to wonder if he really exists (or just to want it)

[idiuntno57]

DH is fervent cafflick. Kids brought up as such.

I am an atheist but it strikes me that I would enjoy life a whole lot more if I believed.

lily I am so sorry. I think loosing a child would rock my world so hard I am not sure I would ever recover, faith or not so my thoughts are with you.

I have ordered the Alain de Botton book from the library and will continue in my frustrated quest for meaning and comfort where there may not be any. I have to say the people of the church I go to with DH and the kids are amongst the kindest I have met in my life so if I can be like them even without the faith that would be a good start.

But many, many people don't have a 'god-shaped hole in their brains.' It's perfectly possible to live a happy life without filling it full of imaginary friends - especially when the majority of mainstream myth systems on offer are inherently misogynistic. If you want your life to be given structure by an all-powerful male superior being, then you might find the femsub side of BDSM more fun than signing up to one of the Abrahamic superstitions.
There are some people who feel the need to cling to some sort of wooly vague Higher Power/Higher Being viewpoint, which is admirable in that it rejects the nasty bullshit of the mainstream brands but it is a bit, well, silly. But a fully cognitive adult who professes to believe in any of the gods/monotheistic myth systems, well, someone like that is either gullible, inadequate or Not Very Nice. So much of it's ab out tribalism as well as misogyny, too.

But solid just because the system is misogynistic does the faith that underpins it have to be?

Succour, reassurance, peace..these are all things I see that faith gives people around me. Not always and not completely but more so than many.

Is it wrong to yearn for this even when you can't take the leap required to actually get there?

But people who don't see the need for imaginary friends also feel peace and comfort. We find it in out friendships and family relationships - and there is also comfort to be had in the fact that we are all made of stardust, part o f the the timestream and though our individual 'selves' live for a while and die, at the atomic level we remain in some form or other and the world is forever changed by us having been part of it.
I don't think dedicating yourself to a bunch of woman-hating, kiddy-fiddling, money-grabbing bullshit peddlers is going to make you happy. TNH I think you might find therapy of some kind a lot more useful; I am getting the impression that you are suffering from high levels of anxiety.

I find committing random acts of kindness to those I know or I don't know help me to feel good about what I am doing and give me meaning.

Would you consider volunteering?

I understand the yearning, but I suspect you won't find in in faith so I'd stop spending much time and energy looking in that direction.

I think the 'god-shaped hole' does exist but not in every person. I seem to be sadly lacking in such a void and feel rather content and at peace.

I come was raised a catholic and my life is so much better for finally coming out as an atheist to my family - especially my mother - and declaring that not only don't I believe in god but I actually think the catholic church is pretty fucking evil.

You can practice Christian values without believing. You can be kind, loyal, decent, loving, forgiving and tolerant just because it's the right thing to do and not because a book tells you. I also think non-believers tend to embrace life more as they're not kidding themselves there's some paradise waiting for them in another life.

solid I am not sure that questioning the meaning of it all automatically implies a need for therapy. The NHS would be swamped.

And pacific I do volunteer for stuff, though not as much as I feel I should but more than I can really fit in with the rest of life. It helps.

I will try the random acts of kindness approach and see how that works.

Perhaps try reading the New Scientist article I linked to before writing off the god-shape hole in our brains. Everyone has it, not everyone fills it with god.

That was to solid and pacific btw.

I cannot get to the complete articles, whereisshe, there's a paywall.

Well, if the god-shaped hole does not need to be filled with god, then I can agree with the need to make sense of our environment etc.
I agree with Alain de Botton's book and the 'good' bits of religion, just not the faith bits.

I think it is entirely possible to be a moral and 'good' person without religion.

idiuntno, I know what you mean re fitting things in. Maybe you need to do less, not more?
Have you considered a mindfullness approach? Learning to live in the moment rather than always striving for something?

See I think when we think of historical cultures with different belief systems (Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, Maya etc) we have a tendency to inwardly think of them patronisingly as gullible and superstitious.

The thing is though, I can't see any differentiation between those ancient religions and the ones today. (In fact, we have Anglican figures blaming floods in Yorkshire on homosexuality )

Whilst I know some wonderful people in the church (my 2 nun aunts by marriage, for example) I suspect that if they weren't involved in the church, they would still be wonderful, caring individuals.

However, I know many, many more people who treat the church as a career opportunity (don't get me started about the number of people in my work who have suddenly started going to the same church as our Chief Exec ); or as a moral authority to behave in contemptuous ways (Bible in one hand, dick in the other).

I think all the supposed 'good' qualities of the church - sense of community, doing charitable and good things, providing comfort and support to those in time of need - are all things that we can each do for each other, without the need to believe in a higher being, or aligning ourselves to organisations which generally hold superstitious beliefs, misogynstic views, and dodgy human rights records. I remember being really when a friend said to me that 'even though I was an atheist, I would bring up my DC with 'Christian morals though?'. Organised religions do not have a monopoly on integrity and compassion!

pacific strangely enough I have just got a book about mindfulness out of the library..just need to find time to read it!

I too think it is possible to be moral and good without believing in a god (s). However it strikes me that the belief provides a sort of internal verification (admittedly not always to the good) of ones actions. So if they are good actions that are hard to achieve then the faith will get you through. Sometimes I feel the need for more than myself to urge me onward to achieve something. Hence the god shaped hole etc. etc.

*You were dead for 13.5bn years - you beat enormous odds to get here at all (your parents had the genetic capability of producing trillions of distinct people - but you were the one who got the chance to live). Your life is the tiniest fraction of a moment in the lifespan of the universe - pretty soon (sorry!) you'll be off again to your natural state - being dead.

But you were here - a member of the most intelligent species that has ever existed on Earth (that we know of) living at the very best time to live in human history. The atoms that make you were born in the heart of a star that spewed out it's guts when it died.

You are the universe talking about itself. You are just amazing, truly - and inordinately privileged.

I know that's all a bit useless when you're buried under with worries, but I think we should all take a moment every now and then to think...."Wow! Fuck me....I'm alive"!*

This ^^ is pure fantasticness! best thing i've read in ages. Thank you.

I am a practising Jew. I generally believe but go through phases of not believing. But it doesn't matter as it's important to have good morals (Hebrew midot) behaving in a decent way, helping others, not slandering etc etc. I am not sure whether believe really brings happiness but belonging to a close knit community who all look out for others definitely does.

op, He's there. close your eyes, open your heart and mind. be ready. He won't let you down.

Morning idiunt. I meant to add this yesterday but I lost a few hours somewhere..... a very good friend recommended a book to me called Spirit Junkie. She has found it very useful.
www.amazon.co.uk/Spirit-Junkie-Discovering-Self-Love-Miracles/dp/1848507135/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1387271776&sr=8-1&keywords=spirit+junkie

Hope it helps.

thank you Lily