I'm doing a PhD, I'm lucky enough to have funding, its full time and part time isn't an option. I have 2 young children. It is bloody difficult! I feel I juggle changing nappies with reading journals, I breastfeed whilst trying to type work for my supervisors, I get the children to sleep and work for hours every evening and still seem to be behind. I then seem to tend to children all night and be a walking zombie the next day. In truth I think I feel let down. When I applied for this it was a real family decision, with huge encouragement I spent hours with various family members, explaining what would be expected, what I would need to put in and if successful how I would leave a very successful, well paid job, take a huge step down in salary and how crucially I would need help with childcare as we could not afford it off the scholarship. Everyone encouraged me, everyone supported me, everyone made promises about who would help, how and when and everyone celebrated when I was successful, and now I feel I am on my own. One by one the support has dropped off and now I have 2 children to look after full time and a full time PhD to do. I'm stuck, I can't go back to my old job, this is supposed to be a career change and I am too far through to turn back. In many ways some of it is just cause life has changed and obviously my plans are not others responsibilities but I do feel let down.
I know without doubt this is my problem and other people are fully within their rights to change their minds, withdraw support and my children are my (and DPs) responsibility. I don't hold them withdrawing against them, I don't even mention it. But now I am struggling, I am knackered and I feel alone. I hate it but I feel let down.