to think school is being u re asking for money

[PrincessScrumpy]

dd attends a state school and in comparison to other schools friends' dc go to her's seems to ask for a lot more in "donations", it's £1 for this and £1.50 for that. Eg) tickets to see the nativity were £2 each so that was £4 for dh and I, when dtds go next year they will be in a different nativity due to age difference so that will be £8 in tickets, plus £2 for a disc of photos as you can't take photos in the performance etc. Now I'm okay with this to a point and so far, excluding trips, I have spent £30 ish this term for one child in so-called donations. I forgot 50p for a biscuit for a charity thing and dd had to sit alone in the class (with a TA) while the rest of the class went and bought a biscuit and ate it in the hall, so you do get made to feel it's not a choice thing!

Anyway, after half term we were asked to provide a glass jar so dc could make a candle holder as a gift for parents for Christmas. Dh ate jam sandwiches for a week (I don't like them) and we sent the jar in. This week we get a note saying dc have now made their candle holders and parents are invited to the classroom to see them on display on a certain day after school and then children can take them home for a £2 "donation". I know school budgets are tight but I'm really annoyed and am probably being U as it's been a long week, but I feel we provided the jar, dd made it in school time as part of her education relating to Christmas and it's the only Christmas thing she is bringing home so why are we paying for it? Dc have been told they'll be bringing them home so how can I say "sorry dd we can't afford £2 for you to bring the "gift" home that you made for mummy and daddy, so clearly we'll have to buy it, but I feel pressurised. What does the mn jury think? Maybe this is normal in schools, dd is yr 1 so all still fairly new to me.

But then, is the school making it clear if it for the school or another charity?

What the hell is the PTA doing?

Does the HT realise the financial demands they are making on parents?

Can you afford it? If you can, then really - schools need money. Blame Mr Gove. If you can't - go speak to the school and you ought to be dealt with with great sensitivity and not asked.

The school is BU if they are basically using you to raise money for their chosen charity. They have no right to do that, and I hate how schools force parents into donation to charities they may not support through emotional blackmail and children.

If they were asking for money for the school, then I'd say YABU, because schools need parents to support them, sometimes financially, which I don't have a problem with. But to make money for external charities is wrong when they are using your children's work.

It's not additional activities though, it's lesson time during the school day - they get a budget for lessons surely. Working at a secondary school we certainly do.
Disc of photos I'm not annoyed about it's the combination of everything. I didn't buy last year's disc as dd wasn't in the pictures... well back of her head appeared in a couple I think :)

Would you rather that the children didn't do anything extra? Just the academic bog standard stuff? If you are fine with that then yes it seems a waste of money, but if you want them to do fun stuff then it costs money which often can't be found from the measly school budgets. I am saying this knowing that my own parents were very poor and yet managed 'donations' for five school aged children as they appreciated us doing fun stuff.

When they get older and go of to high school the donations seem to come less often, but instead of a £1 mufti day request, it's usually a £35 end of term trip.

The PTA should not be funding building works. The whole role of a PTA should be to provide EXTRAS to enrich the school experience, not oay for building works!

We are asked to provide £25 per child or £30 per family to the school at the beg. of the year and somehow the school is able to claim tax relief. Not all families do it - it is a voluntary contribution used by the school. (May have to do with the VA status of school)

Our PTA then use fundraising to pay for all the extras like play equipment, workshops, pantos, fun bits the school would LIKE.

I agree about the building work, that should not be supplemented by families. My posts were referring to activities that the children do, which I personally don't mind supplementing as it gives my children the opportunity to do fun stuff.

Shouldn't they be doing "fun stuff" in year 1 anyway? Most of it is for other charities, some was for the forest school area which I agree will enrich learning and I do see that as extra. £30 a term plus trips just feels a lot for one child. It makes me nervous for when dds 2 and 3 start school £90 per term!

Other primary schools seem to do just as much without constant begging. (judging by fb statuses of friends rather than exact research)

You are not being unreasonable! Can't believe the glass jar never mind your poor child having to sit out because she didn't have money for a biscuit! Definitely write a short , factual letter to the head and PTA- hopefully it will make then realise how it all adds up.

Norude I did loads of fun stuff in school...we used recycled things to make crafts. No charge.

Its not about whether or not you are on benefits. Its not that the school shouldn't do activites and ask for donations to make the number of activities viable. Its the shear number and the pressure they're putting on parents. Some parents may well be paying for these activites and be in arrears on their rent/ bills.

I like to believe that most things like this happen in life because people haven't fully thought things out rather than they are intentionally money grabbing.

If you have it in you, do write a letter. I agree with what you say about being selective in what you pay for (another mum of three here) who forgets the odd book of raffle tickets.

