to wish people wouldn't do this?

[stgeorgiaandthedragon]

I am spending Christmas alone, due to having a small family and my dad will be spending it with his partner, my brother does shift work and I am single.

I am used to this - it isn't a new situation.

But, when the inevitable questions about Christmas arise, I get so much face-pulling, further questions about my family (some of which is quite painful) invites to spend it with them (kindly meant I know) and agonised faces and "Oh! Georgia!"

I know I could just lie - but I always speak the truth (not in a self-pitying way - just something like "oh, will just have a chilled day with me!") before thinking. Plus if I lied I'd get confused with what I've said to whom - and why should I have to!?

AIBU to wish people would just tone down the drama a bit!? I'm miffed about spending Christmas alone, but far from devastated! If it doesn't upset me, why does it upset others?

If you are 'miffed' about spending it alone and a someone extends the hand of friendship - why wont you go and join another family?

I suppose because the day is often thought of as a massive social gathering / family get-together,.the default on hearing you will be alone is to think it is a sad situation for you.

Good job you dont know.my Mother as she would harrang you til you came along just to shut her up.

Maybe you could think about how you word it. So, "what are you doibg for Christmas?" - "mmm..having a meal from my favourite take away, all that good telly and a few bottles of.wine". No need to mention aloneness but not lying either.

I think it's nice that people want you with them :) Why don't you go? If it's just another day to you, have a nice day with some friends? If you weren't 'miffed' and were really planning to have a fab day to your self, it would probably come across when you spoke to people.

You are lucky to have people in your life who worry you might be lonely.

Everybody has to face questions like this. For years I did a job I was not proud of and had to answer that question at parties etc. You just have to answer as smartly as possible and then move the conversation on. A lot of the negativity will be your feelings that you 'should' be doing something else, just don't give a shit.

Enjoy your day, do whatever you like. It sounds blissful. I spend mine with family and make the best of it but really don't enjoy it. Why would you want to pitch in with a family that isn't yours. I would not pull a face at you OP!

Be vague. Say you're just having a quiet one, doing the usual. Then start talking about something related ie something you are looking forward to doing over Christmas/ how it will be great to be off work etc.

If someone is tenacious or blunt enough to return to questioning you specifically about what exactly you are doing on the day itself, look really confused at their lack of courtesy.

Perhaps say it in a different way?
oh im planning a fab christmas. Lots of crappy telly and nibbles and really going to pamper myself. Etc etc.
The more you sound like youve planned a great xmas that you are really looking forward to the less youll get the poor you comments.

Just say "I'm having a quiet one this year" and leave it at that without mentioning you're alone etc. Folk are only trying to be nice.

Also bear in mind that some people will not be looking forward to family time at Christmas but feel they have no choice.

Seeing someone doing their own thing can touch a sore nerve.

There's an awful lot of stress around this time of year.

A lot of the time I barely know them!

However, the reason I won't go to theirs is because it really is a hugely awkward situation, and it isn't one people are likely to realise if they haven't ever been in that situation (I don't mean that patronisingly at all, just want to explain.)

With the best will in the world, people have their own routines, ways and traditions at Christmas and you get in the way of that. It is people I barely know, and sitting around making small talk is cringeworthy, especially when you can sense the element of "who the hell is that?" from other relatives! You can't relax and slob out and you are a pity-guest, not because they desperately want you there but because they want to make themselves feel OK about not leaving the poor one out!

Except I don't view myself in those terms and it isn't pleasant realising other people see you like that!

Yeah but Puppy - people do get specific. "Seeing your parents? Who are you going to be going to?" Those sort of questions :)

I think quite a few people would actually prefer not to spend Christmas with their families. I've certainly thought at times that I'd rather spend the time on a lovely long walk, or even doing the decorating.

I was talking to a single friend yesterday. She's doing what she does every year - 4 days in a mega hotel on the strip in Las Vegas . She loves it, lots to see and do and it's all over when she gets back.

Could you take yourself off somewhere OP?

I could carabos, but I am honestly, fine at home. It would be lovely if I had a lovely warm annoying family I could visit or could come to me, but I don't - and that has its pluses.

I may go away skiing next year but holidays at this time of year are VERY expensive and if I am truthful I'm a bit loath to go away alone again as was treated like a bit of a pariah last time I did!