would be rude to piss on that particular bonfire.

Januray is shit enough and I just want to hibernate and mentally prepare myself for when I go back to work.

OP posts:
TinselTaTas · 15/12/2013 14:29

Aren't you your own family now with dp and ds? Start your own traditions! Stand up for yourself, I cannot understand anyone going along with a outworn tradition to keep the peace. People do get used to change.

whois · 15/12/2013 14:35

I take it you've never had flu then OP? Cos that's a fucking stupid thing to say. Flu isn't a 'bad cold' and if you get your wish you'll be in bed feeling like you're going to die and possibly too sick to get out of bed to get water.

Wish for a bad cold, or a 24 hour sickness bug or something instead!

Original poster
PaulSmenis · 15/12/2013 14:41

It's already been arranged by DP now Tinsel, so they are expecting us, so I know for a fact it's rude to change my mind. Like I said, they are nice people.

Whois, I was being a twat! I had a bloody awful bout of flu about 5 maybe 6 years ago. I had such a high fever the inside of my mouth turned to blisters. A nasty viral infection with a bit of a temperature and excess mucous would be much better!

OP posts:
ziggiestardust · 15/12/2013 14:44

OP I'd set the stage after Christmas dinner; 'ooooh you know I'm feeling a bit dodgy. Are you feeling ok?'

Lock self in bathroom for an hour.

Come out announcing you have the shits and are going to take a bath and some neurofen to see if the cramps will subside; express more disbelief that this has hit you on Christmas Day.

Sleep on sofa so as not to 'disturb' partner.

Then claim you've been 'up all night with it and really feel bad' the next day.

Obviously there's no way you'd want to pass this on. Sigh lots. Wish him and DS well for their day out, and relax.

Not the best solution I know, but if your DP is being a bit of a douche about the whole thing, then you've got to fight fire with fire.

Original poster
PaulSmenis · 15/12/2013 14:48

Thanks for the advice ziggie, I suppose I should just suck it up and go with the flow. I'm just being a dick and a lazy one at that.

It's just that I get really bad SAD at this time of year and want to curl up and sleep as much as possible. Teenage DC are pretty self sufficient and think I'm a sad old dinosaur anyway. So, they are happy for me to keep myself to myself.

Also, DC want to stay at home and so there's all the moaning and sulking to put up with.

OP posts:
FunkyBoldRibena · 15/12/2013 14:49

so I know for a fact it's rude to change my mind

Earlier it was impossible, now it's just rude. And from what you say - you didn't change your mind, you had it decided for you. Just say 'I'm not going' if you don't want to go.

snippyMcSnippy · 15/12/2013 14:53

OP,

ODFOD.

I had flu last Christmas from 22nd Dec to 2nd week of Jan. It was dreadful. Wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Original poster
PaulSmenis · 15/12/2013 15:03

Maybe I should get one of those SAD lamps and see if that helps.

OP posts:
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