Tickets for our reception and Yr1 nativity were free. We are in a very deprived area and we know that if there was a charge, the same parents would not turn up and the same children would be disappointed because their parents weren't in the audience.

I guess I only mentioned about benefits as on the outside I doubt anyone would think money was tight so I feel petty complaining when we can afford it more than others but it got to me today hoe much it was adding up. I do think it's partially my mistake for thinking it was expected. Need to toughen up.

This has annoyed me for ages! I'm glad I'm not alone.
I have four school children so the "donations" add up quickly. The worst thing out school does regularly is have the children write a story or poem, then send them off to some "publisher" who writes to you saying what fabulous work your child has written, it's being put in a book...... Get your copy for £14.99!!!!!!

Notrude - but what if you are really stuggling, and your child is being excluded from something every one else is doing because you have to choose whether to spend the money on food/heating/jamjars/charitable donations?

stubbs0412 we had a Christmas card dd had designed. The picture came home on a A4 sheet of paper as a postcard size image plus an order form. That was £8 for 4 cards. Last year we bought them (naive reception parents), this year we just kept the "design". Looking at it I'm not sure how much dd did as it seems to look like all the others and knowing dd her nativity scene would have included a spider or something rather than the traditional donkey lol. A book though, wow, don't tell my school's PTA!!!!

Then as I said in my first post you should go and speak to the head. Schools do have funds that they can use to ensure that no child is excluded, but you have to make some schools aware that you can't afford it as many schools have a lot of can afford but don't want to pay parents and the school often can't afford to supplement everyone. No decent school will exclude a child on the basis of not having the money.
And note that I said DECENT school.

I feel very strongly that schools should work out what they plan to charge for (either at the beginning of each year or term), review that plan to see if it is reasonable (remembering that a family might well have a child in year 1, 2 & 6 or whatever combination) and then share that plan with the parents.

That process would reduce the creeping £1 or £2 here and there, as they would be able to see how much the total adds up to. It would also allow parents to plan for the requests, possibly pay one lump sum in advance if that helped them or make it clear to the school in advance that they wouldn't be able to meet the requested donations and prioritise the most important ones.

I know this would potentially be an admin burden for teachers, but even a retrospective review of what had been requested (done by admin staff looking at the letters that had gone out in the year) would help schools to work out whether they were making reasonable requests.

A similar process should be done to check that uniform costs are reasonable (i.e. adding up all of the costs to kit out a child for a year).

when dd left primary the PTA gave (free) each child a 'properly' made book 90 kids each child had written a story or poem for the book and it was done out of the PTA funds - made all the cake sales and fundraising seem worth while :) .

We get a lot of 'asks' but it usually a pound each (i have twins in reception) and is completely voluntary NO child is ever excluded from anything for not 'paying' ..... ever.

the junior school dd is at now asks for £37 a year per family to cover all the extras + the odd £1 mufti i think it works out much easier that way especially when all 3 will be in the same school for a year

That seems a lot tbh and really unfair.

All school play tickets are free they ask for a donation to charity when you leave (a children's cancer charity)

We have had 10p cookie day ( going to charity)

Ice creams/hot chocolate of wanted at 50p (money goes to PTA)

Then just the normal mufti day and a Christmas thing for kids to buy presents between 10p-£3 (money goes to PTA)

But our PTA are using the money for the children and have several thousand sat in its bank and the school is in no way in a deprived area however the school and parents work together like we have groundforce day where parents can give their own time to help make over the garden areas food and drink provided but you don't have to help

It seems a bit miserable but this: dd had to sit alone in the class (with a TA) while the rest of the class went and bought a biscuit is horrible, no?

I've forgotten 25p for cake once, and at least one of DD's friends has also, they just get given one so they aren't left out. Nothing's said (at least not when a one-off, but I doubt they would fuss unless the entire class stopped bringing money).

This thread has been a bit of an eyeopener for me. My daughter is in year 1 and the only thing 2 things I've ever been asked to contribute to that benefit the school so far have been a school trip and 1 set of photos. They've had a few fundraisers for charity - but only £1 here and there - but absolutely no fundraising for the school.

I don't live in a particularly deprived area and the spend per pupil, I believe, is broadly average.

To the posters saying "what about the extras", my daughter's school has loads of extras. A WHOLE TA per class, 2 years of a forest skills program, free panto, very very well equipped playgrounds, free swimming, lots of people going into the school to perform/talk to the kids. Netball courts, football pitches, nature trails, picnic tables, those climbing "trail" things. And this is state school by the way.

It's 3 forms per year, but round here that's normal. Maybe it's to do with economies of scale?

Oh - we don't get charged to watch any of the school concerts either!